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This is late, so you might not see this, but I think this is where you start seeing the difference between words and actions. People who you can trust will say

This is late, so you might not see this, but I think this is where you start seeing the difference between words and actions. People who you can trust will say something that makes you feel safe and comfortable, and then back those words up with actions. People who are taking advantage of you will always tell you those words but they will never turn into anything actionable. This is similar in a romantic and business partner: someone saying the right things is a good sign, but them living up to what they say is where the proof is.

robocat 3y ago
Beaut advice. Too many grifters saying the right things but doing the wrong things. From what I've seen it's mostly self-deception - grifters often don't always seem to be consciously aware that they are doing it - and they usually can't be confronted about it. The conscious takers seem to eventually come a cropper in my limited experience. I see it play out again and again in relationships between a giver and a taker. The giver keeps giving and the taker keeps taking. Often with both seemingly unaware of what they are doing - and rationally I find the giver is at much at fault as the taker - certainly you see people begin a new relationship with the same destructive roles. As a sweeping generalisation I see more women putting themselves into the giver role, and I see fewer people learn to manage it. I have a 60+ female friend and a 50+ male friend who just avoid all relationships as a way to avoid feeling resentful from giving too much. Giver/giver relationships work but still require care because it's so easy to slip into giver/taker. Not quite as common to see the giving/taking in business settings (in New Zealand at least), although really common to see givers in nursing and teaching.