It doesn't matter though. Even if they hit at 0.01% of their orbital velocities, that's still 100km/hr. So it's like a full highway speed car crash. No way two

It doesn't matter though. Even if they hit at 0.01% of their orbital velocities, that's still 100km/hr. So it's like a full highway speed car crash. No way two sats colliding will survive that. And remember the collision speed can range from 0 to 200% of their ground velocities. Getting that close to zero is extremely unlikely.