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My parents had the same life. They worked for the government. One thing I realized is that if you don't work hard and generate wealth, your next generation of

My parents had the same life. They worked for the government. One thing I realized is that if you don't work hard and generate wealth, your next generation of family won't enjoy the life that you had, as wealth compounds really quickly and not accumulating makes generations start from scratch. If that is not your life goal—creating a family, looking after generations, etc.—then you are doing the right thing. It is a cultural thing.

lm28469 3y ago
In countries with proper social safety nets, health care, pensions, paid vacations, parental leaves, &c. this isn't felt the same way. Many countries with strong family values have none of this bullshit mentality either, it's perfectly possible to have a family and look after generations and have an healthy relationship with work and money. If anything money tear families apart more easily than they get them together
ehnto 3y ago
I have decided not to have kids (for clear cut personal reasons) and I find myself bouncing back and forth between wanting to amass some nest egg and just spending it all on life enjoyment. I also bounce back and forth between full time work and part time for the same reasons. I am always much happier and healthier during part time work, but it isn't quite enough money to fully participate in the society I live in.
seer 3y ago
Hmm, maybe I’m a “troubled country” offspring but my generation almost universally started from scratch or close to it. The only thing my parents managed to do for me was get me a PC, at the expense of things like clothes or even food - turned out quite the return on investment for me and them. But the point is that a lot of people around me started with very little and I’ve not seen much of a difference in their fortunes, sure having stability and initial capital gives you more options, but the quality of life - the elusive “happiness” was mostly tangential to that.
dukeyukey 3y ago
It is a cultural thing, but really it's a poor country cultural thing. There's kinda an unspoken assumption in much of the rich world that economic success isn't an individual thing, but a country-wide thing. That even if you dob't find economic success, the country will keep growing, the citizens will get wealthier, and your children will be better off than you are. In countries that either don't experience economic growth (or have only found it recently e.g. India and China), you get what you describe. (Obviously this isn't a set-in-stone thing, but the general pattern holds)
lukego 3y ago
I'm a parent of young kids in Scandinavia. The way I see it is that I mostly work and earn money for my own personal satisfaction. It's a selfish and egotistical activity but important for my own mental health. I need to be careful that it doesn't interfere with my responsibility to raise independent kids who don't want or need money from me. This takes time and energy to make sure they can make the most of the social infrastructure available to them e.g. their school. I'm very restrained in how I spend money for private consumption out of concern for setting an example that's unproductive e.g. making the kids feel pressure to earn a lot of money to sustain a lifestyle of luxury.
megous 3y ago
> One thing I realized is that if you don't work hard and generate wealth, your next generation of family won't enjoy the life that you had, as wealth compounds really quickly and not accumulating makes generations start from scratch. Except when it doesn't, so my parents went through high inflation in 90's (~10% or more every year for a decade) and their parents through monetary reform in 1953, which saw savings "re-calculated" by communist government order anywhere from 1:5 to 1:50. And that's not nearly even the craziest country out there when it comes to inflation and monetary machinations of the ruling class.
refurb 3y ago
> if you don't work hard and generate wealth, your next generation of family won't enjoy the life that you had This seems like a very upper-middle class mentality. The vast majority of people don't ever pass on wealth. Hell, go back 30 years and getting an inheritance was something the ultra-wealthy only did.
- ejb999 3y ago
  the vast majority of people don't, but I would say close to 100% of parents wish they could. What parent doesn't want their kids to be at least equal to, if not better off then they were?
  - JohnFen 3y ago
    Every parent wants this, but how do you define "better off"? I won't be handing a large pile of cash to my children, mostly because to me, them being "better off" means that they are able to build the lives they want. When I look at families where the parents gave their kids a large amount of wealth, it seems rare that the kids have been better off for it.
jaybrendansmith 3y ago
It's definitely a result of growing up poor. If you've grown up poor, you've been denied things your entire life. You grow up with a deep sense of financial insecurity, a very valid sense of insecurity, because you know how easy it is all to lose, and you've seen it happen. This puts you in a headspace where no matter how successful you become, you cannot enjoy yourself during the day without this nagging feeling that you need to work and be productive. This is a great help initially, but I believe it does make it difficult to slow down, enjoy life, even if you're quite comfortable when you retire.
- JohnFen 3y ago
  That's not inevitable, though. I grew up dirt poor, but it didn't instill such a sense of financial insecurity in me. What it taught me was that you don't need much money to live a happy and fulfilling life. That has been a strength in my career and one of the keys to my success: I don't need to sacrifice any more than I'm willing to in order to be successful, and I can stand firm for those things that are important to me, precisely because I can walk away from any job without disaster.
pie420 3y ago
why would you want to curse your next generation with inherited wealth? Wouldn't you rather they learn how to work hard from you and to earn their living on their own?
- ryandrake 3y ago
  Anyone with a large inheritance that they consider a "curse" please feel free to send me that curse. I accept PayPal, Venmo, Bitcoin and I'll even do an ACH transfer. Email in profile.
- deleted 3y ago
  [deleted]

lm28469 3y ago

In countries with proper social safety nets, health care, pensions, paid vacations, parental leaves, &c. this isn't felt the same way. Many countries with strong family values have none of this bullshit mentality either, it's perfectly possible to have a family and look after generations and have an healthy relationship with work and money. If anything money tear families apart more easily than they get them together

ehnto 3y ago

I have decided not to have kids (for clear cut personal reasons) and I find myself bouncing back and forth between wanting to amass some nest egg and just spending it all on life enjoyment. I also bounce back and forth between full time work and part time for the same reasons. I am always much happier and healthier during part time work, but it isn't quite enough money to fully participate in the society I live in.

seer 3y ago

Hmm, maybe I’m a “troubled country” offspring but my generation almost universally started from scratch or close to it. The only thing my parents managed to do for me was get me a PC, at the expense of things like clothes or even food - turned out quite the return on investment for me and them. But the point is that a lot of people around me started with very little and I’ve not seen much of a difference in their fortunes, sure having stability and initial capital gives you more options, but the quality of life - the elusive “happiness” was mostly tangential to that.

dukeyukey 3y ago

It is a cultural thing, but really it's a poor country cultural thing. There's kinda an unspoken assumption in much of the rich world that economic success isn't an individual thing, but a country-wide thing. That even if you dob't find economic success, the country will keep growing, the citizens will get wealthier, and your children will be better off than you are. In countries that either don't experience economic growth (or have only found it recently e.g. India and China), you get what you describe. (Obviously this isn't a set-in-stone thing, but the general pattern holds)

lukego 3y ago

I'm a parent of young kids in Scandinavia. The way I see it is that I mostly work and earn money for my own personal satisfaction. It's a selfish and egotistical activity but important for my own mental health. I need to be careful that it doesn't interfere with my responsibility to raise independent kids who don't want or need money from me. This takes time and energy to make sure they can make the most of the social infrastructure available to them e.g. their school. I'm very restrained in how I spend money for private consumption out of concern for setting an example that's unproductive e.g. making the kids feel pressure to earn a lot of money to sustain a lifestyle of luxury.

megous 3y ago

> One thing I realized is that if you don't work hard and generate wealth, your next generation of family won't enjoy the life that you had, as wealth compounds really quickly and not accumulating makes generations start from scratch. Except when it doesn't, so my parents went through high inflation in 90's (~10% or more every year for a decade) and their parents through monetary reform in 1953, which saw savings "re-calculated" by communist government order anywhere from 1:5 to 1:50. And that's not nearly even the craziest country out there when it comes to inflation and monetary machinations of the ruling class.

refurb 3y ago

> if you don't work hard and generate wealth, your next generation of family won't enjoy the life that you had This seems like a very upper-middle class mentality. The vast majority of people don't ever pass on wealth. Hell, go back 30 years and getting an inheritance was something the ultra-wealthy only did.

ejb999 3y ago
the vast majority of people don't, but I would say close to 100% of parents wish they could. What parent doesn't want their kids to be at least equal to, if not better off then they were?
- JohnFen 3y ago
  Every parent wants this, but how do you define "better off"? I won't be handing a large pile of cash to my children, mostly because to me, them being "better off" means that they are able to build the lives they want. When I look at families where the parents gave their kids a large amount of wealth, it seems rare that the kids have been better off for it.

jaybrendansmith 3y ago

It's definitely a result of growing up poor. If you've grown up poor, you've been denied things your entire life. You grow up with a deep sense of financial insecurity, a very valid sense of insecurity, because you know how easy it is all to lose, and you've seen it happen. This puts you in a headspace where no matter how successful you become, you cannot enjoy yourself during the day without this nagging feeling that you need to work and be productive. This is a great help initially, but I believe it does make it difficult to slow down, enjoy life, even if you're quite comfortable when you retire.

JohnFen 3y ago
That's not inevitable, though. I grew up dirt poor, but it didn't instill such a sense of financial insecurity in me. What it taught me was that you don't need much money to live a happy and fulfilling life. That has been a strength in my career and one of the keys to my success: I don't need to sacrifice any more than I'm willing to in order to be successful, and I can stand firm for those things that are important to me, precisely because I can walk away from any job without disaster.

pie420 3y ago

why would you want to curse your next generation with inherited wealth? Wouldn't you rather they learn how to work hard from you and to earn their living on their own?

ryandrake 3y ago
Anyone with a large inheritance that they consider a "curse" please feel free to send me that curse. I accept PayPal, Venmo, Bitcoin and I'll even do an ACH transfer. Email in profile.
deleted 3y ago
[deleted]