So, the TL;DR version of this is: we stopped using CouchDB because it sucked, but we took all the things that made it great, and shoe-horned them in to MySQL, w

So, the TL;DR version of this is: we stopped using CouchDB because it sucked, but we took all the things that made it great, and shoe-horned them in to MySQL, while negating using anything that an RDBMS is designed for, like joins...