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I’m so addicted to the internet that when I block social media, I find I get quite the similar fix from work Slack. Like browsing channels I have no business be

I’m so addicted to the internet that when I block social media, I find I get quite the similar fix from work Slack. Like browsing channels I have no business being a part of and constantly checking for validation of my comments via emoji reactions. Does anyone know of ways to be a successful work-from-home knowledge worker while also locking down Slack to not be another slot machine?? Does anyone else feel conflicted about the internet as both a means to a comfortable/lucretive career but also the ultimate drug? I’ve thought of only allowing Slack for 10 min each hour to make it more like an IV drop of info, but what happens when I actually need to DM in real time? meta P.S. I’m refreshing this and reading the replies — what a rush! So much more rewarding than what I should be doing. :)

wahnfrieden 3y ago
Only check it on a schedule, keep it closed, and turn off all notifications
- hoherd 3y ago
  Keeping it closed is such a sobering experience. Sometimes I will close Slack to make an effort to get into focus mode, and run `sleep 3600 && open /Applications/Slack.app` to make sure I'm not leaving my coworkers hanging forever, but also let me get some time boxed focus time in.
- data_ders 3y ago
  If knowledge were the only requirement, everyone would have six-pack abs and millions in the bank? I agree that your suggestion is rational, but the article brings up addiction and lack of control which I feel describes me. I’d love a “just block it”, escape hatch of a solution but maybe I’m SOL and have to learn mindfulness
  - wahnfrieden 3y ago
    One actionable thing is to organize your department and more widely to accept more async style communication and non-urgent/urgent style communications where you can comfortably disconnect without fear of missing out on something urgent
- the_af 3y ago
  > "Only check it on a schedule, keep it closed, and turn off all notifications"" Not possible at "remote first" workplaces.
  - wahnfrieden 3y ago
    Organize your peers to make it possible
    - the_af 3y ago
      Impossible with 300+ people in the org, and the expectation that everyone is available during work hours. It's best to assume that not every workplace functions in a way compatible with this universal "let's turn off Slack and only check it once an hour" scenario. Also, these decisions cannot be made on an individual basis -- that's the best way to get fired -- but everyone else must be on board, at least your immediate peers. If you're not their boss, and they don't see the benefit, this will gain no traction. The reality is that no, not everyone can remove Slack notifications and only check it once an hour or whatever.
      - q3k 3y ago
        Try it. When someone complains you can always go back. But they probably won't. It's the same with bullshit meetings. Just decline the invitation and you'll be surprised how little anyone will usually care.
        the_af 3y ago
        No, I cannot "try it", it goes against official company policy. I will not risk my job on random advice from people working in a different country and for a different company. Is it so hard to accept that "universal" advice is seldom universal, and that your circumstances may not apply to everyone?
luplex 3y ago
Start meditating, improve your sleep and work out. I find this improves my willpower whenever I do it.
- lynx23 3y ago
  You forgot to mention celebacy :-) "Workout improves your willpower" sounds a lot like a 90 year old thing.
  - shigawire 3y ago
    Endorphins are real.
hermitdev 3y ago
My new job we use Teams (which sucks), but has configurable quiet-hours. I have mine set to only notify my phone between 7a-7p, and only when I'm not active on the desktop. Helps quite a bit, except I do sometimes miss notifications. So it goes. If it's _that_ important, they'll call.
- swozey 3y ago
  7a-7p is a very long window to get slack notifications. I'd tell an eng to cut it to 9a-430pm or something if I heard they did that (assuming a usual 8-5 / 9-5ish). I never acknowledge any slack message before 9am my time. I did that at one company and realized how absolutely miserable it would make me when I was getting dressed in the morning to see some fire going on or request or anything work related before I was "on," even if I wasn't really involved. Gotta keep my mornings pure and innocent now.
hluska 3y ago
You’ve gotten some great advice! Running long distances works really well for me. There’s a neat thing about running. Humans are really good at it provided we can focus on what we’re doing and maintain a pace. Focus is hard in the modern world but when you lose that focus, your lungs will tell you right away. Work is the same thing. We really don’t want to sprint through the tape and bonk when we’re 20% through. Instead, we want to find a pace, focus and hold it.
bloqs 3y ago
Best change I made was to totally restrict all phone and technology usage entirely (I mean entirely) for the first hour of the day. At that point I only handle direct personal comms like time sensitive texts, and don't use anything other than directly work output related tech for the following two hours. My ability to focus skyrocketed.
garciasn 3y ago
I made a conscious decision to cut all social out of my life during the 2016 election. Since then I have done more and more to curtail my use, including setting aside time for non-electronic time: vinyl music listening, real book reading (I have never been an ebook fan), tabletop/card games, and/or puzzles. I set specific times of day when I will allow electronics and I have disabled notifications from work-necessary apps outside of work hours and silenced notifications from all apps except from those folks I’ve explicitly allowed (my elderly parents and kids). I have silenced notifications from everyone else, always. You have to be diligent and find alternatives to fill your time. I recently started seeing someone new after a divorce. She is amazed at how “disconnected” and “relaxed” my lifestyle is compared to others. We don’t fill our days with ‘stuff’, outside the home or electronic in nature, opting for purposeful downtime that allows for quiet, creativity, and relaxation from the mandatory parts of our lives. You can get there. Just think of the life you would prefer and make time and take meaningful and small, incremental steps toward it. Good luck.
joombaga 3y ago
I always appear offline, and only open it a few times a day, or when needed to send a message or start real-time collaboration. Ideally I'd always appear online, but there is no way to do that with Slack. Basically I don't want my perceived presence to be a signal for others to message or avoid messaging me. I've explained my usage to my team, and expressed a preference for scheduled synchronous communication over asynchronous communication.
amarant 3y ago
This might be controversial, but I've found that micro-dosing psilocybin removes the urge of such distractions, and allows me to focus on what needs to be done. I've been told I might have undiagnosed ADHD tho, not sure if relevant. Anyway, YMMV, but it could be worth a shot! Probably a good idea to combine with exercise and/or mindfulness exercises.
- reaperman 3y ago
  Also for those in your position: - Exercise, strength training is great but always include 30+ min of cardio at least once per day. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neurobiological_effects_of_physical_exercise https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neurobiological_effects_of_p... - Diet, vitamins/minerals. Magnesium is particularly important. Making first meal of the day high-protein tends to be helpful. - Sleep. Generally most improved by exercise. - Caffeine. Depending on your neurological phenotype, may be very helpful or may be very counterproductive. - Other supplements. Many of the anti-depressive supplements like Huperzine, Ashwaganda, etc. can be double-edged swords (work well at first then backfire). Some precursors like Phenylethylamine, L-Dopa, 5-HTP, etc. can have profound effects similar to prescription drugs, though all tend to have very short half-lives. I'd honestly lump most of these in with "prescription drugs" in terms of potential for large effects and major side effects. If you're skipping ahead to illegal (in most jurisdictions) drugs like psilocybin, you may also consider all the prescription options for anything that affects the dopamine or serotonin systems. Everyone is different and most drugs are net-negatives (sometimes in dramatic life-altering ways), so it often requires a lot of patience and effort to go through all of them until you find what "works" for you.
- Almondsetat 3y ago
  And what happens when you don't have access to the drug?
  - buildsjets 3y ago
    As long as he has access to Uncle Ben's instant rice, he will have access to his medication.
  - 3y ago
Aurornis 3y ago
You won't get very far by only playing whack-a-mole with negative behaviors. You have to start introducing deliberate, positive behaviors. Structure your home, workspace, and workday around what you choose to be doing. The little tricks to limit things and set timers can help, but the root problem is that you're describing yourself as being on autopilot: You get magnetically pulled to the next time waster. Work on being more deliberate in your choices. Fill your time with things that provide a sense of accomplishment and remind yourself throughout the day what the goal is. If it helps, write the goal out on sticky notes and put it on your monitor, then review it throughout the day. When you're tired and need a break, get away from the computer. Go for a walk or just stretch. Don't let your autopilot draw you back into the default easy time waster yet again. Create an array of positive activities to fill your time with so that you have more things to choose from, not just another round of scrolling something on a screen.
- reaperman 3y ago
  Yeah this is probably the most true thing in this stack. You cannot "un-learn" something, including bad habits. Once you've learned something, it's part of your brain. You can only build a different pathway and strengthen it so that it becomes the default, and then the old habit/learning will slowly atrophy and fade away -- but it never completely goes away. Positive reinforcement is the only way to train yourself new complex behaviors. Preferably using back-chaining for new environments. To reprogram existing behaviors you need to find the points where the "wrong" behavior is triggered and identify something that always occurs just before that trigger point. Then program/train yourself to do the new behavior based on the preceding trigger. That way you start down the path of the new desired behavior before the old undesired behavior gets triggered. Eventually it will atrophy and rarely get triggered any more (but still sometimes). We share >80% of our DNA with any other arbitrary mammal, so you can use any book on dog training for this. I recommend Sophia Yin.
- 331c8c71 3y ago
  I think the site and app blockers, timers etc. can be very helpful in the transition and in forming/keeping better habits. But those are just _tools_ and not the _goals_ so I agree hundred percent with your main message.
chezui 3y ago
Biggest for me was realizing this behavior is rooted in escaping discomfort and boredom. When I was writing my thesis I would go into a ton of internet "research" rabbit holes like bushcrafting or electronic music production or video games but after I defended, I found that these things no longer have much appeal to me, something that I surfed the internet for obsessively seems boring now. Becoming comfortable with discomfort was huge -- the thing that I'm avoiding is probably the thing I need to do and will feel great afterwards. Sometimes the anxiety is high and I find working with another person helps, either sitting beside them or actively. In the WFH era I found FocusMate to be super helpful, you pair with another person and share what you plan to do to in that time block via video chat and then go on mute and check in after the session to see how much progress you've made. I find this alleviates a lot of anxiety and having a block of time where you verbalize your goals makes it manageable. You can try for free and do up to 3 sessions per week. I did it and found it helpful so I bought the year subscription. Here's my referral link: www.focusmate.com/?fmreferral=Tj3Vcqqaei Or if you don't want to use that just www.focusmate.com
lynx23 3y ago
It sounds like you need to work on your self control. I think that is not really related to a specific compusive behaviour like too much screen time. Its a personality trait people affected by need to work on to get more peace. The internet is just a way to vent, prior to that, you'd have found other things to compulsively do.
jyunwai 3y ago
Read books about habit formation and apply the ideas about identifying a trigger to a habit, and altering the response. Most importantly, you can consider identifying and addressing the emotional motivation behind the habit. I’m a fan of BJ Fogg’s “Tiny Habits” as the book includes memorable summary diagrams, and the author is credible as an active researcher (his work was cited in the lectures of a university course I later took, after reading his book on my own). Alternative books are James Clear’s “Atomic Habits” (which cites BJ Fogg’s work) and Charles Duhigg’s “The Power of Habit.” There is a lot of overlap between the ideas of each book, so you can’t go wrong, though I found that BJ Fogg’s book was the most concise. The most relevant idea from Fogg’s book is that behaviour is a function of motivation, ability to do a behaviour, and exposure to prompts for the behaviour. From a summary of his book [1]: “B=MAP considers that there are 3 key factors that need to be present for any behaviour (B) to occur: motivation (M), ability (A), and prompts (P). The model proposes that when these three elements are present at any given time, the person is pushed above the ‘threshold’ for action to do the behaviour.” It sounds like you’ve already thoroughly attempted to change the habit by reducing your ability to engage in the behaviour (via blocking social media). Fogg, in his chapter on changing a habit, strongly recommends addressing the motivational aspect behind the behaviour. You can consider the question: what is it that motivates you to check for emoji reactions? For example, Fogg discusses how a person fixed a sugar consumption habit once she identified that it was a response to grief from losing a loved one, and addressed her grief in a healthier way—this may or may not be relevant to you. Prompts are also important (via asking yourself: “what prompts the behaviour to check social media?”), as Fogg also recommends using them as a starting point to change your response to a healthier alternative. But he emphasizes the importance of focusing on the motivational aspect, as he wrote that it would not have been enough for the person with the sugar consumption habit to simply replace sugar with a healthier alternative like celery—the motivational aspect was the most important for her case. [1] https://www.habitweekly.com/models-frameworks/the-fogg-model https://www.habitweekly.com/models-frameworks/the-fogg-model
cloverich 3y ago
Agree w/ other comment you need to focus on positive replacement rather than negative enforcement. This is how I'm viewing my use of social media now: I'm basically just lonely. Older and in a new city, few friends and even rarer social contact, outside of (healthy) family life. Social media is my only connection to professionals and other like minded people outside of work, and if I'm not getting much social benefit at work, that's all there is. So goal is not to eliminate social media, but to recognize why I'm doing it, and look for real-world social (or other constructive) ways of pushing it out.
imiric 3y ago
> I’m so addicted to the internet that when I block social media, I find I get quite the similar fix from work Slack. Like browsing channels I have no business being a part of and constantly checking for validation of my comments via emoji reactions. Seeking validation from others is very human, and many people do that in real life as well. The difference with the digital realm is that the response is represented as emojis on your screen, so it gives you something direct to focus on. In real life the response requires interpretation, social cues, etc., and is not as immediate. If you work remotely then don't feel so stressed about this behavior. Tools like Slack can be a huge distraction, so you can try disabling notifications when you want to focus on work. Just like you blocked social media, you can reserve specific timeslots to check Slack. I'm sure your coworkers would understand, as they likely also feel the same way. At the end of the day, like any harmful habit, you have to break it with willpower and sometimes force, but this is manageable with digital tools. You're not _physically_ addicted to this.
slothtrop 3y ago
You have to deliberately make time for, and schedule, other activities away from your machine. Otherwise your idle time on the machine will just be spent on similar cheap thrills that are either glorified social media or feeds. I walk, read books, exercise, cook, and spend social time with others. If I'm not exhausted I'll also practice my instrument and write. Eventually you won't have to think about it too much just by avoiding excess screen-time, but until such a point, owing to habit and conditioning, one feels very lost going without.
JohnBooty 3y ago
Does anyone else feel conflicted about the internet as both a means to a comfortable/lucretive career but also the ultimate drug? yeah. it's like, hey, the only thing i'm good at (software engineering) is intimately tied to an always-on connection to an infinite distraction machine i mean obviously i mitigate it as much as possible (blocking sites, etc) but daaaaaaaamn. what a fundamentally tricky tension.
- AbstractH24 3y ago
  It's interesting; I'd never say that about chefs or folks in the restaurant industry. Plenty of other unhealthy habits in that line of work, don't get me wrong. But little association between the pleasures of food and making the food.
  - JohnBooty 3y ago
    Yeah in most restaurants you can't just start randomly eating food, in the way that you can just start randomly surfin' tha web in software engineering.
rightbyte 3y ago
> I’m so addicted to the internet that when I block social media, I find I get quite the similar fix from work Slack. Install "LeechBlock" in Firefox and "AppBlock" for apps. Block Reddit, Facebook, Twitter, CNN or whatever bad habit feedscrolling sites you use. Limit it to like 2200-2300 in the beginning and then just set a total ban after one or two weeks. It helped me alot. It was ridiculous how I had like muscle memory to open these things for no reason at all, all the time. I noticed first after I got the block message I set myself. After a month or two the bad habit was gone. Reddit got some third party mirrors for specific threads I want to read in search results (with a clunky high bar to reach) and there are plenty of alternatives to CNN. Etc.
- matsemann 3y ago
  I used leechblock when writing my thesis in a period of heavy procrastination. It was quite mind-opening how often it would block me from just zoning out and go to a webpage and start scrolling. Leechblock allowed me to just press "visit anyway", but just having that short "uh oh" moment let me know I was mindlessly doing something without even thinking about it. Like checking the front page of HN for the fifth time that hour.
- ssgodderidge 3y ago
  For those who use TamperMonkey[0], here's a basic script [1] I wrote to replace HTML on matching URL's with your own message. [0]: https://www.tampermonkey.net/ https://www.tampermonkey.net/ [1]: https://gist.github.com/stephengodderidge/df3b33b92bb3eeb2f36fd69a6e721448 https://gist.github.com/stephengodderidge/df3b33b92bb3eeb2f3...
AbstractH24 3y ago
> meta P.S. I’m refreshing this and reading the replies — what a rush! So much more rewarding than what I should be doing. :) I always find a bit of humor in discussions such as these on social media. Glad you acknowledge it.

wahnfrieden 3y ago

Only check it on a schedule, keep it closed, and turn off all notifications

hoherd 3y ago
Keeping it closed is such a sobering experience. Sometimes I will close Slack to make an effort to get into focus mode, and run `sleep 3600 && open /Applications/Slack.app` to make sure I'm not leaving my coworkers hanging forever, but also let me get some time boxed focus time in.
data_ders 3y ago
If knowledge were the only requirement, everyone would have six-pack abs and millions in the bank? I agree that your suggestion is rational, but the article brings up addiction and lack of control which I feel describes me. I’d love a “just block it”, escape hatch of a solution but maybe I’m SOL and have to learn mindfulness
- wahnfrieden 3y ago
  One actionable thing is to organize your department and more widely to accept more async style communication and non-urgent/urgent style communications where you can comfortably disconnect without fear of missing out on something urgent
the_af 3y ago
> "Only check it on a schedule, keep it closed, and turn off all notifications"" Not possible at "remote first" workplaces.
- wahnfrieden 3y ago
  Organize your peers to make it possible
  - the_af 3y ago
    Impossible with 300+ people in the org, and the expectation that everyone is available during work hours. It's best to assume that not every workplace functions in a way compatible with this universal "let's turn off Slack and only check it once an hour" scenario. Also, these decisions cannot be made on an individual basis -- that's the best way to get fired -- but everyone else must be on board, at least your immediate peers. If you're not their boss, and they don't see the benefit, this will gain no traction. The reality is that no, not everyone can remove Slack notifications and only check it once an hour or whatever.
    - q3k 3y ago
      Try it. When someone complains you can always go back. But they probably won't. It's the same with bullshit meetings. Just decline the invitation and you'll be surprised how little anyone will usually care.
      - the_af 3y ago
        No, I cannot "try it", it goes against official company policy. I will not risk my job on random advice from people working in a different country and for a different company. Is it so hard to accept that "universal" advice is seldom universal, and that your circumstances may not apply to everyone?

luplex 3y ago

Start meditating, improve your sleep and work out. I find this improves my willpower whenever I do it.

lynx23 3y ago
You forgot to mention celebacy :-) "Workout improves your willpower" sounds a lot like a 90 year old thing.
- shigawire 3y ago
  Endorphins are real.

hermitdev 3y ago

My new job we use Teams (which sucks), but has configurable quiet-hours. I have mine set to only notify my phone between 7a-7p, and only when I'm not active on the desktop. Helps quite a bit, except I do sometimes miss notifications. So it goes. If it's _that_ important, they'll call.

swozey 3y ago
7a-7p is a very long window to get slack notifications. I'd tell an eng to cut it to 9a-430pm or something if I heard they did that (assuming a usual 8-5 / 9-5ish). I never acknowledge any slack message before 9am my time. I did that at one company and realized how absolutely miserable it would make me when I was getting dressed in the morning to see some fire going on or request or anything work related before I was "on," even if I wasn't really involved. Gotta keep my mornings pure and innocent now.

hluska 3y ago

You’ve gotten some great advice! Running long distances works really well for me. There’s a neat thing about running. Humans are really good at it provided we can focus on what we’re doing and maintain a pace. Focus is hard in the modern world but when you lose that focus, your lungs will tell you right away. Work is the same thing. We really don’t want to sprint through the tape and bonk when we’re 20% through. Instead, we want to find a pace, focus and hold it.

bloqs 3y ago

Best change I made was to totally restrict all phone and technology usage entirely (I mean entirely) for the first hour of the day. At that point I only handle direct personal comms like time sensitive texts, and don't use anything other than directly work output related tech for the following two hours. My ability to focus skyrocketed.

garciasn 3y ago

I made a conscious decision to cut all social out of my life during the 2016 election. Since then I have done more and more to curtail my use, including setting aside time for non-electronic time: vinyl music listening, real book reading (I have never been an ebook fan), tabletop/card games, and/or puzzles. I set specific times of day when I will allow electronics and I have disabled notifications from work-necessary apps outside of work hours and silenced notifications from all apps except from those folks I’ve explicitly allowed (my elderly parents and kids). I have silenced notifications from everyone else, always. You have to be diligent and find alternatives to fill your time. I recently started seeing someone new after a divorce. She is amazed at how “disconnected” and “relaxed” my lifestyle is compared to others. We don’t fill our days with ‘stuff’, outside the home or electronic in nature, opting for purposeful downtime that allows for quiet, creativity, and relaxation from the mandatory parts of our lives. You can get there. Just think of the life you would prefer and make time and take meaningful and small, incremental steps toward it. Good luck.

joombaga 3y ago

I always appear offline, and only open it a few times a day, or when needed to send a message or start real-time collaboration. Ideally I'd always appear online, but there is no way to do that with Slack. Basically I don't want my perceived presence to be a signal for others to message or avoid messaging me. I've explained my usage to my team, and expressed a preference for scheduled synchronous communication over asynchronous communication.

amarant 3y ago

This might be controversial, but I've found that micro-dosing psilocybin removes the urge of such distractions, and allows me to focus on what needs to be done. I've been told I might have undiagnosed ADHD tho, not sure if relevant. Anyway, YMMV, but it could be worth a shot! Probably a good idea to combine with exercise and/or mindfulness exercises.

reaperman 3y ago
Also for those in your position: - Exercise, strength training is great but always include 30+ min of cardio at least once per day. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neurobiological_effects_of_physical_exercise https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neurobiological_effects_of_p... - Diet, vitamins/minerals. Magnesium is particularly important. Making first meal of the day high-protein tends to be helpful. - Sleep. Generally most improved by exercise. - Caffeine. Depending on your neurological phenotype, may be very helpful or may be very counterproductive. - Other supplements. Many of the anti-depressive supplements like Huperzine, Ashwaganda, etc. can be double-edged swords (work well at first then backfire). Some precursors like Phenylethylamine, L-Dopa, 5-HTP, etc. can have profound effects similar to prescription drugs, though all tend to have very short half-lives. I'd honestly lump most of these in with "prescription drugs" in terms of potential for large effects and major side effects. If you're skipping ahead to illegal (in most jurisdictions) drugs like psilocybin, you may also consider all the prescription options for anything that affects the dopamine or serotonin systems. Everyone is different and most drugs are net-negatives (sometimes in dramatic life-altering ways), so it often requires a lot of patience and effort to go through all of them until you find what "works" for you.
Almondsetat 3y ago
And what happens when you don't have access to the drug?
- buildsjets 3y ago
  As long as he has access to Uncle Ben's instant rice, he will have access to his medication.
- 3y ago

Aurornis 3y ago

You won't get very far by only playing whack-a-mole with negative behaviors. You have to start introducing deliberate, positive behaviors. Structure your home, workspace, and workday around what you choose to be doing. The little tricks to limit things and set timers can help, but the root problem is that you're describing yourself as being on autopilot: You get magnetically pulled to the next time waster. Work on being more deliberate in your choices. Fill your time with things that provide a sense of accomplishment and remind yourself throughout the day what the goal is. If it helps, write the goal out on sticky notes and put it on your monitor, then review it throughout the day. When you're tired and need a break, get away from the computer. Go for a walk or just stretch. Don't let your autopilot draw you back into the default easy time waster yet again. Create an array of positive activities to fill your time with so that you have more things to choose from, not just another round of scrolling something on a screen.

reaperman 3y ago
Yeah this is probably the most true thing in this stack. You cannot "un-learn" something, including bad habits. Once you've learned something, it's part of your brain. You can only build a different pathway and strengthen it so that it becomes the default, and then the old habit/learning will slowly atrophy and fade away -- but it never completely goes away. Positive reinforcement is the only way to train yourself new complex behaviors. Preferably using back-chaining for new environments. To reprogram existing behaviors you need to find the points where the "wrong" behavior is triggered and identify something that always occurs just before that trigger point. Then program/train yourself to do the new behavior based on the preceding trigger. That way you start down the path of the new desired behavior before the old undesired behavior gets triggered. Eventually it will atrophy and rarely get triggered any more (but still sometimes). We share >80% of our DNA with any other arbitrary mammal, so you can use any book on dog training for this. I recommend Sophia Yin.
331c8c71 3y ago
I think the site and app blockers, timers etc. can be very helpful in the transition and in forming/keeping better habits. But those are just _tools_ and not the _goals_ so I agree hundred percent with your main message.

chezui 3y ago

Biggest for me was realizing this behavior is rooted in escaping discomfort and boredom. When I was writing my thesis I would go into a ton of internet "research" rabbit holes like bushcrafting or electronic music production or video games but after I defended, I found that these things no longer have much appeal to me, something that I surfed the internet for obsessively seems boring now. Becoming comfortable with discomfort was huge -- the thing that I'm avoiding is probably the thing I need to do and will feel great afterwards. Sometimes the anxiety is high and I find working with another person helps, either sitting beside them or actively. In the WFH era I found FocusMate to be super helpful, you pair with another person and share what you plan to do to in that time block via video chat and then go on mute and check in after the session to see how much progress you've made. I find this alleviates a lot of anxiety and having a block of time where you verbalize your goals makes it manageable. You can try for free and do up to 3 sessions per week. I did it and found it helpful so I bought the year subscription. Here's my referral link: www.focusmate.com/?fmreferral=Tj3Vcqqaei Or if you don't want to use that just www.focusmate.com

lynx23 3y ago

It sounds like you need to work on your self control. I think that is not really related to a specific compusive behaviour like too much screen time. Its a personality trait people affected by need to work on to get more peace. The internet is just a way to vent, prior to that, you'd have found other things to compulsively do.

jyunwai 3y ago

Read books about habit formation and apply the ideas about identifying a trigger to a habit, and altering the response. Most importantly, you can consider identifying and addressing the emotional motivation behind the habit. I’m a fan of BJ Fogg’s “Tiny Habits” as the book includes memorable summary diagrams, and the author is credible as an active researcher (his work was cited in the lectures of a university course I later took, after reading his book on my own). Alternative books are James Clear’s “Atomic Habits” (which cites BJ Fogg’s work) and Charles Duhigg’s “The Power of Habit.” There is a lot of overlap between the ideas of each book, so you can’t go wrong, though I found that BJ Fogg’s book was the most concise. The most relevant idea from Fogg’s book is that behaviour is a function of motivation, ability to do a behaviour, and exposure to prompts for the behaviour. From a summary of his book [1]: “B=MAP considers that there are 3 key factors that need to be present for any behaviour (B) to occur: motivation (M), ability (A), and prompts (P). The model proposes that when these three elements are present at any given time, the person is pushed above the ‘threshold’ for action to do the behaviour.” It sounds like you’ve already thoroughly attempted to change the habit by reducing your ability to engage in the behaviour (via blocking social media). Fogg, in his chapter on changing a habit, strongly recommends addressing the motivational aspect behind the behaviour. You can consider the question: what is it that motivates you to check for emoji reactions? For example, Fogg discusses how a person fixed a sugar consumption habit once she identified that it was a response to grief from losing a loved one, and addressed her grief in a healthier way—this may or may not be relevant to you. Prompts are also important (via asking yourself: “what prompts the behaviour to check social media?”), as Fogg also recommends using them as a starting point to change your response to a healthier alternative. But he emphasizes the importance of focusing on the motivational aspect, as he wrote that it would not have been enough for the person with the sugar consumption habit to simply replace sugar with a healthier alternative like celery—the motivational aspect was the most important for her case. [1] https://www.habitweekly.com/models-frameworks/the-fogg-model https://www.habitweekly.com/models-frameworks/the-fogg-model

cloverich 3y ago

Agree w/ other comment you need to focus on positive replacement rather than negative enforcement. This is how I'm viewing my use of social media now: I'm basically just lonely. Older and in a new city, few friends and even rarer social contact, outside of (healthy) family life. Social media is my only connection to professionals and other like minded people outside of work, and if I'm not getting much social benefit at work, that's all there is. So goal is not to eliminate social media, but to recognize why I'm doing it, and look for real-world social (or other constructive) ways of pushing it out.

imiric 3y ago

> I’m so addicted to the internet that when I block social media, I find I get quite the similar fix from work Slack. Like browsing channels I have no business being a part of and constantly checking for validation of my comments via emoji reactions. Seeking validation from others is very human, and many people do that in real life as well. The difference with the digital realm is that the response is represented as emojis on your screen, so it gives you something direct to focus on. In real life the response requires interpretation, social cues, etc., and is not as immediate. If you work remotely then don't feel so stressed about this behavior. Tools like Slack can be a huge distraction, so you can try disabling notifications when you want to focus on work. Just like you blocked social media, you can reserve specific timeslots to check Slack. I'm sure your coworkers would understand, as they likely also feel the same way. At the end of the day, like any harmful habit, you have to break it with willpower and sometimes force, but this is manageable with digital tools. You're not _physically_ addicted to this.

slothtrop 3y ago

You have to deliberately make time for, and schedule, other activities away from your machine. Otherwise your idle time on the machine will just be spent on similar cheap thrills that are either glorified social media or feeds. I walk, read books, exercise, cook, and spend social time with others. If I'm not exhausted I'll also practice my instrument and write. Eventually you won't have to think about it too much just by avoiding excess screen-time, but until such a point, owing to habit and conditioning, one feels very lost going without.

JohnBooty 3y ago

Does anyone else feel conflicted about the internet as both a means to a comfortable/lucretive career but also the ultimate drug? yeah. it's like, hey, the only thing i'm good at (software engineering) is intimately tied to an always-on connection to an infinite distraction machine i mean obviously i mitigate it as much as possible (blocking sites, etc) but daaaaaaaamn. what a fundamentally tricky tension.

AbstractH24 3y ago
It's interesting; I'd never say that about chefs or folks in the restaurant industry. Plenty of other unhealthy habits in that line of work, don't get me wrong. But little association between the pleasures of food and making the food.
- JohnBooty 3y ago
  Yeah in most restaurants you can't just start randomly eating food, in the way that you can just start randomly surfin' tha web in software engineering.

rightbyte 3y ago

> I’m so addicted to the internet that when I block social media, I find I get quite the similar fix from work Slack. Install "LeechBlock" in Firefox and "AppBlock" for apps. Block Reddit, Facebook, Twitter, CNN or whatever bad habit feedscrolling sites you use. Limit it to like 2200-2300 in the beginning and then just set a total ban after one or two weeks. It helped me alot. It was ridiculous how I had like muscle memory to open these things for no reason at all, all the time. I noticed first after I got the block message I set myself. After a month or two the bad habit was gone. Reddit got some third party mirrors for specific threads I want to read in search results (with a clunky high bar to reach) and there are plenty of alternatives to CNN. Etc.

matsemann 3y ago
I used leechblock when writing my thesis in a period of heavy procrastination. It was quite mind-opening how often it would block me from just zoning out and go to a webpage and start scrolling. Leechblock allowed me to just press "visit anyway", but just having that short "uh oh" moment let me know I was mindlessly doing something without even thinking about it. Like checking the front page of HN for the fifth time that hour.
ssgodderidge 3y ago
For those who use TamperMonkey[0], here's a basic script [1] I wrote to replace HTML on matching URL's with your own message. [0]: https://www.tampermonkey.net/ https://www.tampermonkey.net/ [1]: https://gist.github.com/stephengodderidge/df3b33b92bb3eeb2f36fd69a6e721448 https://gist.github.com/stephengodderidge/df3b33b92bb3eeb2f3...

AbstractH24 3y ago

> meta P.S. I’m refreshing this and reading the replies — what a rush! So much more rewarding than what I should be doing. :) I always find a bit of humor in discussions such as these on social media. Glad you acknowledge it.