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This article demonstrates a fundamental misunderstanding of what teenagers are—language like "what teenagers today are offered instead", and "kids ... need more
by lolinder 3y ago
This article demonstrates a fundamental misunderstanding of what teenagers are—language like "what teenagers today are offered instead", and "kids ... need more, deserve more"—this is a mom who thinks that teenagers live in a world created for them by the adults and that the adults have failed them.
This is the opposite of my memory of being a teenager. Teenagers, as a rule, are actively seeking to define their identity independent of the adults around them. The subcultures of our teenagehood weren't carefully constructed extracurriculars that our parents prepared for us, they were formed organically by the kids themselves, and they were subcultures intentionally crafted to exclude the adults in our lives. My dad was big into football, so my brother and I went all-in on the nerd culture. My dad didn't get D&D and MTG and fantasy novels any more than this mom gets what her daughter is participating in, and that was part of the point.
Teenagers are kids who have hit the age where the modern, hovering parenting style completely falls apart. They're not living in your world anymore because their hormones are telling them it's time to forge their own path. It's time to begin to let go, not attempt to craft a better subculture scene for them.
- jvanderbot 3y agoBoth your interpretations support the premise of the article: subcultures are disappearing and we should pity those kids.
- Anotheroneagain 3y agoThey were carefully constructed by the adults around you, only not by your parents.
- silverquiet 3y agoI don't think I've ever really gotten the whole teenage rebellion thing; don't most people grow up and emulate the religion, politics, and lifestyle (education, career type, marriage preference, etc..) as their parents?
- Anotheroneagain 3y ago[flagged]
- whythre 3y agoI… what? Lead deficient? I know some people are iron deficient, but I have never heard of iron poisoning or suffering from lead deficiency.
- Anotheroneagain 3y ago[flagged]
- deleted 3y ago[deleted]
- jl6 3y agoRebellion can mean a lot of different things. Mostly it amounts to opposition in a fairly superficial sense. Different clothes, different haircut, different music, maybe some intentional bad choices... But although these things are high-visibility, they're not that fundamental to identity and culture. It's rare for kids to completely cut ties with the fundamentals (i.e. all the things you mention) of their parents, particularly now when kids are still dependent on their parents for longer into adulthood.
- SauciestGNU 3y agoFor me it was self-exploration and exploring the fringes of my identity using psychedelics and other drugs that my parents didn't particularly approve of. For some of my friends it was sexual identity (which was much more taboo than today). In general I think "rebellion" is the consequence of becoming a fully aware individual capable of independence from parents. Parents want to exert control over their teens, teens want to have agency over their lives, and the conflict between those two positions is framed as "rebellion".
- Anotheroneagain 3y ago[flagged]
- dihydro 3y agoElders have complained about the impetus of youth for longer than the boomers. "The young people of today think of nothing but themselves. They have no reverence for parents or old age. They are impatient of all restraint ... As for the girls, they are forward, immodest and unladylike in speech, behaviour and dress." - Peter the Hermit, 1274
- Anotheroneagain 3y agoThose quotes are made up, though I didn't mean it couldn't have happened before, but in recent history. It was obviously not expected then and their parents had no idea how to deal with it.
- pkoird 3y agoIf you think about it, teenage rebellion makes sense from an evolutionary perspective as it encourages a subgroup (teenagers) to explore outside whatever's the norm (aka adults). I wrote more about it in my blog post: https://praveshkoirala.com/2023/05/31/teenage-rebellion-is-just-wind/ https://praveshkoirala.com/2023/05/31/teenage-rebellion-is-j...