I'm not telling them how to act. Rather, I'm telling them what's preferred in my home. I don't like if people to smoke in my home, either. Or wear their shoes i

I'm not telling them how to act. Rather, I'm telling them what's preferred in my home. I don't like if people to smoke in my home, either. Or wear their shoes in my home. Someone could flatly refuse (some kids have), and I don't kick them out or anything. I don't appreciate it, but I'm not going to militantly enforce the rule. I just make my preferences known and try to explain them so it doesn't seem arbitrary. edit: I should add that if someone needs to be in touch with their kids or something, I really don't mind. I'll keep my phone on hand if I'm expecting an important call or I know my kids are out and might try to get in touch for a ride home or something. In those cases though, not using the phone for other reasons is still a known preference. That's good enough for me.