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> You forget the part where everyone who is single looking for a short term relationship is also looking for a long term relationship with the right person I d

> You forget the part where everyone who is single looking for a short term relationship is also looking for a long term relationship with the right person I disagree strongly with this statement. There are people looking for all sorts of things. And assuming this leads to much relationship mismatch and pain. The assumption that people who say they are looking for hookups or casual relationships are really just looking for the right person and I know better than them is not a good idea if I’m looking for a long term relationship. I think it’s important that people trust what others say and don’t try to project their own beliefs. Tinder is specifically made for hookups, per its own design. This is different from other sites that are specifically made for long term relationships (eg, eharmony, coffeemeetsbagel, etc). This doesn’t mean one is better than the other. Or that one type of person is better than others. Just that there are different people. And we shouldn’t assume they all people want the same things.

lazide 3y ago
It was originally spawned from Grindr, if I remember correctly. Which yeah…. Hah!
throwaway290 3y ago
We shouldn't assume people know what things they want. Evidence is to the contrary. > I think it’s important that people trust what others say and don’t try to project their own beliefs. Exactly. Saying tinder is for long term people or short term is projection. It'sa tool. You use it however you do.
- prepend 3y ago
  You can hammer in a nail with a screwdriver. They’re both tools. But I’m stupid and/or deluded if I’m hammering in nails all day with a screwdriver. It’s useful to use the right tool for the right job. Tinder is designed for short term hookups and more people use it for that than not. And that’s perfectly ok. Let people hookup if they want to. My point is that if your goal is long term relationships, you will likely have better luck using other tools designed for and more frequently used for that.
  - throwaway290 3y ago
    A hammer is for hammering objects. Where does it say it's for hammering nails? A dating app is for finding people who are looking/available. Where does it say it's for short term relationships? > My point is that if your goal is long term relationships, you will likely have better luck using other tools designed for and more frequently used for that. Thinking that using one dating app instead of another dating app is magically going to save you from your SO leaving you is maybe not the right mindset here. Finding soulmate is about exploration. But the apps are all the same and simply show people who are actually looking so you don't have to guess if it's okay to chat them up. Short or long, that most people themselves don't know (but they may think so) because it depends. Are you the kind who would not want to do the work and just assume because you met on the long term dating app you don't need to shower every day? etc. If they say up front they want a hookup then sure but I haven't met anyone like that.
    - lazide 3y ago
      Dating apps are nominally for 'hammering objects' in this example (not really, they're all a lot more like the framing hammer in the example below - but let's not digress too much.) Saying Tinder, specifically, isn't for hookups is a bit like buying a framing hammer and saying it isn't for driving nails. Or I guess, more appropriately, saying Tinder isn't for folks using hookups as a lure. Despite the textured face, specific head and handle size, and balance being expressly optimized for hitting framing nails all day every day. Can you use it for other purposes? Yes. But it really isn't made or optimized for that.
- lazide 3y ago
  Going to a bar and complaining that people want to drink is a bit silly though, isn’t it?

lazide 3y ago

It was originally spawned from Grindr, if I remember correctly. Which yeah…. Hah!

throwaway290 3y ago

We shouldn't assume people know what things they want. Evidence is to the contrary. > I think it’s important that people trust what others say and don’t try to project their own beliefs. Exactly. Saying tinder is for long term people or short term is projection. It'sa tool. You use it however you do.

prepend 3y ago
You can hammer in a nail with a screwdriver. They’re both tools. But I’m stupid and/or deluded if I’m hammering in nails all day with a screwdriver. It’s useful to use the right tool for the right job. Tinder is designed for short term hookups and more people use it for that than not. And that’s perfectly ok. Let people hookup if they want to. My point is that if your goal is long term relationships, you will likely have better luck using other tools designed for and more frequently used for that.
- throwaway290 3y ago
  A hammer is for hammering objects. Where does it say it's for hammering nails? A dating app is for finding people who are looking/available. Where does it say it's for short term relationships? > My point is that if your goal is long term relationships, you will likely have better luck using other tools designed for and more frequently used for that. Thinking that using one dating app instead of another dating app is magically going to save you from your SO leaving you is maybe not the right mindset here. Finding soulmate is about exploration. But the apps are all the same and simply show people who are actually looking so you don't have to guess if it's okay to chat them up. Short or long, that most people themselves don't know (but they may think so) because it depends. Are you the kind who would not want to do the work and just assume because you met on the long term dating app you don't need to shower every day? etc. If they say up front they want a hookup then sure but I haven't met anyone like that.
  - lazide 3y ago
    Dating apps are nominally for 'hammering objects' in this example (not really, they're all a lot more like the framing hammer in the example below - but let's not digress too much.) Saying Tinder, specifically, isn't for hookups is a bit like buying a framing hammer and saying it isn't for driving nails. Or I guess, more appropriately, saying Tinder isn't for folks using hookups as a lure. Despite the textured face, specific head and handle size, and balance being expressly optimized for hitting framing nails all day every day. Can you use it for other purposes? Yes. But it really isn't made or optimized for that.
lazide 3y ago
Going to a bar and complaining that people want to drink is a bit silly though, isn’t it?