When you get angry at your kids, after you deal with the situation, and after you calm down, think through what you were really angry about. Was it about your

When you get angry at your kids, after you deal with the situation, and after you calm down, think through what you were really angry about. Was it about your kids? Or was it about you? Let's say my kid is throwing a tantrum in a restaurant, and I get angry at them. Am I angry because I want to be the kind of parent whose kids behave? And now all these people in the restaurant think I'm not that kind of parent? And I'm angry because they now think less of me? That anger is wrong. I'm mad, not because my kid is doing something wrong per se, but because they're ruining my self-image. When I have that kind of anger, the problem is me - not my kid having a tantrum, but me. I'm not angry about my kid making a scene in the restaurant; I'm angry about my kid making a mess of my ego. The real problem is my ego and my selfishness. So when you're angry with your child, check yourself. See if that kind of thing is why you're angry. To the degree it is, you need to grow - not your child, but you. (Your child may also need to grow, but that's a separate issue.) And for what it's worth, those of us in the restaurant - at least those of us who have kids - aren't condemning your because your child is causing a scene. We've all been there. You have our sympathy and understanding, not our condemnation.