4 ms·

This is kind of true... It is extremely hard to stay calm in many situations having kids. In my opinion this has nothing to do with the ability to stay calm in

This is kind of true... It is extremely hard to stay calm in many situations having kids. In my opinion this has nothing to do with the ability to stay calm in general. It's more like long time of being stressed out that gets you there. Understanding that you are permanentely stressed out and taking the right measures (take time for yourself, don't take things to seriously, make everything a little game, children just don't WORK like adults - they are children, etc.) is most important. Becoming parents is a process. Most of this process is great and it enriches your life, but parts of it may be so hard, that you can't explain it to anyone without kids. The first child was kind of ok-ish in my memory :-) But: Imagine you have 2 little kids, both are sick, because one of them brought it in. They are not able to express their feelings by telling you what the problem is, they just cry the whole day and night. You and your partner are also getting sick, not as bad as your children, but you don't feel well. You can't ask for help, because there is a probability of infecting these persons. You don't sleep much for days and can't really rest. You are worried all the time, because your kids are really sick and you have to care about them, if it gets worse. In a situation like this, minor daily tasks will be major efforts and at some point you just break down. Not everything is as hard as this example, but usually having a toddler is energy-sapping all the time. At the same time it's a totally great experience.

mistermann 3y ago
It's possible that "It takes a village to raise a child" also applies to families.
- sandreas 3y ago
  Absolutely. There is a german book called "Erziehen ohne Schimpfen" (Parenting without scolding), which provided me deep insights into the behaviour of my children and my own behaviour in response to it. It is also a stated fact in this book that in "non-western" countries it is normal that a child is raised by the whole (extended) family (grandparents, uncle / aunt, brother sister, friends, etc.) which is a relieve for parents in general. It just does not help to punish or shout at your child in any way, in fact it makes things worse. However, in situations like I described above, it also helps to be more forgiving about your own behaviour, as long as you try your best to prevent these "breakdowns" and most important APOLOGIZE instead of just being ashamed. Nobody stays calm all the time.
  - mistermann 3y ago
    I'm suggesting collective attention/assistance for families may also be necessary to achieve certain outcomes (ie: reducing the number/magnitude of things people complain about all the time).

mistermann 3y ago

It's possible that "It takes a village to raise a child" also applies to families.

sandreas 3y ago
Absolutely. There is a german book called "Erziehen ohne Schimpfen" (Parenting without scolding), which provided me deep insights into the behaviour of my children and my own behaviour in response to it. It is also a stated fact in this book that in "non-western" countries it is normal that a child is raised by the whole (extended) family (grandparents, uncle / aunt, brother sister, friends, etc.) which is a relieve for parents in general. It just does not help to punish or shout at your child in any way, in fact it makes things worse. However, in situations like I described above, it also helps to be more forgiving about your own behaviour, as long as you try your best to prevent these "breakdowns" and most important APOLOGIZE instead of just being ashamed. Nobody stays calm all the time.
- mistermann 3y ago
  I'm suggesting collective attention/assistance for families may also be necessary to achieve certain outcomes (ie: reducing the number/magnitude of things people complain about all the time).