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I'd like to share my experience. I've lost 50lbs twice in the past decade and I'm currently losing them again. Hopefully the third time is a charm. What's diff

I'd like to share my experience. I've lost 50lbs twice in the past decade and I'm currently losing them again. Hopefully the third time is a charm. What's different now is that I've done a lot of self-reflection. I now realize I have an eating disorder driven by a dopamine response to tasty foods, but unlike other people, my inner thoughts are similar to addicts, I presume, where my brain is deciding to binge the food that triggered that reward until I get stomach pains, which then nullifies the dopamine reward, so only then I stop eating. I've also learned the signal I get when I've had enough to eat and learned to not ignore it. I've also realized that I stress eat, and particularly when I'm feeling down, probably to try to get temporary feelings of happiness as self-medication. Losing weight is fairly straightforward once you get the hang of it, but keeping it off is less so. That's the most difficult aspect to manage about my life: to try to avoid excessive stress and general periods of unhappiness, so that I don't start using food as a source of dopamine, but since a lot of stressors are external, I feel like they're outside of my control, so my general strategy as of late has been to replace the source of dopamine to not be food related. For example, exercising not only helps with losing weight, but it also curbs my appetite so I can fast during lunch without exercising much will power. More vigorous exercise induces runner's high, so it benefits both the efforts of losing the weight and the attempt to switch sources of feeling good. Lastly getting satisfaction from shipping code is a productive replacement for the satisfaction I get from eating foods. That one is more tough to implement because eating provides immediate gratification, while shipping projects is a long endeavor usually. To counter that, I set bite-sized (ha) coding/learning goals for myself that I can complete fairly fast. That keeps my mood up for a bit. Hopefully my experience will encourage others to reflect on their own reasons for gaining weight and try to address the root cause, not just the side-effect of increased weight.

las_balas_tres 3y ago
My relationship with food seems to mirror yours. You have some good advice on how to deal with it.
verticalscaler 3y ago
> exercising not only helps with losing weight Running and exercising are not efficient ways to lose weight despite what the fitness and wellness industries would have you believe. And ironically the more overweight you are the less efficient it is. Great way to fuck up your joints or waste countless hours sifting through bro science and researching equipment you don't need. It is great for keeping the weight off and enjoying life once you hit a certain point but should not be a chore as will power is finite and precious and at first you're spending it all on eating clean and walking and that is guaranteed to be enough over a long enough period. Push too hard and you'll stall. just be patient and extremely consistent instead. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Hacker's_Diet https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Hacker's_Diet If you can go for a walk for 1-2 hours a day, just simply walk your way out of the problem. And if you "can't afford" to walk for 1 hour every day your life is already in shambles and you're not in a position to make other changes before you sort this out. Eat clean. Walk. Be consistent. Be patient as it will take more than a year, the time delayed reward is the very crux of the matter. And don't stress, laugh more! Laughter is the best medicine buddy. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g5AixBKy7b4 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g5AixBKy7b4 Highly recommend watching Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia for Macs trajectory. The actor went from skinny to obese and back for a joke. Very best of luck.
- gchamonlive 3y ago
  I find that exercising in water basically nullifies all those joint stresses you mention. Swim or water gymnastics. The main issue with swimming that comes to mind is with shoulders because it uses a lot of rotations. > Eat clean. Walk. Be consistent. That is basically it, wellness must be approached on many different angles. I'd also add sleep better, drink the required amount of water, refrain from using screens past a couple of hours before going to bed. But also, if anyone is clinically overweight, in which case is it a medical issue, to rely on professionals for help. Psychologist/psychiatrist to manage anxiety, doctors to help identify and treat hormonal related imbalances, instructors to help you execute physical activities without injuring yourself, a down to earth nutritionist (not some random influencer on the web with over 20k followers) to help you eat consistently. I do realise that it is a lot to take in at once, but the thing is you can't do it at once. Start at some place, I'd recommend talking to a psychologist to come up with a plan that is tailored to your specific needs and habits. And then lean on the routine consistently and try to find comfort in the fact that you are in the process of getting better, effectively changing your relationship with everything you interact that gives you that dopamine boost.
littlecosmic 3y ago
I find if I am running frequently, the alternative source of feel-good chemicals makes bad food less attractive. I find this a little surprising as I would have thought I would crave bad food more. The only time I have been a normal weight has been when I am running and the exercise / less-craving combo worked well … while I kept the habit.
nlitened 3y ago
> my inner thoughts are similar to addicts This has been my realization as well. I've never experienced quitting smoking or drugs, so can't compare, but sugar withdrawals hit me HARD — it really made me reflect a lot. From what I've read, recovering heroin addicts never really "recover", they just consciously don't consume heroin. I now see overeating the same way, there's no "cure", there's lifelong maintenance. For me personally, eventually, carnivore diet has been a revelation and the only routine I can keep up without expending constant mental effort. It's impossible to overeat, and you feel amazing. As a result, you feel like shit on cheat days, so even though I still get to indulge in carbs from time to time, I don't feel the urge to continue eating them.
saiya-jin 3y ago
Seems to the only thing you need to change is to start doing some real sports(TM) instead of stuff you do just to lose weight. I mean sports that you will feel very bad for skipping, and stuff you can actually engage in few times a week. I'd recommend climbing for example (that's a serious gateway to permanent improvement of lifestyle for everybody I know including me, but its not panacea so other stuff may work for ya). That's a great way and first step to completely change yourself. That's the core of most weight loss - if you want permanent results, you need to do permanent change in your habits, no way to hack around this simple fact of life (if you don't count pussies like Musk lacking any serious impulse control who eat copious amount of diabetes medications because... that really seems like a great idea along term, just ask any senior doctor in private).
- Fire-Dragon-DoL 3y ago
  Unfortunately I have to disagree. I started going to the gym 6 times per week in august 2023, my muscles are in way better shape than before, my heart is great, but the biggest weight loss was still at the beginning from diet. It's a pain. I religiously go and alternate 3 HIIT sessions (shadow boxing/stationary bike) of 30 minutes, with strength training of 60 minutes (push, pull, legs). The very rare times I skip have been when my legs are overly tired (boxing, bike, legs + 40 minutes walking 5 days per week it's a lot for muscles). And yet, I'm struggling to lose the remaining weight. My hunger has increased with all the muscles, I am able not to gain weight only because I eat healthy, but the amount I eat increases. I can power through with will and a lot of water, but it's really hard. I thought I would solve with sport but I didn't. I'm in good shape, but I have more weight to lose, it's annoying.
  - mancerayder 3y ago
    Have you had your T levels checked? And done bloodwork to check nutrient levels? Low T can definitely limit the ability to be lean. Other factors - over training (6 times a week would be pushing it for me years ago, today is 3-4 max). Poor sleep. Poor diet (carbs, crappy over processed foods). Many many individual factors to consider. It's truly hard to generalize these things.
makeitdouble 3y ago
Great points. > to try to avoid excessive stress and general periods of unhappiness This of course easier said than done, but that has been my experience as well. Trying to lose fat, even in small amounts, was just a lost cause when everything else in my daily life is just stress upon stress, no time to cook, and the body always in emergency mode. And it made me really pissed at the "just meditate" or "just eat less and exercise more" crowd...it must work for some, but that's no magical advice. Losing a measly 5% of fat only happened after rethinking my life, changing job, and basically our daily life as a whole family.
Fire-Dragon-DoL 3y ago
What about lack of sleep? When I don't sleep enough, I go on a hunger frenzy and there is nothing I can do about it. It helps eating veggies, but I just keep eating
sn9 3y ago
Building a strength training habit in particular is useful in this context (and many others) because if you do start gaining weight again, you'll end up gaining muscular tissue which is more metabolically active and beneficial in many other ways.

las_balas_tres 3y ago

My relationship with food seems to mirror yours. You have some good advice on how to deal with it.

verticalscaler 3y ago

> exercising not only helps with losing weight Running and exercising are not efficient ways to lose weight despite what the fitness and wellness industries would have you believe. And ironically the more overweight you are the less efficient it is. Great way to fuck up your joints or waste countless hours sifting through bro science and researching equipment you don't need. It is great for keeping the weight off and enjoying life once you hit a certain point but should not be a chore as will power is finite and precious and at first you're spending it all on eating clean and walking and that is guaranteed to be enough over a long enough period. Push too hard and you'll stall. just be patient and extremely consistent instead. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Hacker's_Diet https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Hacker's_Diet If you can go for a walk for 1-2 hours a day, just simply walk your way out of the problem. And if you "can't afford" to walk for 1 hour every day your life is already in shambles and you're not in a position to make other changes before you sort this out. Eat clean. Walk. Be consistent. Be patient as it will take more than a year, the time delayed reward is the very crux of the matter. And don't stress, laugh more! Laughter is the best medicine buddy. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g5AixBKy7b4 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g5AixBKy7b4 Highly recommend watching Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia for Macs trajectory. The actor went from skinny to obese and back for a joke. Very best of luck.

gchamonlive 3y ago
I find that exercising in water basically nullifies all those joint stresses you mention. Swim or water gymnastics. The main issue with swimming that comes to mind is with shoulders because it uses a lot of rotations. > Eat clean. Walk. Be consistent. That is basically it, wellness must be approached on many different angles. I'd also add sleep better, drink the required amount of water, refrain from using screens past a couple of hours before going to bed. But also, if anyone is clinically overweight, in which case is it a medical issue, to rely on professionals for help. Psychologist/psychiatrist to manage anxiety, doctors to help identify and treat hormonal related imbalances, instructors to help you execute physical activities without injuring yourself, a down to earth nutritionist (not some random influencer on the web with over 20k followers) to help you eat consistently. I do realise that it is a lot to take in at once, but the thing is you can't do it at once. Start at some place, I'd recommend talking to a psychologist to come up with a plan that is tailored to your specific needs and habits. And then lean on the routine consistently and try to find comfort in the fact that you are in the process of getting better, effectively changing your relationship with everything you interact that gives you that dopamine boost.

littlecosmic 3y ago

I find if I am running frequently, the alternative source of feel-good chemicals makes bad food less attractive. I find this a little surprising as I would have thought I would crave bad food more. The only time I have been a normal weight has been when I am running and the exercise / less-craving combo worked well … while I kept the habit.

nlitened 3y ago

> my inner thoughts are similar to addicts This has been my realization as well. I've never experienced quitting smoking or drugs, so can't compare, but sugar withdrawals hit me HARD — it really made me reflect a lot. From what I've read, recovering heroin addicts never really "recover", they just consciously don't consume heroin. I now see overeating the same way, there's no "cure", there's lifelong maintenance. For me personally, eventually, carnivore diet has been a revelation and the only routine I can keep up without expending constant mental effort. It's impossible to overeat, and you feel amazing. As a result, you feel like shit on cheat days, so even though I still get to indulge in carbs from time to time, I don't feel the urge to continue eating them.

saiya-jin 3y ago

Seems to the only thing you need to change is to start doing some real sports(TM) instead of stuff you do just to lose weight. I mean sports that you will feel very bad for skipping, and stuff you can actually engage in few times a week. I'd recommend climbing for example (that's a serious gateway to permanent improvement of lifestyle for everybody I know including me, but its not panacea so other stuff may work for ya). That's a great way and first step to completely change yourself. That's the core of most weight loss - if you want permanent results, you need to do permanent change in your habits, no way to hack around this simple fact of life (if you don't count pussies like Musk lacking any serious impulse control who eat copious amount of diabetes medications because... that really seems like a great idea along term, just ask any senior doctor in private).

Fire-Dragon-DoL 3y ago
Unfortunately I have to disagree. I started going to the gym 6 times per week in august 2023, my muscles are in way better shape than before, my heart is great, but the biggest weight loss was still at the beginning from diet. It's a pain. I religiously go and alternate 3 HIIT sessions (shadow boxing/stationary bike) of 30 minutes, with strength training of 60 minutes (push, pull, legs). The very rare times I skip have been when my legs are overly tired (boxing, bike, legs + 40 minutes walking 5 days per week it's a lot for muscles). And yet, I'm struggling to lose the remaining weight. My hunger has increased with all the muscles, I am able not to gain weight only because I eat healthy, but the amount I eat increases. I can power through with will and a lot of water, but it's really hard. I thought I would solve with sport but I didn't. I'm in good shape, but I have more weight to lose, it's annoying.
- mancerayder 3y ago
  Have you had your T levels checked? And done bloodwork to check nutrient levels? Low T can definitely limit the ability to be lean. Other factors - over training (6 times a week would be pushing it for me years ago, today is 3-4 max). Poor sleep. Poor diet (carbs, crappy over processed foods). Many many individual factors to consider. It's truly hard to generalize these things.

makeitdouble 3y ago

Great points. > to try to avoid excessive stress and general periods of unhappiness This of course easier said than done, but that has been my experience as well. Trying to lose fat, even in small amounts, was just a lost cause when everything else in my daily life is just stress upon stress, no time to cook, and the body always in emergency mode. And it made me really pissed at the "just meditate" or "just eat less and exercise more" crowd...it must work for some, but that's no magical advice. Losing a measly 5% of fat only happened after rethinking my life, changing job, and basically our daily life as a whole family.

Fire-Dragon-DoL 3y ago

What about lack of sleep? When I don't sleep enough, I go on a hunger frenzy and there is nothing I can do about it. It helps eating veggies, but I just keep eating

sn9 3y ago

Building a strength training habit in particular is useful in this context (and many others) because if you do start gaining weight again, you'll end up gaining muscular tissue which is more metabolically active and beneficial in many other ways.