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> hen I see posts like this, I really wonder if men like you just don't know how to write a decent profile intro/bio and post some good photos. I think there ar

> hen I see posts like this, I really wonder if men like you just don't know how to write a decent profile intro/bio and post some good photos. I think there are definitely certain things that make a dating profile more attractive, and many people aren't good at it. But that itself is a filter, no? Not everyone have interesting lives to fill a good bio nor attractive enough to have some attractive photos.

shiroiushi 3y ago
No, I disagree. Just ask anyone in advertising: how you present something makes a huge difference in perception. Sure, not everyone can look like Brad Pitt in his prime, but your profile will look radically different with different photos. Having photos shot by a talented photographer, for instance, will get you better results than a couple of bathroom selfies. The same person can look much more attractive at certain camera angles, or with certain lighting. The composition of those photos will lead to very different results: what is in the photos? Are they shirtless selfies, are they showing you at the golf course, are they with your family (or ex), are they showing you on a hike, etc. Depending on what kind of person you want to attract, the photos you want to show will be very different. If you want an outdoorsy woman, don't post a bunch of photos of yourself in a bar, for instance. Same goes for the bio. You don't have to have an extremely interesting life, but you can write something that's somewhat interesting to read, and shows that you're not lazy. A bio with nothing at all, or worse "just ask!", screams that you're lazy and aren't willing to put any effort into your profile or your search for a match. A thoughtful bio just telling about things you like and what kind of person you're looking for, even if bland, is far better unless you're looking for a very shallow or stupid person (the kind who thinks "just ask" is a good bio). My advice for photos: get some good photos of yourself doing stuff you like to do, which you would like to find a companion for. If you want someone who goes out drinking with you a lot, then post photos of yourself at bars that you like. If you like to hang out at the gym all the time, post photos of yourself there. If you like fishing, post pictures of yourself on a boat with a dead fish. If you like hiking, post pictures of yourself doing that. The woman will subconsciously think about if she can see herself in that photo with you. If your photos don't show yourself doing anything, it'll look like you have no interests at all.
- hnthroaway992 3y ago
  Doesn't that have a slight problem for someone genuinely has no interests whatsoever? For me there are no hobbies, no interests, no experiences, no stories, no partner, and no friends. But I have reason to continue this way, and it grants me a token of solace for the trouble. But what of those as hollow as myself without such incentive? It would seem a painful position to be, existing as a shell of a person but without reason to embrace the isolation. What for them then?
  - shiroiushi 3y ago
    This sounds like some kind of troll post. But if it isn't, I'd say that if you have nothing to offer a partner, why should you expect anyone to be interested in you as a partner? It's up to you to make yourself a better, more rounded and interesting person to be around. Also, it's hard to imagine anyone has NO interests at all, nor any life experiences, or anything at all really. I mean, you're on HN, so obviously there's some kind of interest in something tech-related, right?
    - hnthroaway992 3y ago
      Having no life experiences is true, but there's a little bit of cheating involved, unfortunately. The only memory of childhood I have is a vague impression of a toddler's toy, an egg shaped chicken with a blue bottom that had a bell in it. Everything else? What my room looked like? What route I used to go to school? What my teachers were like? It's all gone now. My adolescence has mostly gone the same way; I remember dropping a ball from a stairwell for physics class. I know I was in high school but couldn't tell you much more then that. My college days, I that I was in class. But I don't remember anyone's names or faces or events or what tests I took. Only thing I know for sure is that no graduation ceremony occurred. I picked up my diploma from the admin office and then never looked back. My first real concrete memories are somewhere in between a suicide attempt after graduation, and getting a job. And there's where I've been since for the last 12 or 13 years now. That's more or less the entirety of my life. Almost 40 years of life all of it can be laid out in 3 paragraphs. Being on HN I think is more because I frankly don't have anything else better to do. Work has slowed down and it's either scroll reddit and HN or... honestly I'm not sure what else. Sleep perhaps?

shiroiushi 3y ago

No, I disagree. Just ask anyone in advertising: how you present something makes a huge difference in perception. Sure, not everyone can look like Brad Pitt in his prime, but your profile will look radically different with different photos. Having photos shot by a talented photographer, for instance, will get you better results than a couple of bathroom selfies. The same person can look much more attractive at certain camera angles, or with certain lighting. The composition of those photos will lead to very different results: what is in the photos? Are they shirtless selfies, are they showing you at the golf course, are they with your family (or ex), are they showing you on a hike, etc. Depending on what kind of person you want to attract, the photos you want to show will be very different. If you want an outdoorsy woman, don't post a bunch of photos of yourself in a bar, for instance. Same goes for the bio. You don't have to have an extremely interesting life, but you can write something that's somewhat interesting to read, and shows that you're not lazy. A bio with nothing at all, or worse "just ask!", screams that you're lazy and aren't willing to put any effort into your profile or your search for a match. A thoughtful bio just telling about things you like and what kind of person you're looking for, even if bland, is far better unless you're looking for a very shallow or stupid person (the kind who thinks "just ask" is a good bio). My advice for photos: get some good photos of yourself doing stuff you like to do, which you would like to find a companion for. If you want someone who goes out drinking with you a lot, then post photos of yourself at bars that you like. If you like to hang out at the gym all the time, post photos of yourself there. If you like fishing, post pictures of yourself on a boat with a dead fish. If you like hiking, post pictures of yourself doing that. The woman will subconsciously think about if she can see herself in that photo with you. If your photos don't show yourself doing anything, it'll look like you have no interests at all.

hnthroaway992 3y ago
Doesn't that have a slight problem for someone genuinely has no interests whatsoever? For me there are no hobbies, no interests, no experiences, no stories, no partner, and no friends. But I have reason to continue this way, and it grants me a token of solace for the trouble. But what of those as hollow as myself without such incentive? It would seem a painful position to be, existing as a shell of a person but without reason to embrace the isolation. What for them then?
- shiroiushi 3y ago
  This sounds like some kind of troll post. But if it isn't, I'd say that if you have nothing to offer a partner, why should you expect anyone to be interested in you as a partner? It's up to you to make yourself a better, more rounded and interesting person to be around. Also, it's hard to imagine anyone has NO interests at all, nor any life experiences, or anything at all really. I mean, you're on HN, so obviously there's some kind of interest in something tech-related, right?
  - hnthroaway992 3y ago
    Having no life experiences is true, but there's a little bit of cheating involved, unfortunately. The only memory of childhood I have is a vague impression of a toddler's toy, an egg shaped chicken with a blue bottom that had a bell in it. Everything else? What my room looked like? What route I used to go to school? What my teachers were like? It's all gone now. My adolescence has mostly gone the same way; I remember dropping a ball from a stairwell for physics class. I know I was in high school but couldn't tell you much more then that. My college days, I that I was in class. But I don't remember anyone's names or faces or events or what tests I took. Only thing I know for sure is that no graduation ceremony occurred. I picked up my diploma from the admin office and then never looked back. My first real concrete memories are somewhere in between a suicide attempt after graduation, and getting a job. And there's where I've been since for the last 12 or 13 years now. That's more or less the entirety of my life. Almost 40 years of life all of it can be laid out in 3 paragraphs. Being on HN I think is more because I frankly don't have anything else better to do. Work has slowed down and it's either scroll reddit and HN or... honestly I'm not sure what else. Sleep perhaps?