5 ms·

You want to put the government in control of who we date? No thanks.

by fourseventy 3y ago

cogman10 3y ago
I have to ask, how are you envisioning this goes poorly?
- onlyrealcuzzo 3y ago
  Easy - OP's imagining the government forces you to date people - instead of offering a loss-leading alternative to a monopoly. If you start with the presumption that the government can do nothing but be a dystopia - it's easy to imagine ways anything can end up being a dystopia.
- claytongulick 3y ago
  Where there is government, there is politics. Do you think the government would be able to resist the temptation to engage in politics as it relates to dating?
Syonyk 3y ago
As opposed to for-profit, ad-driven, surveillance capitalism companies with a demonstrated interest in short term profits and hoovering all the data they can? Yeah. I'd be willing to take that risk. Don't get me wrong. I don't think the government is a good group to do this. I just think they're a less-bad group than the usual parties.
- prepend 3y ago
  I have never used a government web site that was better than a marginal ad driven site. I can barely pay my trash bill and can’t imagine a dating app run by any aspect of US federal, state, or local government.
  - kwhitefoot 3y ago
    Try websites run by other governments.
    - prepend 3y ago
      Sadly, that’s not really helpful as only US dating sites are relevant for me.
  - pertymcpert 3y ago
    gov.uk is widely regarded as being better than private websites. You can do anything there and the UI doesn't suck. it doesn't have to be bad, it just needs some effort and thought.
  - amatecha 3y ago
    Enjoy: https://www.canada.ca/en.html https://www.canada.ca/en.html / https://design.canada.ca/ https://design.canada.ca/ https://www.government.nl/ https://www.government.nl/ https://www.nasa.gov/ https://www.nasa.gov/ https://vancouver.ca/ https://vancouver.ca/ https://richmond.ca https://richmond.ca https://www.gov.uk/ https://www.gov.uk/
    - throwaway2037 3y ago
      I am neither British, nor a shill, but the team behind gov.uk is pretty amazing. They have an excellent blog that explains about their design and tech processes.
    - prepend 3y ago
      I like the nasa site, but it’s not really transactionally useful.
- nonrandomstring 3y ago
  This might be heresy to say around these parts but arranged marriages in Asian countries are typically successful and happy. Note there is a world of difference between arranged and "forced" marriages. Yes, there are downsides to what is seen in the "secular west" as an illiberal over-involvement of families. 'Honour killings' and other regressive horrors can occur. But they're not the norm. Plus side is that healthy, supportive involvement from both sides of a family is super valuable. But why stop at the family? Throughout most of human history the community, the village, respected friends etc, have held a really important place in matchmaking. Just read some Jane Austen :) We like the illusion of total independence and choice. In 2024 we can have that. And thank goodness we've gotten past those old suffocating social norms that kept people in traps of class and normative gender roles. But the model of isolated autonomous Bayesian-utility-maximising actors rationally selecting each other ... is a crock. We just don't do that. As soon as we get a serious date, what is the first thing we do... introduce them to our friends for approval! So sure, there are any number of groups from which we could take healthier advice than from a for-profit company that feeds on loneliness and isolation, including maybe a benevolent government that funds services which ultimately result in better mental health and social stability.
  - watwut 3y ago
    > This might be heresy to say around these parts but arranged marriages in Asian countries are typically successful and happy. Estimated rates of domestic violence are pretty high in those countries. That is the thing, if you make divorce socially costly, people will stay together whether happy or not.
miki123211 3y ago
That's not the best way to do it IMO, subsidies for dating apps that facilitate successful, long-term relationships would be a far better idea. Have a law that lets citizens specify on which app they met their partner when getting married, and have the government pay a small (to the tune of $10) monthly subsidy to the makers of that app for as long as that marriage lasts. $10 per month per couple is not a lot of money for a government in the grand scheme of things, and the benefits to population growth and plain human happiness are incalculable.

You want to put the government in control of who we date? No thanks.

cogman10 3y ago

I have to ask, how are you envisioning this goes poorly?

onlyrealcuzzo 3y ago
Easy - OP's imagining the government forces you to date people - instead of offering a loss-leading alternative to a monopoly. If you start with the presumption that the government can do nothing but be a dystopia - it's easy to imagine ways anything can end up being a dystopia.
claytongulick 3y ago
Where there is government, there is politics. Do you think the government would be able to resist the temptation to engage in politics as it relates to dating?

Syonyk 3y ago

As opposed to for-profit, ad-driven, surveillance capitalism companies with a demonstrated interest in short term profits and hoovering all the data they can? Yeah. I'd be willing to take that risk. Don't get me wrong. I don't think the government is a good group to do this. I just think they're a less-bad group than the usual parties.

prepend 3y ago
I have never used a government web site that was better than a marginal ad driven site. I can barely pay my trash bill and can’t imagine a dating app run by any aspect of US federal, state, or local government.
- kwhitefoot 3y ago
  Try websites run by other governments.
  - prepend 3y ago
    Sadly, that’s not really helpful as only US dating sites are relevant for me.
- pertymcpert 3y ago
  gov.uk is widely regarded as being better than private websites. You can do anything there and the UI doesn't suck. it doesn't have to be bad, it just needs some effort and thought.
- amatecha 3y ago
  Enjoy: https://www.canada.ca/en.html https://www.canada.ca/en.html / https://design.canada.ca/ https://design.canada.ca/ https://www.government.nl/ https://www.government.nl/ https://www.nasa.gov/ https://www.nasa.gov/ https://vancouver.ca/ https://vancouver.ca/ https://richmond.ca https://richmond.ca https://www.gov.uk/ https://www.gov.uk/
  - throwaway2037 3y ago
    I am neither British, nor a shill, but the team behind gov.uk is pretty amazing. They have an excellent blog that explains about their design and tech processes.
  - prepend 3y ago
    I like the nasa site, but it’s not really transactionally useful.
nonrandomstring 3y ago
This might be heresy to say around these parts but arranged marriages in Asian countries are typically successful and happy. Note there is a world of difference between arranged and "forced" marriages. Yes, there are downsides to what is seen in the "secular west" as an illiberal over-involvement of families. 'Honour killings' and other regressive horrors can occur. But they're not the norm. Plus side is that healthy, supportive involvement from both sides of a family is super valuable. But why stop at the family? Throughout most of human history the community, the village, respected friends etc, have held a really important place in matchmaking. Just read some Jane Austen :) We like the illusion of total independence and choice. In 2024 we can have that. And thank goodness we've gotten past those old suffocating social norms that kept people in traps of class and normative gender roles. But the model of isolated autonomous Bayesian-utility-maximising actors rationally selecting each other ... is a crock. We just don't do that. As soon as we get a serious date, what is the first thing we do... introduce them to our friends for approval! So sure, there are any number of groups from which we could take healthier advice than from a for-profit company that feeds on loneliness and isolation, including maybe a benevolent government that funds services which ultimately result in better mental health and social stability.
- watwut 3y ago
  > This might be heresy to say around these parts but arranged marriages in Asian countries are typically successful and happy. Estimated rates of domestic violence are pretty high in those countries. That is the thing, if you make divorce socially costly, people will stay together whether happy or not.

miki123211 3y ago

That's not the best way to do it IMO, subsidies for dating apps that facilitate successful, long-term relationships would be a far better idea. Have a law that lets citizens specify on which app they met their partner when getting married, and have the government pay a small (to the tune of $10) monthly subsidy to the makers of that app for as long as that marriage lasts. $10 per month per couple is not a lot of money for a government in the grand scheme of things, and the benefits to population growth and plain human happiness are incalculable.