4 ms·

If you're interested in this sort of thing, I can recommend creating an account on your dating app of choice with the opposite gender. The experiences are as d

If you're interested in this sort of thing, I can recommend creating an account on your dating app of choice with the opposite gender. The experiences are as different as night and day - and the different user groups have completely different requirements of the product. The article is interesting, but IMHO they've really missed the key asymmetries that make good dating apps so hard to build.

ravenstine 3y ago
Better yet, do some experiments outside of just gender. Make an account for a dog. Or be a guy who's a total douchebag. You may not like what you find. EDIT: Seems people here don't like what I have to say or think I'm kidding. I haven't done the dog experiment myself, though I've seen it done a few times by others. It's quite the realization when a dog gets more attention than you do as a human on a dating app. Yeah, it's different, but it may not feel that way if all you want is for just one person to not dismiss you that day. However, I have done the experiment of pretending to be a stereotypical douchebag on dating apps, and that was especially enlightening. By douchebag, I mean that type of guy who shows his abs in mirror shots, wears a baseball cap sideways, and sends dick pics (I didn't actually do that part, but I'm illustrating a character here). Turns out that if all you want to do is get laid by attractive young women, then this is the guy you want to be. Many women in my locality are looking specifically for a good time with him. Just show pics of you in front of a white pickup truck, type in all lowercase, say you've spent time in jail, and that all you care about is sex.
- renjimen 3y ago
  > Many women in my locality are looking specifically for a good time with him. Attention != success.
  - ravenstine 3y ago
    For some men, such an experience would be the closest thing to success they've seen in quite some time.
    - alickz 3y ago
      Some men are so attention starved they would settle for negative attention
- toomuchtodo 3y ago
  I feel this both aligns with and is at odds with https://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/why-women-lose-the-dating-game-20120421-1xdn0.html https://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/why-women-lose-the-dating-g..., but I suppose age is the crucial factor at play.
- talldatethrow 3y ago
  My craziest online dating story is from 2007 with PlentyOfFish. Was hours from going to the girls house to torrent and chill. Googled her username from POF back when usernames sometimes meant something. Got a hit on a weird forum. Threads with pictures. Had to make a fake email to make account to see attachments. Confirmed, normal looking girl from Alameda CA letting her dog do her. I swear on my parents life. I stayed off online dating for several years until the tinder craze in 2014. Your dog comments gives me a spark of PTSD.
  - ravenstine 3y ago
    Yikes! That's worse than my experience. She wanted me to pretend physically abuse her, and not in a BDSM with a safe word sort of way. I just don't want any element of that kind of dynamic in my life or to accidentally unleash some negative part of my psyche that's dormant. Likewise to you, I quit dating for a while after that experiment. > torrent and chill LOL
- bonton89 3y ago
  As d-bag guy, how did you determine if the women's responses were bots or not?
beaeglebeached 3y ago
[flagged]
- Night_Thastus 3y ago
  "Reproductive baseline value of females is obvious." This has some serious sexism/incel vibes. Visual appearance can be very deceptive. There are plenty of very 'conventionally' attractive people who have less obvious health disorders ranging from infertility to women with high likelyhood of death during birth to mental disorders that would cause problems for raising a child.
  - beaeglebeached 3y ago
    Reproduction is sexist. Women bear, and contribute, the lions share of the fetal cost. Not all healthy appearing prime age females can reproduce, obviously. Healthy, young adult, well nourished appearance is still a good indicator towards 9 months of reproductive value.
    - autoexec 3y ago
      It's at best an indicator that the woman isn't about to die and could maybe push out a child. Nothing more. That's really not super helpful and I doubt that it's anything remotely close to what most people are thinking about when they swipe and try to get a date with somebody.
      - beaeglebeached 3y ago
        I think people date and romance because largely it feels good, and it instinctively feels good because it satisfies certain necessities of life. Some of which necessitate pairing with the opposite sex. I don't expect the masses to be able to explain their instincts,or for their thoughts to explain them. > That's really not super helpful But it's more helpful than most of the other social media fast alternatives of someone you don't know well. You won't be getting their medical records. On a thirty second first glance yay/nay a few healthy photos looking good doing aerobic activities is as close as you're going to get to evidence of sexual fitness for fetal survival without asking intrusive and creepy sounding medical questions.
deleted 3y ago
[deleted]
ajsnigrutin 3y ago
[flagged]

ravenstine 3y ago

Better yet, do some experiments outside of just gender. Make an account for a dog. Or be a guy who's a total douchebag. You may not like what you find. EDIT: Seems people here don't like what I have to say or think I'm kidding. I haven't done the dog experiment myself, though I've seen it done a few times by others. It's quite the realization when a dog gets more attention than you do as a human on a dating app. Yeah, it's different, but it may not feel that way if all you want is for just one person to not dismiss you that day. However, I have done the experiment of pretending to be a stereotypical douchebag on dating apps, and that was especially enlightening. By douchebag, I mean that type of guy who shows his abs in mirror shots, wears a baseball cap sideways, and sends dick pics (I didn't actually do that part, but I'm illustrating a character here). Turns out that if all you want to do is get laid by attractive young women, then this is the guy you want to be. Many women in my locality are looking specifically for a good time with him. Just show pics of you in front of a white pickup truck, type in all lowercase, say you've spent time in jail, and that all you care about is sex.

renjimen 3y ago
> Many women in my locality are looking specifically for a good time with him. Attention != success.
- ravenstine 3y ago
  For some men, such an experience would be the closest thing to success they've seen in quite some time.
  - alickz 3y ago
    Some men are so attention starved they would settle for negative attention
toomuchtodo 3y ago
I feel this both aligns with and is at odds with https://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/why-women-lose-the-dating-game-20120421-1xdn0.html https://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/why-women-lose-the-dating-g..., but I suppose age is the crucial factor at play.
talldatethrow 3y ago
My craziest online dating story is from 2007 with PlentyOfFish. Was hours from going to the girls house to torrent and chill. Googled her username from POF back when usernames sometimes meant something. Got a hit on a weird forum. Threads with pictures. Had to make a fake email to make account to see attachments. Confirmed, normal looking girl from Alameda CA letting her dog do her. I swear on my parents life. I stayed off online dating for several years until the tinder craze in 2014. Your dog comments gives me a spark of PTSD.
- ravenstine 3y ago
  Yikes! That's worse than my experience. She wanted me to pretend physically abuse her, and not in a BDSM with a safe word sort of way. I just don't want any element of that kind of dynamic in my life or to accidentally unleash some negative part of my psyche that's dormant. Likewise to you, I quit dating for a while after that experiment. > torrent and chill LOL
bonton89 3y ago
As d-bag guy, how did you determine if the women's responses were bots or not?

beaeglebeached 3y ago

[flagged]

Night_Thastus 3y ago
"Reproductive baseline value of females is obvious." This has some serious sexism/incel vibes. Visual appearance can be very deceptive. There are plenty of very 'conventionally' attractive people who have less obvious health disorders ranging from infertility to women with high likelyhood of death during birth to mental disorders that would cause problems for raising a child.
- beaeglebeached 3y ago
  Reproduction is sexist. Women bear, and contribute, the lions share of the fetal cost. Not all healthy appearing prime age females can reproduce, obviously. Healthy, young adult, well nourished appearance is still a good indicator towards 9 months of reproductive value.
  - autoexec 3y ago
    It's at best an indicator that the woman isn't about to die and could maybe push out a child. Nothing more. That's really not super helpful and I doubt that it's anything remotely close to what most people are thinking about when they swipe and try to get a date with somebody.
    - beaeglebeached 3y ago
      I think people date and romance because largely it feels good, and it instinctively feels good because it satisfies certain necessities of life. Some of which necessitate pairing with the opposite sex. I don't expect the masses to be able to explain their instincts,or for their thoughts to explain them. > That's really not super helpful But it's more helpful than most of the other social media fast alternatives of someone you don't know well. You won't be getting their medical records. On a thirty second first glance yay/nay a few healthy photos looking good doing aerobic activities is as close as you're going to get to evidence of sexual fitness for fetal survival without asking intrusive and creepy sounding medical questions.

deleted 3y ago

[deleted]

ajsnigrutin 3y ago

[flagged]