4 ms·

> My father was cremated last year. He had no friends at the time of his death. Something that often happens with men: they tend to (on average) not be as big

> My father was cremated last year. He had no friends at the time of his death. Something that often happens with men: they tend to (on average) not be as big social butterflies as women, and so any past friends they had fade into the background/disappear. It takes time/effort to keep relationships going. "Why most men don't have enough close friends" * https://www.ctvnews.ca/lifestyle/why-most-men-don-t-have-enough-close-friends-1.6172801 https://www.ctvnews.ca/lifestyle/why-most-men-don-t-have-eno... "Men have fewer friends than ever, and it’s harming their health" * https://www.vox.com/the-highlight/23323556/men-friendship-loneliness-isolation-masculinity https://www.vox.com/the-highlight/23323556/men-friendship-lo... "Men’s Social Circles are Shrinking" * https://www.americansurveycenter.org/why-mens-social-circles-are-shrinking/ https://www.americansurveycenter.org/why-mens-social-circles... "Men struggle to keep friends — and it’s hurting their mental health" * https://globalnews.ca/news/6112225/male-friendship-mental-health/ https://globalnews.ca/news/6112225/male-friendship-mental-he... "More than 1 in 7 men have no close friends. The way we socialize boys is to blame": * https://www.latimes.com/lifestyle/newsletter/2023-10-10/more-than-1-in-7-men-have-no-close-friends-the-way-we-socialize-boys-is-to-blame-group-therapy https://www.latimes.com/lifestyle/newsletter/2023-10-10/more... Also, with people having fewer children (if any), support structures toward the end of life are getting smaller and smaller.

ThrowawayR2 3y ago
Macabre though it may be, I've often thought about submitting a YC proposal for a startup that provides professional executor services for those who are facing death alone. Demand is only going to increase as time goes by and, as many internet articles show, it can be difficult to find an executor that one trusts if they have a small social circle.
- bennettnate5 3y ago
  Just to clarify for everyone (because I totally misread this the first time): Executor - A person officially appointed to carry out your will after you have passed Executioner - A person officially appointed to carry out your passing
  - knodi123 3y ago
    although in both cases, Trust is very important.
  - rightbyte 3y ago
    There have to been fatal mixups regarding this. Maybe not as bad as "inflammable".
    - hatthew 3y ago
      I will never not be upset with the world for deciding that flammable and inflammable are synonyms
  - ASUfool 3y ago
    As the executor of my dad's estate, he would have fun with the similar words and call me his ex eh cuter. Thanks for reminding me of our shared joy of words. :) R.I.P. Dad.
- echion 3y ago
  hmu
- michaelt 3y ago
  In the UK, some solicitors and accountants already provide this service. They don't market it as "facing death alone" though, they market it more as "giving the family time to grieve" and "getting complex paperwork right"
- throw0101c 3y ago
  > a YC proposal for a startup that provides professional executor services There are law firms already doing this. From a quick search of my area (Toronto, Canada): * https://www.millsandmills.ca/areas-of-practice/wills-estates-trusts/estate-trustee-services/ https://www.millsandmills.ca/areas-of-practice/wills-estates... * https://ontario-probate.ca/estate-administration-executor-service/ https://ontario-probate.ca/estate-administration-executor-se... * https://mcdonaldestateservices.ca/services https://mcdonaldestateservices.ca/services
- azinman2 3y ago
  Seems odd to make that a VC-backed entity. That said I think the most important aspect is knowing the service will be around when you die. Updating wills, plans is expensive, and if someone has dementia etc and this goes bust because 90% of “startups” do, then that’s a real problem.
  - resolutebat 3y ago
    But just imagine all the "growth hacks" you could do, both to increase the dearly departed clientele and the amount of profit you could extract from them!
    - TeMPOraL 3y ago
      That's a tough market to break into. Pretty much everything servicing people past the age of retirement is already set up to suck out maximum amount of wealth from their "customers" before they pass. GGP's best chance is to simultaneously expand and capture the younger side of the market. To move fast, they might need to break some things, ignore ethics, laws, or basic human decency here and there - all par for the course for a modern VC-backed startup.
- ebiester 3y ago
  Lawyers already do this. What would you have as a value add?
  - TeMPOraL 3y ago
    An app!
- razakel 3y ago
  Almost every law firm already offers this. What would you bring to the table? Counselling on the prospect of facing death?
danenania 3y ago
Apart from this issue, which is certainly important, almost anyone can end up without friends at the end of their lives if they outlive their friends and have no opportunities to make new ones as they get older.
AlecSchueler 3y ago
He was a paedophile and a serial sex offender who alienated most of his friends and family, dying with more enemies than friends. Sexual violence is also more prevalent in men and it's important to remember that so we can be more responsible parents and educators for young boys.
wonderwonder 3y ago
Yup, when I go I expect it will just be my kids there and my wife. Same situation happened when my dad died, just us kids.
hoseja 3y ago
Male friendships are existentially dangerous to the State. No wonder they are mysteriously disappearing.
- 2devnull 3y ago
  Interesting comment. By what mechanisms would you suggest the disappearing is being carried out by the State? The State is threatened by power, obviously love and friendship are powerful things, but there aren’t in actuality any political efforts that are overtly targeting male friendships that I can think of. Maybe fbi infiltration of men’s rights groups and boys clubs like proudboys, MS13 and the freemasons?
  - Der_Einzige 3y ago
    One of my bosses was a high ranking mason. I asked him about the Freemason conspiracy theory stuff. He told me he’s not sure “who’s infiltrating who” in regards to the relationship between masons and other groups like who you mention.

ThrowawayR2 3y ago

Macabre though it may be, I've often thought about submitting a YC proposal for a startup that provides professional executor services for those who are facing death alone. Demand is only going to increase as time goes by and, as many internet articles show, it can be difficult to find an executor that one trusts if they have a small social circle.

bennettnate5 3y ago
Just to clarify for everyone (because I totally misread this the first time): Executor - A person officially appointed to carry out your will after you have passed Executioner - A person officially appointed to carry out your passing
- knodi123 3y ago
  although in both cases, Trust is very important.
- rightbyte 3y ago
  There have to been fatal mixups regarding this. Maybe not as bad as "inflammable".
  - hatthew 3y ago
    I will never not be upset with the world for deciding that flammable and inflammable are synonyms
- ASUfool 3y ago
  As the executor of my dad's estate, he would have fun with the similar words and call me his ex eh cuter. Thanks for reminding me of our shared joy of words. :) R.I.P. Dad.
echion 3y ago
hmu
michaelt 3y ago
In the UK, some solicitors and accountants already provide this service. They don't market it as "facing death alone" though, they market it more as "giving the family time to grieve" and "getting complex paperwork right"
throw0101c 3y ago
> a YC proposal for a startup that provides professional executor services There are law firms already doing this. From a quick search of my area (Toronto, Canada): * https://www.millsandmills.ca/areas-of-practice/wills-estates-trusts/estate-trustee-services/ https://www.millsandmills.ca/areas-of-practice/wills-estates... * https://ontario-probate.ca/estate-administration-executor-service/ https://ontario-probate.ca/estate-administration-executor-se... * https://mcdonaldestateservices.ca/services https://mcdonaldestateservices.ca/services
azinman2 3y ago
Seems odd to make that a VC-backed entity. That said I think the most important aspect is knowing the service will be around when you die. Updating wills, plans is expensive, and if someone has dementia etc and this goes bust because 90% of “startups” do, then that’s a real problem.
- resolutebat 3y ago
  But just imagine all the "growth hacks" you could do, both to increase the dearly departed clientele and the amount of profit you could extract from them!
  - TeMPOraL 3y ago
    That's a tough market to break into. Pretty much everything servicing people past the age of retirement is already set up to suck out maximum amount of wealth from their "customers" before they pass. GGP's best chance is to simultaneously expand and capture the younger side of the market. To move fast, they might need to break some things, ignore ethics, laws, or basic human decency here and there - all par for the course for a modern VC-backed startup.
ebiester 3y ago
Lawyers already do this. What would you have as a value add?
- TeMPOraL 3y ago
  An app!
razakel 3y ago
Almost every law firm already offers this. What would you bring to the table? Counselling on the prospect of facing death?

danenania 3y ago

Apart from this issue, which is certainly important, almost anyone can end up without friends at the end of their lives if they outlive their friends and have no opportunities to make new ones as they get older.

AlecSchueler 3y ago

He was a paedophile and a serial sex offender who alienated most of his friends and family, dying with more enemies than friends. Sexual violence is also more prevalent in men and it's important to remember that so we can be more responsible parents and educators for young boys.

wonderwonder 3y ago

Yup, when I go I expect it will just be my kids there and my wife. Same situation happened when my dad died, just us kids.

hoseja 3y ago

Male friendships are existentially dangerous to the State. No wonder they are mysteriously disappearing.

2devnull 3y ago
Interesting comment. By what mechanisms would you suggest the disappearing is being carried out by the State? The State is threatened by power, obviously love and friendship are powerful things, but there aren’t in actuality any political efforts that are overtly targeting male friendships that I can think of. Maybe fbi infiltration of men’s rights groups and boys clubs like proudboys, MS13 and the freemasons?
- Der_Einzige 3y ago
  One of my bosses was a high ranking mason. I asked him about the Freemason conspiracy theory stuff. He told me he’s not sure “who’s infiltrating who” in regards to the relationship between masons and other groups like who you mention.