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Sure, and the pressure some people place on themselves to have a "perfect" wedding. Wedding culture, at least in the US, is completely out of control. The who

Sure, and the pressure some people place on themselves to have a "perfect" wedding. Wedding culture, at least in the US, is completely out of control. The whole thing is a weird (mostly) self-inflicted scam meant to separate people, usually just starting out in life, from their money. As much of their money as possible. I was talking about this a while back with a co-worker about 20 years older than me: when I got married (around 15 years ago,) we spent like 6 grand, all in. He said 'man, when I got married we used the rec room at our church for free and got a sheet cake from the grocery store.' That would have been in the early 80's. He and his wife are still married, and, so far as I can tell, have not suffered from the lack of a supremely expensive wedding.

russfink 3y ago
Comedian Jim Gaffigan does a bit on weddings - it’s when you get to be a princess. Of course, kingdoms don’t come cheap.
toss1 3y ago
Good on you both! I've often heard that the wedding spend total is inversely proportional to the length of the marriage. (When the spending is crazy, one must ask what 'for what are they compensating?').
- mattgreenrocks 3y ago
  This is the sort of thing people never really warn you about.
- qingcharles 3y ago
  $25K on mine. Lasted four years, although that was mostly my fault.
  - a_shoeboy 3y ago
    $6K on mine, 17 years and counting. How many more of these anecdotes do we need before can call it data?
    - michaelt 3y ago
      Somewhat unexpectedly, [1] which is based on actual university research, reports the opposite: Figure 9 says people who had more guests at their wedding report better marriage outcomes - even after controlling for income, education, race/ethnicity and religiousness. Of course, if you want to discard the research and stick with your anecdotes, it was partly funded by a charity founded by a guy who believed in 'strong families'. [1] http://before-i-do.org/ http://before-i-do.org/
      - aidenn0 3y ago
        You'd probably want to control for wealth to get good data. Marriage duration is correlated with wealth, and wealthy people probably spend more on everything, weddings included. [edit] nevermind, the the posted link claims the figures are controlled for several factors, including income and education, which both correlate with wealth.
- aidenn0 3y ago
  My wife was an only child from a wealthy family; short of destroying the relationship with her mother, we had little say in the cost of the wedding[1]. That being said, it really was a lovely wedding and a good time was had by all. 1: We compromised; the ceremony was all us, her mom planned the reception, with input from us. It is still mind-boggling to me how much her mom was invested; they normally get along fine (both before and since), but I was seriously worried that planning the wedding would destroy their relationship.
RajT88 3y ago
I've been to a few weddings at VFW's in small towns. They were no better (or worse) than the big fancy ones! The couples fared no better (or worse) than any others.
smegger001 3y ago
Sounds like mine only it was cheesecakes from Costco and 8 years ago. Also my grandfather officiated as he was ordained so I didn't need to pay a justice of the peace or a minister. Also the ring was from a pawnshope so the diamond was closer to its value rather that the inflated price the diamond cartel would have you pay.

russfink 3y ago

Comedian Jim Gaffigan does a bit on weddings - it’s when you get to be a princess. Of course, kingdoms don’t come cheap.

toss1 3y ago

Good on you both! I've often heard that the wedding spend total is inversely proportional to the length of the marriage. (When the spending is crazy, one must ask what 'for what are they compensating?').

mattgreenrocks 3y ago
This is the sort of thing people never really warn you about.
qingcharles 3y ago
$25K on mine. Lasted four years, although that was mostly my fault.
- a_shoeboy 3y ago
  $6K on mine, 17 years and counting. How many more of these anecdotes do we need before can call it data?
  - michaelt 3y ago
    Somewhat unexpectedly, [1] which is based on actual university research, reports the opposite: Figure 9 says people who had more guests at their wedding report better marriage outcomes - even after controlling for income, education, race/ethnicity and religiousness. Of course, if you want to discard the research and stick with your anecdotes, it was partly funded by a charity founded by a guy who believed in 'strong families'. [1] http://before-i-do.org/ http://before-i-do.org/
    - aidenn0 3y ago
      You'd probably want to control for wealth to get good data. Marriage duration is correlated with wealth, and wealthy people probably spend more on everything, weddings included. [edit] nevermind, the the posted link claims the figures are controlled for several factors, including income and education, which both correlate with wealth.
aidenn0 3y ago
My wife was an only child from a wealthy family; short of destroying the relationship with her mother, we had little say in the cost of the wedding[1]. That being said, it really was a lovely wedding and a good time was had by all. 1: We compromised; the ceremony was all us, her mom planned the reception, with input from us. It is still mind-boggling to me how much her mom was invested; they normally get along fine (both before and since), but I was seriously worried that planning the wedding would destroy their relationship.

RajT88 3y ago

I've been to a few weddings at VFW's in small towns. They were no better (or worse) than the big fancy ones! The couples fared no better (or worse) than any others.

smegger001 3y ago

Sounds like mine only it was cheesecakes from Costco and 8 years ago. Also my grandfather officiated as he was ordained so I didn't need to pay a justice of the peace or a minister. Also the ring was from a pawnshope so the diamond was closer to its value rather that the inflated price the diamond cartel would have you pay.