There is a subtle difference between "victim blaming" and pointing out the (unpleasant yet real) mutual behavioral effects in such a situation. Everyone has th

There is a subtle difference between "victim blaming" and pointing out the (unpleasant yet real) mutual behavioral effects in such a situation. Everyone has the right to defend themselves, but however they act can have potentially unintended effects beyond their control on the other party. The main takeaway here is that it might be beneficial to consider these social mechanisms in ones reaction, independent of the fairness aspect.