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> But there are a lot of people for whom "holding it in" and adopting general-purpose stoic principles are enough. I don't believe this is true - in my experie
by squigz 3y ago
> But there are a lot of people for whom "holding it in" and adopting general-purpose stoic principles are enough.
I don't believe this is true - in my experience, the people who fall into this group are more likely to not be able to regulate their emotions properly, usually leading to them perpetuating the abuse. One can't "hold it in" forever - eventually it comes out, usually explosively.
- Filligree 3y agoIf someone can in fact regulate their emotions properly, would you even know they’ve been traumatised at some point?
- lazide 3y agoLike NPD, the only way is a proper comparison of reality to facts. The difference between NPD and normal is, are the reactions and mental view based on reality, or a delusion? Is the person actually regulating their emotions correctly, or is their internal world view a delusion that they are regulating their emotions correctly? Are their traumatic events actually as presented and occurred - they were raped, or had someone blown up in front of them - or actually didn’t happen that way, never happened at all, or something else happened and they refuse to remember or see it? Needless to say, separating delusion from fact can be extremely difficult in the best of circumstances and is prone to biases in the evaluator as well. I think everyone has experience with someone in an authority position who was ‘not angry’ and took something out on them though, and refused to ever acknowledge the actual reality afterwards. Or was that person.