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> I found it a practical guide, in that when I recognise too many of its entries with a particular interlocutor, and attempting to jump out of the games doesn't

> I found it a practical guide, in that when I recognise too many of its entries with a particular interlocutor, and attempting to jump out of the games doesn't work, I talk with other people instead. Well what I'd want to know from such a book is: do we consider every social interaction (including happy conversations) a game? is there some reason why asymmetric games are bad? is it reasonable to have a relationship that only has symmetrical and positive games? are people's preferences for games static or are they flexible? how to switch games gracefully?

082349872349872 3y ago
It's been a long, long time since I read it (ca.1970s), but IIRC Berne: (a) does not consider every social interaction a game, only the ones following scripts, of which he provides a few examples, (b) does consider that his games can also be played in positive manners (IIRC adult-adult ought to result in a positive conversation), and (c) does at least touch upon switching games. We probably think of "games" slightly differently than he does; "Scripts People Follow" or "Loops People Never Terminate" might be a more appropriate title for computer geeks. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Games_People_Play_(book) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Games_People_Play_(book) An example, one of the games he hilights is "Ain't It Awful", which basically has the script of all participants complaining about how nothing is good but making no attempt to discover either (a) why things might be the way they are, or (b) how one might at least ameliorate the awful things. We might say his players are getting dopamine hits from participating, but not really making any other progress. Eg: — Isn't it awful how Lisp has all those parentheses? — Yeah, and APL is completely unreadable! — But how about those pointers in C: complete footguns! — Don't forget the EnterpriseJavaFactoryFactoryManager... — oh, and wat about JavaScript? — No, PHP, now that's truly awful! — etc.

082349872349872 3y ago

It's been a long, long time since I read it (ca.1970s), but IIRC Berne: (a) does not consider every social interaction a game, only the ones following scripts, of which he provides a few examples, (b) does consider that his games can also be played in positive manners (IIRC adult-adult ought to result in a positive conversation), and (c) does at least touch upon switching games. We probably think of "games" slightly differently than he does; "Scripts People Follow" or "Loops People Never Terminate" might be a more appropriate title for computer geeks. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Games_People_Play_(book) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Games_People_Play_(book) An example, one of the games he hilights is "Ain't It Awful", which basically has the script of all participants complaining about how nothing is good but making no attempt to discover either (a) why things might be the way they are, or (b) how one might at least ameliorate the awful things. We might say his players are getting dopamine hits from participating, but not really making any other progress. Eg: — Isn't it awful how Lisp has all those parentheses? — Yeah, and APL is completely unreadable! — But how about those pointers in C: complete footguns! — Don't forget the EnterpriseJavaFactoryFactoryManager... — oh, and wat about JavaScript? — No, PHP, now that's truly awful! — etc.