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> What’s the desire underneath the desire to check your phone? This seems like a big question that gets elided in discussions of social media addiction. My und
by tech_ken 3y ago
> What’s the desire underneath the desire to check your phone?
This seems like a big question that gets elided in discussions of social media addiction. My understanding of "classic" addictions (ex. substances) is that there's typically some initial romantic experience or period where a person kind of falls in love with this ideological version of the object of addiction ("chasing that first high", but with a wider definition of "first high" than simply the first time they took the drug). Maybe they spend a beautiful month in Paris drinking wine all day long and that forms the bedrock of the later addiction, as they try and recreate th e magic of that experience ad nauseum. I've never really tried to reconcile phone addiction with this pattern though, but if we are going to call it a true addiction we should probably attempt to square these things up. Identifying the underlying desire, rather than just modeling the phone addict as someone simply pressing a dopamine button, seems like a more productive approach to developing a healthier relationship to technology. Like in my case, my worst scrolling behaviors occur when I'm avoiding something that I find overwhelmingly stressful. When I'm enjoying the outside world I rarely reach for me phone, it's only when I'm uncomfortable or anxious that I open Reddit or Insta (or when I'm waiting for my brain to finish waking up). Maybe targeting this anxious-avoidance would help me end the behavior, rather than trying to behaviorally hack my way off the phone.
- rolph 3y agoF.O.M.O. fear of missing out: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fomo https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fomo
- tech_ken 3y agoDefinitely see how that's a factor in many cases, but I can see other possible explanations. For example, I used to be a real serious Twitter addict, but it wasn't really FOMO driving that IMO. My own post-hoc analysis is that it was a mixture of needing feel "in control" during a period of political upheaval, alongside a desperate desire to build a personal brand and receive recognition. There's lots of people and lots of software, I think the underlying motivations are going to be different for different pairings of the two.
- jebarker 3y agoI agree that it's deeper than just dopamine addiction. I think the phone provides relief from our deepest insecurities. For me, I found putting down the phone (and alcohol) came much more easily when I addressed the real issues I was trying to escape from or find answers to.
- shinjiempath 3y agoJust my experience - but I think a large piece of this has to do with many of us join “social media” or a forum. We get excited at first to be able to see our current and new friends, it’s this feeling of opening a massive conduit to see the people you know and like / feel a sense of belonging. Facebook started as a college app - college is probably when some people are the most social. But after a long time, friends drift, I have so many people on social media that I haven’t actually had a conversation with in years but still see their updates. I feel like my addiction is rooted in the desire to connect with people, to see friends. There isn’t a physical place that makes sense to do so to get the same thing (bar, church, common room, whatever) so I go on social media to see those people, then realize I don’t have anything to message them over because it’s been years, and doom scroll. Engagement converted. I see your point about the “romanticised version of themselves” and that’s what comes up for me - curious if anyone else feels the same.