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Life's tough when you voluntarily place yourself in the role of the victim and give away all your power. That phrasing, "wouldn't let me complete this", is a s

Life's tough when you voluntarily place yourself in the role of the victim and give away all your power. That phrasing, "wouldn't let me complete this", is a self-defeating way to talk to yourself. Switching it up a bit can make a significant difference, for example: "That first try was a struggle, it might take some practice for me to improve". -- In case you or other HN friends are curious and find this technique intriguing, it stems from the philosophy suggesting healthy thinking can reduce distress and promote well-being. The field of study is called Cognitive (or Dialectical) Behavioral Therapy, aka CBT / DBT. Millions of people have found it an effective framework and strategy to permanently improve the way we speak to ourselves and relate to the world. Here's the book I liked most (but there is an ocean of them): DBT Skills Training Manual by Marsha Linehan https://www.amazon.com/DBT%C2%AE-Skills-Training-Manual-Second/dp/1462516998/ https://www.amazon.com/DBT%C2%AE-Skills-Training-Manual-Seco... While you're alive, you might as well live your best life. Sincerely, your buddy Metadat p.s. sorry for the medium-length text wall, I didn't realize this would take be more than a sentence, but after initially posting only the first sentence, it was downvoted and it was apparent some explanation would be more helpful.

geoelectric 3y ago
Worth mentioning DBT is a subset of CBT, not a synonym. https://www.skylandtrail.org/4-differences-between-cbt-and-dbt-and-how-to-tell-which-is-right-for-you/ https://www.skylandtrail.org/4-differences-between-cbt-and-d... DBT originally stems from therapies for Borderline Personality Disorder. While it has applications beyond that for things like anxiety and bipolar management, it may or may not be the right answer for people who don't struggle with negative impulses or behaviors. I'd probably start with sources on more general CBT for someone just needing a nudge or who is more depressive than impulsive.

geoelectric 3y ago

Worth mentioning DBT is a subset of CBT, not a synonym. https://www.skylandtrail.org/4-differences-between-cbt-and-dbt-and-how-to-tell-which-is-right-for-you/ https://www.skylandtrail.org/4-differences-between-cbt-and-d... DBT originally stems from therapies for Borderline Personality Disorder. While it has applications beyond that for things like anxiety and bipolar management, it may or may not be the right answer for people who don't struggle with negative impulses or behaviors. I'd probably start with sources on more general CBT for someone just needing a nudge or who is more depressive than impulsive.