3 ms·

Read the full thing. Took a while. The thing I’m most curious about is the teen’s attraction to extravagance & wealth. What upbringing would cause a child to d

by _lvbh 3y ago

Read the full thing. Took a while. The thing I’m most curious about is the teen’s attraction to extravagance & wealth. What upbringing would cause a child to desire riding in a limousine / pretend to come from old money? At least from my perspective, he already comes from a pretty well off family. What more is there to desire? (My perspective is pretty limited as someone who barely spends £10 a day and considers that a bit much)

gruez 3y ago
>At least from my perspective, he already comes from a pretty well off family. What more is there to desire? When your parents are millionaires but your friends' parents are billionaires, you still get jealous.
- _lvbh 3y ago
  I don’t think there is a functional difference beyond a certain point. No matter how expensive a car is, it ultimately is still just a car. Porches still can’t fly. I definitely do get the power they feel though. My most memorable moment of middle school was when a classmate threatened to kick my family out of our house as the apartment was owned by his parents. I would think rich people more often socialize with other rich people in which they don’t wield that power.
  - Our_Benefactors 3y ago
    > No matter how expensive a car is, it ultimately is still just a car. Porches still can’t fly. Millionaire = nicer cars, maybe a chartered flight. Billionaire = private jets in their name.
  - codyb 3y ago
    You may not be materialistic at this point in your life, but my guess is you’re not an impressionable young teen in a school environment either Also, just cause you see something for what it is to you shouldn’t prevent you from seeing through other’s eyes!
15457345234 3y ago
> the teen’s attraction to extravagance & wealth. What upbringing would cause a child to desire riding in a limousine / pretend to come from old money? Some people just get like that. A friend of mine went that way - everything became about appearance to them. Clothes, cars, fancy central London office - appearance was everything. They had no interest in anything 'organic' or 'authentic' it was purely about brands, places, status symbols. Really depressing to see where it led them (astray, which I imagine isn't uncommon.)
nstart 3y ago
There's a kid in my son's school who can't stop mocking other children for their appearance of a lack of wealth. He keeps finishing off his mocking with how much wealth his parents have and the pool at their home and other luxuries they have access to. They aren't even 10. We are family friends with a person who happens to be a teacher at school. She said it gets worse as they get older. The school is a private one so I assumed it might be due to a higher percentage of children being from more affluent backgrounds so I dug into behaviour at several large public schools who have kids from all backgrounds. It's even worse there. Even the teachers participate in an exercise of thinly veiled mockery of children who cannot afford the entry fee to a school activity or "donation" to the school. Every school I dug into has it in some form or another. And the end result of that is that even children who are from well off background whose parents don't flash it around feel left out when their peers talk about expensive holidays and their parents' luxury vehicles. The children start to ask their parents and put pressure to present themselves as more wealthy. The obsession with displays of wealth has always been there and anecdotally it feels it's getting worse. Maybe I'm too pessimistic but I definitely don't feel it getting any better. The worst part of it is how much the layers keep building themselves up. I know enough families now to know this isn't coincidence; there is even a large amount of debt being built up just to maintain facades of obscene wealth. Once they are in that trap, you can't just exit one day saying "know what? That was a lie". We'll never know about this particular teenager's motivations, but I'd wager that given the school he was in, there were similar pressures that eventually got the better of him :(

by _lvbh 3y ago

gruez 3y ago

>At least from my perspective, he already comes from a pretty well off family. What more is there to desire? When your parents are millionaires but your friends' parents are billionaires, you still get jealous.

_lvbh 3y ago
I don’t think there is a functional difference beyond a certain point. No matter how expensive a car is, it ultimately is still just a car. Porches still can’t fly. I definitely do get the power they feel though. My most memorable moment of middle school was when a classmate threatened to kick my family out of our house as the apartment was owned by his parents. I would think rich people more often socialize with other rich people in which they don’t wield that power.
- Our_Benefactors 3y ago
  > No matter how expensive a car is, it ultimately is still just a car. Porches still can’t fly. Millionaire = nicer cars, maybe a chartered flight. Billionaire = private jets in their name.
- codyb 3y ago
  You may not be materialistic at this point in your life, but my guess is you’re not an impressionable young teen in a school environment either Also, just cause you see something for what it is to you shouldn’t prevent you from seeing through other’s eyes!

15457345234 3y ago

> the teen’s attraction to extravagance & wealth. What upbringing would cause a child to desire riding in a limousine / pretend to come from old money? Some people just get like that. A friend of mine went that way - everything became about appearance to them. Clothes, cars, fancy central London office - appearance was everything. They had no interest in anything 'organic' or 'authentic' it was purely about brands, places, status symbols. Really depressing to see where it led them (astray, which I imagine isn't uncommon.)

nstart 3y ago

There's a kid in my son's school who can't stop mocking other children for their appearance of a lack of wealth. He keeps finishing off his mocking with how much wealth his parents have and the pool at their home and other luxuries they have access to. They aren't even 10. We are family friends with a person who happens to be a teacher at school. She said it gets worse as they get older. The school is a private one so I assumed it might be due to a higher percentage of children being from more affluent backgrounds so I dug into behaviour at several large public schools who have kids from all backgrounds. It's even worse there. Even the teachers participate in an exercise of thinly veiled mockery of children who cannot afford the entry fee to a school activity or "donation" to the school. Every school I dug into has it in some form or another. And the end result of that is that even children who are from well off background whose parents don't flash it around feel left out when their peers talk about expensive holidays and their parents' luxury vehicles. The children start to ask their parents and put pressure to present themselves as more wealthy. The obsession with displays of wealth has always been there and anecdotally it feels it's getting worse. Maybe I'm too pessimistic but I definitely don't feel it getting any better. The worst part of it is how much the layers keep building themselves up. I know enough families now to know this isn't coincidence; there is even a large amount of debt being built up just to maintain facades of obscene wealth. Once they are in that trap, you can't just exit one day saying "know what? That was a lie". We'll never know about this particular teenager's motivations, but I'd wager that given the school he was in, there were similar pressures that eventually got the better of him :(