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Not the OP, but I also have catastrophic ADHD as they so eloquently put it. I've tried several techniques, that have had some minor initial success, but I just

Not the OP, but I also have catastrophic ADHD as they so eloquently put it. I've tried several techniques, that have had some minor initial success, but I just get bored and stop doing it. Which is also why I never became a better than beginner guitar player, properly filled out my opening repertoire in chess, finished almost any project I started, or did regular exercise. I just can't get myself to do boring repetitive tasks.

lawrenceyan 3y ago
Part of the point of meditation in its early stages is training focus/concentration. If you feel bored that’s a good thing! It means you’re giving your brain a good workout basically, and it’s improving.
- LoganDark 3y ago
  "catastrophic ADHD" is probably one of the best ways I've seen it described. At times I get hit with just how many things it's ruined over the years and it just makes me feel completely hopeless, like I don't even have any control over my life at all. I don't know if I ever will. It sucks feeling like I could be intelligent and have great potential but my ability to turn that potential into real action is so impaired that I'm almost completely useless and never achieve any of my actual goals. I've tried to meditate before, but... it doesn't really work. If I try to think less, then thoughts will just hide themselves from me. repeatedly, some new fully-developed thought will just suddenly reveal itself to me, having already been developing for the past 10+ seconds without my knowledge. And this will just keep happening. Stuff just keeps happening in the background and I have no control of it. It's like other parts of my brain are thinking completely for themselves and all I can do is watch and beg for control, and never get it. I'm autistic, and that type of experience is commonly recognized as an autistic pattern of thought. I don't want to live like this, the catastrophic ADHD, but it doesn't seem like there's any way to fix it. I feel like my brain is completely defective.
  - astrange 3y ago
    > If I try to think less, then thoughts will just hide themselves from me. repeatedly, some new fully-developed thought will just suddenly reveal itself to me, having already been developing for the past 10+ seconds without my knowledge. That sounds like successful meditation, because noticing this is the first thing you're supposed to learn using it. Just practice it going away again once it shows up.
    - LoganDark 3y ago
      It almost sounds like it, but I can't control those thoughts. They happen on their own. I've been told one of the ways to successful meditation is learning to be a passive observer of these thoughts, to let them happen but not engage in them, but I definitely don't know how that works.
      - fsociety 3y ago
        You were doing it. Watch this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DvuVhCIQgfQ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DvuVhCIQgfQ.
        LoganDark 3y ago
        Interesting. I definitely have an internal universe, but I've been trying for almost a decade to access it. Meditation does not work unless I'm on certain drugs, all of which that are legal having stopped working for that purpose. The only way I have found is to find another real person and actually describe it to them as I explore. If there is nobody else there, it is as if my internal universe does not even exist. Even my DID system seems to stop existing. I just become a completely empty shell unless there is somebody else around to observe me. In other words, it does not seem like it exists for me, but only to be observed by others. I want to fix this, but I do not think that is possible... Also, the technique recommended in the video doesn't sound like something I can do since I don't feel like having to explain the weird noises to the other people in my house.
- mtlmtlmtlmtl 3y ago
  Eh, sure. But then, as is said, due to the boredom, I stop doing it. This is the problem.
  - lawrenceyan 3y ago
    Mmm that's fair. Well just try your best to meditate when you can. Any amount is better than nothing!

lawrenceyan 3y ago

Part of the point of meditation in its early stages is training focus/concentration. If you feel bored that’s a good thing! It means you’re giving your brain a good workout basically, and it’s improving.

LoganDark 3y ago
"catastrophic ADHD" is probably one of the best ways I've seen it described. At times I get hit with just how many things it's ruined over the years and it just makes me feel completely hopeless, like I don't even have any control over my life at all. I don't know if I ever will. It sucks feeling like I could be intelligent and have great potential but my ability to turn that potential into real action is so impaired that I'm almost completely useless and never achieve any of my actual goals. I've tried to meditate before, but... it doesn't really work. If I try to think less, then thoughts will just hide themselves from me. repeatedly, some new fully-developed thought will just suddenly reveal itself to me, having already been developing for the past 10+ seconds without my knowledge. And this will just keep happening. Stuff just keeps happening in the background and I have no control of it. It's like other parts of my brain are thinking completely for themselves and all I can do is watch and beg for control, and never get it. I'm autistic, and that type of experience is commonly recognized as an autistic pattern of thought. I don't want to live like this, the catastrophic ADHD, but it doesn't seem like there's any way to fix it. I feel like my brain is completely defective.
- astrange 3y ago
  > If I try to think less, then thoughts will just hide themselves from me. repeatedly, some new fully-developed thought will just suddenly reveal itself to me, having already been developing for the past 10+ seconds without my knowledge. That sounds like successful meditation, because noticing this is the first thing you're supposed to learn using it. Just practice it going away again once it shows up.
  - LoganDark 3y ago
    It almost sounds like it, but I can't control those thoughts. They happen on their own. I've been told one of the ways to successful meditation is learning to be a passive observer of these thoughts, to let them happen but not engage in them, but I definitely don't know how that works.
    - fsociety 3y ago
      You were doing it. Watch this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DvuVhCIQgfQ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DvuVhCIQgfQ.
      - LoganDark 3y ago
        Interesting. I definitely have an internal universe, but I've been trying for almost a decade to access it. Meditation does not work unless I'm on certain drugs, all of which that are legal having stopped working for that purpose. The only way I have found is to find another real person and actually describe it to them as I explore. If there is nobody else there, it is as if my internal universe does not even exist. Even my DID system seems to stop existing. I just become a completely empty shell unless there is somebody else around to observe me. In other words, it does not seem like it exists for me, but only to be observed by others. I want to fix this, but I do not think that is possible... Also, the technique recommended in the video doesn't sound like something I can do since I don't feel like having to explain the weird noises to the other people in my house.
mtlmtlmtlmtl 3y ago
Eh, sure. But then, as is said, due to the boredom, I stop doing it. This is the problem.
- lawrenceyan 3y ago
  Mmm that's fair. Well just try your best to meditate when you can. Any amount is better than nothing!