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You do generally need to be far more direct/candid than most people are comfortable with, and that oftentimes makes you seem like a jerk. Takes a lot of finesse
by dchuk 3y ago
You do generally need to be far more direct/candid than most people are comfortable with, and that oftentimes makes you seem like a jerk. Takes a lot of finesse to do it right.
- akkad33 3y agoIn my job I notice the opposite: people who are successful dont hold back but are diplomatic and are never seen as jerks
- justanotherjoe 3y agoblatantly diplomatic
- demondemidi 3y agoAssertive is not aggressive. But for some reason this statement angers a good many people, because I’ve made this statement multiple times on here in the last decade and seen that response repeatedly.
- neom 3y agoFor me, I'm not a particularly assertive person, so when I have to be or decide to be, it often becomes aggressive for some reason, it's like somehow I don't know how to be assertive without being aggressive...I'm not sure why... I'd like to learn how to learn this, tbh.
- demondemidi 3y agoI think I know what you mean. For me personally: aggressive only happens when I start to go limbic; assertive is when I am calm. I can prevent the transition when I can feel myself getting defensive or scared, which turns to anger, and then aggression. But that takes patience and practice! Still working at it.
- neom 3y agoIt's great advice. Thank you kindly! :)