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Children are the greatest gift. In my opinion your life is very empty, full of materialism and selfishness. On your deathbed you will look back and wonder what

Children are the greatest gift. In my opinion your life is very empty, full of materialism and selfishness. On your deathbed you will look back and wonder what it was all about, and no one will be there with you.

questinthrow 3y ago
If your children have helped you then continue making them, I dont mind
- monero-xmr 3y ago
  It's possibly not obvious to you, but to me and the other commenters here, you have a depressed and nihilistic outlook. Life is full of tragedy - likely something will shake you from your comfy perch. Disability, illness, a layoff, who knows. Only the fewest people live an entire long life without the slightest pain. It would be wise to have the tools so that even if you were quadriplegic, you could still have love surrounding you and find purpose in life. I genuinely hope you get the help you need.
  - hotpotamus 3y ago
    > Disability, illness, a layoff I've faced all these (disability from a young age even) and as a result, I don't think there's any way I could raise children. Both because of my own issues make it seem challenging beyond possibility, but also because I wouldn't want to force a child to face the same problems I did. I very much believe to each their own on this particular subject, but if global fertility is "collapsing", then it seems like more people are coming to the same conclusion for one reason or another.
    - monero-xmr 3y ago
      I totally understand not wanting to have children for disability and deciding you are not fit to be a parent. But the OP had a lot of projection onto people who do have kids, which is false. I think being 100% financially able to have children, and choosing not to because you like to travel and watch Netflix more, is a poor reason. But everyone is free to make their own choices. My point about being comfy, was the OP's self description of a blessed, wealthy, pain-free life. But this state of things is temporary, so to be sure one has the mental, emotional, and spiritual tools to accept life when one isn't living a comfy existence. The description of having kids, and of life itself being meaningless, is a signal that when life throws the OP a tragedy, the response will not be healthy.
      - questinthrow 3y ago
        What we see in others is what we have inside
  - questinthrow 3y ago
    I'm sorry I made you so mad, it was just my opinion
    - monero-xmr 3y ago
      I'm not mad - I'm discussing topics on the internet. How can I be mad when posting text in response to other text? We are having a philosophical discussion, and it seems to me like I'm speaking with an incomplete person, stuck in a difficult plane of existence, lacking purpose or happiness.
      - happytoexplain 3y ago
        Every post you've made in this chain is oozing with utterly unwarranted condescension, bordering on hatred.
  - agent008t 3y ago
    If life is full of tragedy, why make more of it? So that you could still have love surrounding you when tragedy strikes? How is that not selfish but OP's view supposedly is? Yes, I agree with you that you have to create some meaning in your life, make up something and convince yourself to believe in it, because there is hardly another option.
Shish2k 3y ago
> In my opinion your life is very empty, full of materialism and selfishness That’s a heck of a baseless assumption IMO. I’m not the OP, but I am in a similar position to them - in my case I have a sufficient amount of material stuff to be basically comfortable without excess; then beyond that I have friends, volunteering at community events, and working on open source projects, none of which feel particularly materialistic or selfish?
- Zach_the_Lizard 3y ago
  It's difficult to explain, but having children triggers something deep--primitive, even--inside of you that unlocks another level of fulfillment. And self growth, for that matter. I too have had a rewarding career that has afforded me all kinds of comfort. I've traveled extensively, even living in a foreign country. I've met interesting people and done interesting things. But there's something special about hearing your child say "dada" or "mama" for the first time. Notice, though, I said "fulfillment" and not "happiness"; I find the lows are lower and the highs are higher. I wouldn't call you "selfish" or "materialistic." I would say that parenting requires sacrifices--time, most of all--and can cultivate a kind of de facto anti-materialism depending on the parenting style. There's a reflection on the past where you think of yourself as less selfish now, since you are now locked into doing more for others. Never before did you have to suck snot out of the nose of a completely helpless being, clean human waste, or endure having your beard roughly tugged on because it got a giggle. The childless thus can _feel_ "selfish" to parents since they typically don't do as much for others as parents do for their children / wives / husbands / etc. But that doesn't make it so.
falcolas 3y ago
Why do you assume anyone will be there with you?

questinthrow 3y ago

If your children have helped you then continue making them, I dont mind

monero-xmr 3y ago
It's possibly not obvious to you, but to me and the other commenters here, you have a depressed and nihilistic outlook. Life is full of tragedy - likely something will shake you from your comfy perch. Disability, illness, a layoff, who knows. Only the fewest people live an entire long life without the slightest pain. It would be wise to have the tools so that even if you were quadriplegic, you could still have love surrounding you and find purpose in life. I genuinely hope you get the help you need.
- hotpotamus 3y ago
  > Disability, illness, a layoff I've faced all these (disability from a young age even) and as a result, I don't think there's any way I could raise children. Both because of my own issues make it seem challenging beyond possibility, but also because I wouldn't want to force a child to face the same problems I did. I very much believe to each their own on this particular subject, but if global fertility is "collapsing", then it seems like more people are coming to the same conclusion for one reason or another.
  - monero-xmr 3y ago
    I totally understand not wanting to have children for disability and deciding you are not fit to be a parent. But the OP had a lot of projection onto people who do have kids, which is false. I think being 100% financially able to have children, and choosing not to because you like to travel and watch Netflix more, is a poor reason. But everyone is free to make their own choices. My point about being comfy, was the OP's self description of a blessed, wealthy, pain-free life. But this state of things is temporary, so to be sure one has the mental, emotional, and spiritual tools to accept life when one isn't living a comfy existence. The description of having kids, and of life itself being meaningless, is a signal that when life throws the OP a tragedy, the response will not be healthy.
    - questinthrow 3y ago
      What we see in others is what we have inside
- questinthrow 3y ago
  I'm sorry I made you so mad, it was just my opinion
  - monero-xmr 3y ago
    I'm not mad - I'm discussing topics on the internet. How can I be mad when posting text in response to other text? We are having a philosophical discussion, and it seems to me like I'm speaking with an incomplete person, stuck in a difficult plane of existence, lacking purpose or happiness.
    - happytoexplain 3y ago
      Every post you've made in this chain is oozing with utterly unwarranted condescension, bordering on hatred.
- agent008t 3y ago
  If life is full of tragedy, why make more of it? So that you could still have love surrounding you when tragedy strikes? How is that not selfish but OP's view supposedly is? Yes, I agree with you that you have to create some meaning in your life, make up something and convince yourself to believe in it, because there is hardly another option.

Shish2k 3y ago

> In my opinion your life is very empty, full of materialism and selfishness That’s a heck of a baseless assumption IMO. I’m not the OP, but I am in a similar position to them - in my case I have a sufficient amount of material stuff to be basically comfortable without excess; then beyond that I have friends, volunteering at community events, and working on open source projects, none of which feel particularly materialistic or selfish?

Zach_the_Lizard 3y ago
It's difficult to explain, but having children triggers something deep--primitive, even--inside of you that unlocks another level of fulfillment. And self growth, for that matter. I too have had a rewarding career that has afforded me all kinds of comfort. I've traveled extensively, even living in a foreign country. I've met interesting people and done interesting things. But there's something special about hearing your child say "dada" or "mama" for the first time. Notice, though, I said "fulfillment" and not "happiness"; I find the lows are lower and the highs are higher. I wouldn't call you "selfish" or "materialistic." I would say that parenting requires sacrifices--time, most of all--and can cultivate a kind of de facto anti-materialism depending on the parenting style. There's a reflection on the past where you think of yourself as less selfish now, since you are now locked into doing more for others. Never before did you have to suck snot out of the nose of a completely helpless being, clean human waste, or endure having your beard roughly tugged on because it got a giggle. The childless thus can _feel_ "selfish" to parents since they typically don't do as much for others as parents do for their children / wives / husbands / etc. But that doesn't make it so.

falcolas 3y ago

Why do you assume anyone will be there with you?