4 ms·
As a father of a 2.5 year old boy and a pair of 0.5 year-old identical twin boys, I hear you. Having 3 kids under 3 is at least 5 times as difficult as having
by KMag 3y ago
As a father of a 2.5 year old boy and a pair of 0.5 year-old identical twin boys, I hear you. Having 3 kids under 3 is at least 5 times as difficult as having the one.
Two sets of twins must be even harder. Hopefully you're getting plenty of help from grandparents.
Every day, we just keep telling ourselves that this is going to all be worth it later, but it's exhausting for now.
- thinkingtoilet 3y agoI always tell people having two kids is ten times harder than having one. I literally can't imagine having two sets of twins that young! Also, it's my little personal crusade to normalize talking about not enjoying being a parent. It's totally ok and totally normal to have these feelings. It's ok to not enjoy this. It's not ok to absolve yourself from the responsibility you sighed up for, but it's ok not to enjoy it. Especially when they're young.
- KMag 3y agoI applaud your efforts. My wife often feels quite bad about feeling exhausted and frustrated, because she doesn't really believe me that it's a completely normal reaction to caring for 3 kids under 3 years old. Feeling exhausted and frustrated with 3 or 4 young kids does not make you a bad parent or mean you're not cut out for parenting. It's a normal human reaction. People just don't talk about it much.
- thinkingtoilet 3y agoI go as far to say that minus a few people with god-like patience if you're not tired and exhausted from parenting and regularly don't enjoy it, you're probably not a good parent. It's like my boomer dad telling me to have more kids and how wonderful it is. Sure, it's super fun when you never change a diaper, never cook, never clean, never watch the kids alone, never take them to an appointment, never help with potty training, etc...
- munificent 3y ago> I always tell people having two kids is ten times harder than having one. My own experience is that having two kids is harder when they're young and easier when they're older. I have friends with just one kid and it's definitely easier to have enough capacity for the kid when the kid is a baby or toddler and needs a ton of attention. Having two toddlers is exhausting. But when the kids get older and more responsible, they can take much of their attention, socialization, and play needs from their sibling. When I've gone on vacation with friends that have just one kid, they are essentially their kids' playmate the entire trip because otherwise the poor kid is totally alone. When I travel with my two kids, I do stuff with them, of course, but they also spend a lot of time doing stuff just the two of them. Especially in today's Western culture where kids don't have as much autonomy out of the home to play with other kids, I think siblings are a huge help for kids getting as much peer interaction as they need. Though, of course, I support anyone who chooses to only have one kid for whatever reason.
- wharvle 3y agoWe have three kids. When two are gone for some reason (sleepover, staying with family, whatever) we're always like "holy shit, one kid is barely harder than no kids!"
- JamesSwift 3y agoJust having 1 of our 4 removed from the house (any 1.. doesn't matter just pick 1), is basically 0 work. Everyone gets along and generally keep each other entertained. Having all 4 together is all of a sudden Lord of the Flies, constantly managing the dynamics... its incredible.
- jemmyw 3y agoI've got 3 kids. They're a bit older now, but I felt that each additional one was a lot less work than the first. The third copied the behaviours of the older ones and became independent that much faster.
- aklemm 3y agoAbsolutely; parenting young kids is awful. Luckily, I didn't really expect it to be very fun, even though I felt obligated to do a good job at it. The upshot is that parenting made me more fully mature than I would ever have become otherwise. That's an underrated aspect, imo, but I don't now many experience that.
- aarondf 3y agoIt is exhausting. Glad to hear I'm not alone, thank you
- throwaway-blaze 3y agoWe've got just one set of boy/girl twins...they're 14 now. Twins are clearly 10x more difficult than a singleton in the early years, but later on they're much easier...there's always a playmate of the same age etc. It gets easier, hang in there.
- otteromkram 3y ago+1 for using 0.5 years as an age denomination. You're probably a great dad just based on that.
- doubled112 3y agoWhat do you have against my 113 month old?