4 ms·

beautiful sentiment, but don't make him the center of your universe, because YOU should be the rightful, temporary center of his universe and not the other way

by dbooher 18y ago

beautiful sentiment, but don't make him the center of your universe, because YOU should be the rightful, temporary center of his universe and not the other way around. Remember that the end goal of your being his father is for him to become his own man; if your identity is solely 'his father' you will have nowhere to stand when he is no longer first and foremost 'your son'. A man with an identity crisis does not a mature man's father make. For his sake, devote your life to something honourable and deserving of your attention; he will see your example, and model after you, directing his energy upwards and outwards, instead of inwards and downwards like you are doing. You may not believe me, but that's exactly what happened to the Chinese (my) people, so, be careful.

run4yourlives 18y ago
Oh, most certainly! I'm concerned with doing two things really: 1. Making sure he has the opportunity to become exactly whom he wants to be, regardless of what that is. 2. Through example and instruction, ensure that he's capable enough to properly value and evaluate his different options, and mature enough to work hard enough to achieve them. While ultimately, everything I do is tempered by what I think would be the best for him, I do live my own life and have my own goals. For example, I've always wanted to be a pilot, and in due time I hope to achieve that goal. I'd love for him to share in that accomplishment, but I certainly have no expectations of him to become a pilot himself, and if he's not that big on flying, it certainly won't stop me. Your advice is sound though. From my outside observations (I live in Vancouver so I get a good chance to observe) of asian families in general, I think there are many that should be heeding your words. I'd just as soon say though that many North American raised people - regardless of culture - could use some more devotion to something other than themselves though!

by dbooher 18y ago

run4yourlives 18y ago

Oh, most certainly! I'm concerned with doing two things really: 1. Making sure he has the opportunity to become exactly whom he wants to be, regardless of what that is. 2. Through example and instruction, ensure that he's capable enough to properly value and evaluate his different options, and mature enough to work hard enough to achieve them. While ultimately, everything I do is tempered by what I think would be the best for him, I do live my own life and have my own goals. For example, I've always wanted to be a pilot, and in due time I hope to achieve that goal. I'd love for him to share in that accomplishment, but I certainly have no expectations of him to become a pilot himself, and if he's not that big on flying, it certainly won't stop me. Your advice is sound though. From my outside observations (I live in Vancouver so I get a good chance to observe) of asian families in general, I think there are many that should be heeding your words. I'd just as soon say though that many North American raised people - regardless of culture - could use some more devotion to something other than themselves though!