3 ms·

Anecdotal obviously, but mine made no such attempt. I was reminded constantly of our financial situation and furthermore, was normally informed through various

Anecdotal obviously, but mine made no such attempt. I was reminded constantly of our financial situation and furthermore, was normally informed through various means how it was my fault for one reason or another. Yay.

makeitdouble 3y ago
Paradoxally I think it can have the same kind of distanciation from money: it can be seen as easily disappearing and too much attachment/reliance on it hurts people. Looking at the study I also wondered why they chose something as controversial as real money.
almostnormal 3y ago
Maybe acquiring a necessity is less rewarding than acquiring something pursued for fun? The point I was trying to make is that a dollar is not a neutral reward, and may cause a different response, that might otherwise be the same in all groups for something as neutral as "points". That the response to rewards differs between poor and rich in general does't seem to be testable using a reward that both groups perceive differently.
- samus 3y ago
  Studying the different response to that reward is kinda the point of the paper though.
AliveShine 3y ago
how were you informed that it was your fault?
- theshackleford 3y ago
  The words "this is all you fault and we wish we never had you" and similar phrases and discussions, often including wishes they had followed through with abortions were used often and frequently. And this was not general, this was out and out "you are the reason we don't have money/can't do nice things/cant afford a mortgage" etc were levied at me again and again, over and over. For a significant chunk of my childhood my parents laid all faults in their life directly at my feet, to my face, when I had barely the capacity to understand the world around me let alone counter with any kind of argument. I was eventually removed from my parents through the assistance of the courts and my grandparents who were witness to the significant mental and physical abuse I suffered at the hand of my parents. They had to spend the remainder of my youth/teens attempting to reverse the idea I had gained that everything that occurred in life of a negative nature must be inherently my fault, and the behavioural issues I had picked up resulting from that. By explaining that adults make choices, choices I cant be held responsible for when I had yet to even be born, etc etc. How successful they were is debatable because even into adulthood I've a tendency to assign blame/accept blame when it is apparently unwarranted according to those around me over the last couple of decades. Aka my first assumption is always "this must be my fault in some way." even if I can not see an immediate manner in which that could possibly be true. For context; my parents were actually poor because my mother never finished school, fell pregnant with me at 15, made poor life choices and her and my stepfather pissed most of their money away on cannabis for the duration of the time I was raised by them. Cannabis first, everything else later, if at all.
  - kirubakaran 3y ago
    It probably means nothing coming from a stranger, but I want to say it anyway: I'm so sorry you went through that. Hugs!

makeitdouble 3y ago

Paradoxally I think it can have the same kind of distanciation from money: it can be seen as easily disappearing and too much attachment/reliance on it hurts people. Looking at the study I also wondered why they chose something as controversial as real money.

almostnormal 3y ago

Maybe acquiring a necessity is less rewarding than acquiring something pursued for fun? The point I was trying to make is that a dollar is not a neutral reward, and may cause a different response, that might otherwise be the same in all groups for something as neutral as "points". That the response to rewards differs between poor and rich in general does't seem to be testable using a reward that both groups perceive differently.

samus 3y ago
Studying the different response to that reward is kinda the point of the paper though.

AliveShine 3y ago

how were you informed that it was your fault?

theshackleford 3y ago
The words "this is all you fault and we wish we never had you" and similar phrases and discussions, often including wishes they had followed through with abortions were used often and frequently. And this was not general, this was out and out "you are the reason we don't have money/can't do nice things/cant afford a mortgage" etc were levied at me again and again, over and over. For a significant chunk of my childhood my parents laid all faults in their life directly at my feet, to my face, when I had barely the capacity to understand the world around me let alone counter with any kind of argument. I was eventually removed from my parents through the assistance of the courts and my grandparents who were witness to the significant mental and physical abuse I suffered at the hand of my parents. They had to spend the remainder of my youth/teens attempting to reverse the idea I had gained that everything that occurred in life of a negative nature must be inherently my fault, and the behavioural issues I had picked up resulting from that. By explaining that adults make choices, choices I cant be held responsible for when I had yet to even be born, etc etc. How successful they were is debatable because even into adulthood I've a tendency to assign blame/accept blame when it is apparently unwarranted according to those around me over the last couple of decades. Aka my first assumption is always "this must be my fault in some way." even if I can not see an immediate manner in which that could possibly be true. For context; my parents were actually poor because my mother never finished school, fell pregnant with me at 15, made poor life choices and her and my stepfather pissed most of their money away on cannabis for the duration of the time I was raised by them. Cannabis first, everything else later, if at all.
- kirubakaran 3y ago
  It probably means nothing coming from a stranger, but I want to say it anyway: I'm so sorry you went through that. Hugs!