4 ms·

A dollar is not a dollar. A dollar is something different for kids than it is for their parents. A dollar for a kid of rich patents is not the same as a dollar

A dollar is not a dollar. A dollar is something different for kids than it is for their parents. A dollar for a kid of rich patents is not the same as a dollar for a kid of poorer parents. Poorer parents likely try to keep worries about money as far from their kids as they can, even if not easy. Rich parents might casually discuss investment ideas at a common dinner. As a result a dollar may be seen much more as a reward by kids of rich parents than by kids of poor parents.

theshackleford 3y ago
Anecdotal obviously, but mine made no such attempt. I was reminded constantly of our financial situation and furthermore, was normally informed through various means how it was my fault for one reason or another. Yay.
- makeitdouble 3y ago
  Paradoxally I think it can have the same kind of distanciation from money: it can be seen as easily disappearing and too much attachment/reliance on it hurts people. Looking at the study I also wondered why they chose something as controversial as real money.
- almostnormal 3y ago
  Maybe acquiring a necessity is less rewarding than acquiring something pursued for fun? The point I was trying to make is that a dollar is not a neutral reward, and may cause a different response, that might otherwise be the same in all groups for something as neutral as "points". That the response to rewards differs between poor and rich in general does't seem to be testable using a reward that both groups perceive differently.
  - samus 3y ago
    Studying the different response to that reward is kinda the point of the paper though.
- AliveShine 3y ago
  how were you informed that it was your fault?
  - theshackleford 3y ago
    The words "this is all you fault and we wish we never had you" and similar phrases and discussions, often including wishes they had followed through with abortions were used often and frequently. And this was not general, this was out and out "you are the reason we don't have money/can't do nice things/cant afford a mortgage" etc were levied at me again and again, over and over. For a significant chunk of my childhood my parents laid all faults in their life directly at my feet, to my face, when I had barely the capacity to understand the world around me let alone counter with any kind of argument. I was eventually removed from my parents through the assistance of the courts and my grandparents who were witness to the significant mental and physical abuse I suffered at the hand of my parents. They had to spend the remainder of my youth/teens attempting to reverse the idea I had gained that everything that occurred in life of a negative nature must be inherently my fault, and the behavioural issues I had picked up resulting from that. By explaining that adults make choices, choices I cant be held responsible for when I had yet to even be born, etc etc. How successful they were is debatable because even into adulthood I've a tendency to assign blame/accept blame when it is apparently unwarranted according to those around me over the last couple of decades. Aka my first assumption is always "this must be my fault in some way." even if I can not see an immediate manner in which that could possibly be true. For context; my parents were actually poor because my mother never finished school, fell pregnant with me at 15, made poor life choices and her and my stepfather pissed most of their money away on cannabis for the duration of the time I was raised by them. Cannabis first, everything else later, if at all.
    - kirubakaran 3y ago
      It probably means nothing coming from a stranger, but I want to say it anyway: I'm so sorry you went through that. Hugs!
JumpCrisscross 3y ago
> Poorer parents likely try to keep worries about money as far from their kids as they can, even if not easy. Rich parents might casually discuss investment ideas at a common dinner Somewhat more destructively, poor parents sometimes tell their kids money isn't important. There is an entire lower-class moral stack that regards money as sinful, which is difficult to disentangle from learned helplessness.
- justanotherjoe 3y ago
  umm... do you mean christianity? Cause that's not lower-class.
  - JumpCrisscross 3y ago
    > do you mean christianity? Cause that's not lower-class Attend services in upper-middle and high-income churches, and then in lower-middle and low-income churches. The messaging around money is different. Same when you hear parents teaching their kids.
    - justanotherjoe 3y ago
      i don't know. I think the lived reality of their lives is more the cause. I mean, if this study really is what it claims. You assign too much blame on people who are already unfortunate. I guess thats what sets me off.

theshackleford 3y ago

Anecdotal obviously, but mine made no such attempt. I was reminded constantly of our financial situation and furthermore, was normally informed through various means how it was my fault for one reason or another. Yay.

makeitdouble 3y ago
Paradoxally I think it can have the same kind of distanciation from money: it can be seen as easily disappearing and too much attachment/reliance on it hurts people. Looking at the study I also wondered why they chose something as controversial as real money.
almostnormal 3y ago
Maybe acquiring a necessity is less rewarding than acquiring something pursued for fun? The point I was trying to make is that a dollar is not a neutral reward, and may cause a different response, that might otherwise be the same in all groups for something as neutral as "points". That the response to rewards differs between poor and rich in general does't seem to be testable using a reward that both groups perceive differently.
- samus 3y ago
  Studying the different response to that reward is kinda the point of the paper though.
AliveShine 3y ago
how were you informed that it was your fault?
- theshackleford 3y ago
  The words "this is all you fault and we wish we never had you" and similar phrases and discussions, often including wishes they had followed through with abortions were used often and frequently. And this was not general, this was out and out "you are the reason we don't have money/can't do nice things/cant afford a mortgage" etc were levied at me again and again, over and over. For a significant chunk of my childhood my parents laid all faults in their life directly at my feet, to my face, when I had barely the capacity to understand the world around me let alone counter with any kind of argument. I was eventually removed from my parents through the assistance of the courts and my grandparents who were witness to the significant mental and physical abuse I suffered at the hand of my parents. They had to spend the remainder of my youth/teens attempting to reverse the idea I had gained that everything that occurred in life of a negative nature must be inherently my fault, and the behavioural issues I had picked up resulting from that. By explaining that adults make choices, choices I cant be held responsible for when I had yet to even be born, etc etc. How successful they were is debatable because even into adulthood I've a tendency to assign blame/accept blame when it is apparently unwarranted according to those around me over the last couple of decades. Aka my first assumption is always "this must be my fault in some way." even if I can not see an immediate manner in which that could possibly be true. For context; my parents were actually poor because my mother never finished school, fell pregnant with me at 15, made poor life choices and her and my stepfather pissed most of their money away on cannabis for the duration of the time I was raised by them. Cannabis first, everything else later, if at all.
  - kirubakaran 3y ago
    It probably means nothing coming from a stranger, but I want to say it anyway: I'm so sorry you went through that. Hugs!

JumpCrisscross 3y ago

> Poorer parents likely try to keep worries about money as far from their kids as they can, even if not easy. Rich parents might casually discuss investment ideas at a common dinner Somewhat more destructively, poor parents sometimes tell their kids money isn't important. There is an entire lower-class moral stack that regards money as sinful, which is difficult to disentangle from learned helplessness.

justanotherjoe 3y ago
umm... do you mean christianity? Cause that's not lower-class.
- JumpCrisscross 3y ago
  > do you mean christianity? Cause that's not lower-class Attend services in upper-middle and high-income churches, and then in lower-middle and low-income churches. The messaging around money is different. Same when you hear parents teaching their kids.
  - justanotherjoe 3y ago
    i don't know. I think the lived reality of their lives is more the cause. I mean, if this study really is what it claims. You assign too much blame on people who are already unfortunate. I guess thats what sets me off.