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"Your partner sees a frail person who has given up. Your kids see a failure. Someone who never reached for and got what they wanted. They not only pity you, but
by gcheong 15y ago
"Your partner sees a frail person who has given up. Your kids see a failure. Someone who never reached for and got what they wanted. They not only pity you, but they have contempt for you."
Well, I sure hope that if/when you may face a time where your passion has worn thin that your loved ones may find in themselves some compassion for you rather than pity or contempt. I think this actually is the default in most families than pity or contempt. Otherwise, what would be the point of having them?
- carguy1983 15y agoLOL yeah, in a perfect world. Here in reality, people are contemptuous.
- bitserf 15y agoYou've got a pretty negative view of people/life overall. I think your perception may be a self fulfilling prophecy. Going to go out on a limb and recommend reading Learned Optimism, by Martin Seligman. I have a predisposition to seeing the negative side of things myself, but I actively work on trying to minimise that. Life really is too short.
- carguy1983 15y agoAnd how exactly does reading self-help books affect how other people behave?
- LogicHoleFlaw 15y agoThe implication is that it is more important to adjust one's perception of the actions of others than it is to alter the actions of others.
- r00fus 15y agoYou sound as if you aren't living it. There is compassion, but in a large part, when everyone is stressed (including the kids) by schedule or performance there isn't enough time to really gain rapport, and contempt sets in for the ones who "can't handle it". This is the logical conclusion of not spending enough time together, or time spent together while one or more of an organizational unit are under serious duress. The way to alleviate is to enjoy "quality" time together - guess what folks don't have time to do when their stress levels are up?
- foxit 15y agoThere is a reason that long stretches of unemployment, accidents, and tragedies lead to divorce. It isn't because compassion is the default reaction to stress in most families.