My saddest observation is that I don't even have control over what comes out next, especially when talking/typing fast. "I" observe myself speaking, more than a

My saddest observation is that I don't even have control over what comes out next, especially when talking/typing fast. "I" observe myself speaking, more than anything. Sometimes, as I'm talking, I think "that's a good point!" because I didn't consciously make it, it was just part of this "magic stream" that I'm listening to as much as the person I'm speaking to is listening. I also find letting that stream flow is when I'm at my sharpest. Same with problem solving. I point my intention at something and answers come out, through "intuition" and "creativity" which are almost entirely autonomous/subconscious. This makes me fear getting old, where this magic machine probably fades, almost certainly leaving me pointing my intention, and starting up sentences, without much happening after. I'm afraid I'll be left with my conscious self, which I don't find as entertaining.