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Have you talked to her about it? Only you and her can figure it out. That you love her is a positive thing. Partners can be like chalk and cheese. To expect a

Have you talked to her about it? Only you and her can figure it out. That you love her is a positive thing. Partners can be like chalk and cheese. To expect a single human being to tick all of your boxes is naive. This is why people have friends and peers. Understanding that peers don't necessarily have to mean unfriendly competitors is a big one. What do you want from the relationship long-term? Do you both want the kids you want to try for? Do you both want to build something? Anything? Have fun? Or have you not really sat and thought about it or spoken about it with her? You have different kinds of relationships with different kinds of people. They're all different. Again, only you and her can answer these questions. Here's a curveball question: have you ever considered that you might be autistic? I'm autistic, I have asked these sorts of questions before. You should want to stay because you love her and want a future with her. Another curveball question: do you want kids generally, or do you specifically want kids with her?

tetris11 3y ago
We have talked, and we're currently freshly broken up. It's killing me. I've had breakups before, but this feels like I'm mourning a happy future with children where she would be a great mother. We both want kids. We really bond over home repair and long bike rides and walks, but due to a language barrier, we struggle to convey complex topics to one another. It constantly feels like we're babying each other. When I speak with my colleagues who have better English, I constantly feel like I learn more from them than I ever will from her, and that makes me sad. > You should want to stay because you love her and want a future with her. Genuinely, I thought love was enough. I do want a future with her, but I also want her to be a little smarter and more perceptive and more interested in things around her. She's made great strides in the years we've been together; using wikipedia to learn the context of things, asking follow up questions to topics I bring up, she really tries... I'm just not sure if she will get there. > Here's a curveball question: have you ever considered that you might be autistic? Apparently I'm low on the spectrum according to an online quiz I just took > Another curveball question: do you want kids generally, or do you specifically want kids with her? I want to have kids, and I want her to have kids because she'd be a wonderful mother. It doesn't have to be with me, but I feel this sense of guilt that I'm robbing her of this future

tetris11 3y ago

We have talked, and we're currently freshly broken up. It's killing me. I've had breakups before, but this feels like I'm mourning a happy future with children where she would be a great mother. We both want kids. We really bond over home repair and long bike rides and walks, but due to a language barrier, we struggle to convey complex topics to one another. It constantly feels like we're babying each other. When I speak with my colleagues who have better English, I constantly feel like I learn more from them than I ever will from her, and that makes me sad. > You should want to stay because you love her and want a future with her. Genuinely, I thought love was enough. I do want a future with her, but I also want her to be a little smarter and more perceptive and more interested in things around her. She's made great strides in the years we've been together; using wikipedia to learn the context of things, asking follow up questions to topics I bring up, she really tries... I'm just not sure if she will get there. > Here's a curveball question: have you ever considered that you might be autistic? Apparently I'm low on the spectrum according to an online quiz I just took > Another curveball question: do you want kids generally, or do you specifically want kids with her? I want to have kids, and I want her to have kids because she'd be a wonderful mother. It doesn't have to be with me, but I feel this sense of guilt that I'm robbing her of this future