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I had suspected something like that in myself. I have no trouble reading social cues but am often overly sensitive to them and overreact or freeze up and avoid

I had suspected something like that in myself. I have no trouble reading social cues but am often overly sensitive to them and overreact or freeze up and avoid talking to people or showing emotion out of anxiety, which in some ways is just as bad as being unable to read cues. In my case I think its due to issues with my father who was not abusive but angry and unpredictable, and unable to empathise with or mirror anyone else’s emotional state. This lead to a lot of trust issues with people that probably comes across as autism but is more anxiety and social awkwardness.

kafkaenjoyer24 3y ago
I can relate to this as well. Father figure with narcissistic traits. Everything had to be done his ways and other opinions were never respected. No empathy at all. As a result I think I formed some kind of protection shell. Outwards I appeared indifferent, apathic or stoic while the kernel was very sensitive. In my teens I suspected psychopathic tendencies because of this shell. At other times Aspergers but it didn't fully match. Nowadays I guess I have developed some kind of schizoid personality.
- smeej 3y ago
  Internal Family Systems therapy has helped me understand and work through this a lot. I have a very robotic "manager" part that spent a lot of time running things for me. It takes input from the nearest authority figure and precisely meets expectations, but doesn't feel, doesn't internalize, doesn't connect. It was protecting a lot of confused, vulnerable little parts that had been kind of pushed out of conscious awareness when I was young, because it sounds like we had similar fathers. I heard this great line that really helped crystalize part of it for me too: When children are dealing with unstable parents, they don't doubt the parent. They doubt themselves. They don't stop loving the parent. They stop loving themselves. It's a process I'm still working through every day, but at least it finally feels like I'm moving forward, not backward or spinning my wheels in place.

kafkaenjoyer24 3y ago

I can relate to this as well. Father figure with narcissistic traits. Everything had to be done his ways and other opinions were never respected. No empathy at all. As a result I think I formed some kind of protection shell. Outwards I appeared indifferent, apathic or stoic while the kernel was very sensitive. In my teens I suspected psychopathic tendencies because of this shell. At other times Aspergers but it didn't fully match. Nowadays I guess I have developed some kind of schizoid personality.

smeej 3y ago
Internal Family Systems therapy has helped me understand and work through this a lot. I have a very robotic "manager" part that spent a lot of time running things for me. It takes input from the nearest authority figure and precisely meets expectations, but doesn't feel, doesn't internalize, doesn't connect. It was protecting a lot of confused, vulnerable little parts that had been kind of pushed out of conscious awareness when I was young, because it sounds like we had similar fathers. I heard this great line that really helped crystalize part of it for me too: When children are dealing with unstable parents, they don't doubt the parent. They doubt themselves. They don't stop loving the parent. They stop loving themselves. It's a process I'm still working through every day, but at least it finally feels like I'm moving forward, not backward or spinning my wheels in place.