5 ms·

Many opinions? Huh? We both have autism diagnosis and there are so many traits we recognize in our children (5 y.o. female, 3 y.o. male) that in a few years du

by Fnoord 3y ago

Many opinions? Huh? We both have autism diagnosis and there are so many traits we recognize in our children (5 y.o. female, 3 y.o. male) that in a few years during a heteroanamnesis they also will surely ding ding the boxes. From stimmung to all kind of other behavior we also expressed in our youth. But we remained undiagnosed until well into adulthood and we want our children to land more softly than that.

lcnPylGDnU4H9OF 3y ago
“Many opinions” meaning to include many medical professionals in the process. “Many” being “more than one” because I’m a sort-of DBA professionally. I just mean that I commonly hear the advice to get a second or third opinion, or otherwise to involve a team of professionals, were one to seek a diagnosis.
- Fnoord 3y ago
  My wife's second opinion meant she got her autism diagnosis because she previously got a different diagnosis. Meanwhile her sister got ADHD diagnosis but second opinion also autism diagnosis. Their brother is as obvious on the spectrum, having the more obvious classical traits (by the T). Our diagnosis involved heteroanamnesis, and many, many questionnaires and interviews. By a team with each being a specialist in the field on a different facet. I cannot recommend getting tested enough. Because those who suspect likely researched into it, and are being told traits get recognized or they're facing challenges in their life. But I live in a country with a sort of working social system which (although weakened) so mandatory insurance worked. If you do not have access to that I'd sing a different tune... and in such a society it is very likely a lot of undiagnosed and stuck people are runnin' around.
wegfawefgawefg 3y ago
To know might be a crutch, or a chip on the shoulder for another. At the end of the day, self acceptance must come with or without diagnosis.
- shermantanktop 3y ago
  Labels are freeing. Labels are also confining and limiting.
- Fnoord 3y ago
  Yeah my first psychiatrist (who prescribed me citalopram vs depression/anxiety and methylphenidate vs symptoms of AD(H)D but only gave me GAD diagnosis) must've thought along that line. Cause he told me [paraphrasing] he could give me a lot more diagnoses which wouldn't help me. Well, I'd love to have known earlier in my life. Because all my pros and cons, my personality can be deducted to the root being ASD. Meanwhile, my cousin had asperger diagnosis and my mother told me that describes me as well. ASD runs in my family, in both sides. Anyway, I firmly disagree. Self acceptance knowing you are wired differently and understanding aspects like Theory of Mind are a great opportunity to better function. The earlier the person learns to deal with these fundamentals (with which they likely WILL face issues with including in early childhood), the better. Case in point: my 5 y.o. daughter just does not read her little brother's social cues. She cannot fathom he does not want X or Y.
  - tthhrroowwaawwa 3y ago
    What if anything do you do in practice to help in those situations where she doesn't read his social cues?
    - Fnoord 3y ago
      Very good question. I explain her needs and desires do not necessarily align with his and that she must try to notice his (I describe them like do you hear he is yelling because of XYZ). This is largely futile. Because she notices he yells but doesn't understand why. He's only 3, so he mostly plays parallel (normal for his age). I also describe the circumstances of the situation. Usually it is before dinnertime. So I explain right before dinner isn't a good time to play together. Because they trigger each other. So it is a good time to play solo and respect each other's boundaries. At that time they're hangry and difficult, so often some drama isn't avoidable. Unfortunately some triggers cannot be avoided. They have to go bath sometimes, and we settled for once a week. He hates to wash his hair. Our daughter had same, as did I.

by Fnoord 3y ago

lcnPylGDnU4H9OF 3y ago

“Many opinions” meaning to include many medical professionals in the process. “Many” being “more than one” because I’m a sort-of DBA professionally. I just mean that I commonly hear the advice to get a second or third opinion, or otherwise to involve a team of professionals, were one to seek a diagnosis.

Fnoord 3y ago
My wife's second opinion meant she got her autism diagnosis because she previously got a different diagnosis. Meanwhile her sister got ADHD diagnosis but second opinion also autism diagnosis. Their brother is as obvious on the spectrum, having the more obvious classical traits (by the T). Our diagnosis involved heteroanamnesis, and many, many questionnaires and interviews. By a team with each being a specialist in the field on a different facet. I cannot recommend getting tested enough. Because those who suspect likely researched into it, and are being told traits get recognized or they're facing challenges in their life. But I live in a country with a sort of working social system which (although weakened) so mandatory insurance worked. If you do not have access to that I'd sing a different tune... and in such a society it is very likely a lot of undiagnosed and stuck people are runnin' around.

wegfawefgawefg 3y ago

To know might be a crutch, or a chip on the shoulder for another. At the end of the day, self acceptance must come with or without diagnosis.

shermantanktop 3y ago
Labels are freeing. Labels are also confining and limiting.
Fnoord 3y ago
Yeah my first psychiatrist (who prescribed me citalopram vs depression/anxiety and methylphenidate vs symptoms of AD(H)D but only gave me GAD diagnosis) must've thought along that line. Cause he told me [paraphrasing] he could give me a lot more diagnoses which wouldn't help me. Well, I'd love to have known earlier in my life. Because all my pros and cons, my personality can be deducted to the root being ASD. Meanwhile, my cousin had asperger diagnosis and my mother told me that describes me as well. ASD runs in my family, in both sides. Anyway, I firmly disagree. Self acceptance knowing you are wired differently and understanding aspects like Theory of Mind are a great opportunity to better function. The earlier the person learns to deal with these fundamentals (with which they likely WILL face issues with including in early childhood), the better. Case in point: my 5 y.o. daughter just does not read her little brother's social cues. She cannot fathom he does not want X or Y.
- tthhrroowwaawwa 3y ago
  What if anything do you do in practice to help in those situations where she doesn't read his social cues?
  - Fnoord 3y ago
    Very good question. I explain her needs and desires do not necessarily align with his and that she must try to notice his (I describe them like do you hear he is yelling because of XYZ). This is largely futile. Because she notices he yells but doesn't understand why. He's only 3, so he mostly plays parallel (normal for his age). I also describe the circumstances of the situation. Usually it is before dinnertime. So I explain right before dinner isn't a good time to play together. Because they trigger each other. So it is a good time to play solo and respect each other's boundaries. At that time they're hangry and difficult, so often some drama isn't avoidable. Unfortunately some triggers cannot be avoided. They have to go bath sometimes, and we settled for once a week. He hates to wash his hair. Our daughter had same, as did I.