It does seem a bit like a fight against what might otherwise become the death of their self-image. The difference between it and actual grief seems to be that

It does seem a bit like a fight against what might otherwise become the death of their self-image. The difference between it and actual grief seems to be that the unwanted outcome is not inevitable here. Sometimes this works. Hopefully we can make it less and less likely to work over time by raising awareness of the tactic.