People can tell you stuff, but ultimately we learn best from experience. And unfortunately, as much as we want to avoid others making the mistakes we did, exper

People can tell you stuff, but ultimately we learn best from experience. And unfortunately, as much as we want to avoid others making the mistakes we did, experience doesn't work like that. We had a plan for college. We had a plan for work. We had a plan gor marriage, giving birth, raising the kids, and so on. No plan survives contact with the enemy. I smile now when pregnant couples tell me how they plan to spend their hobby time after the child is born. No worries, I'll be back in art class after a month. My wife says I'll still play golf on Saturdays. Of course we can raise kids in a house with a clean white carpet. I could tell you it won't be like that (and, if I'm honest, that you won't -want- it to be like that), but you won't believe me. Pre-marital planning is helpful (full disclosure, I did a class with my wife before we got married) - if for nothing else than giving us confidence we were on the same page. But we covered all the big topics (finance, kids, communication, conflict) which meant we -knew- we were on the same page. Other people, with other personalities may or may not find it helpful. I can offer you good advice, but I can't make you take it. Experience doesn't work like that. (For the record, you won't want to go to evening class, you'll want to sleep. And you won't be playing golf 'cause you, or her, will want to sleep. It's truly amazing how high on the priority list getting sleep will get.)