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Or maybe you just learn that you don't have to put up with being miserable your entire adult life instead of being naive and blind to what life has to offer you
by MisterBastahrd 3y ago
Or maybe you just learn that you don't have to put up with being miserable your entire adult life instead of being naive and blind to what life has to offer you. I know plenty of couples who are around or near their 50th wedding anniversaries, most with their high school sweethearts.
None of them are what I'd call "in love" with each other. They all go through the motions and they all pretty much live separate lives aside from doctor's visits and chores. They've all been miserable together for years.
- bad_user 3y agoI can't speak for the couples you know, although you're trying a generalization that seems wrong, so it's worth saying that having a spouse to call family, to share your life with, in its fullness, transcends any short term hormonal reactions and pleasure. I'm 40, and it's interesting to me that culture evolved such that younger generations prefer pleasure as a life purpose; and yet younger generations seem to be pretty sad, many still childless and living alone or with their parents well into their 30s. I think this is a serious cultural issue. Pleasure does not give you purpose or long term happiness for that matter. Growing a family does give you purpose. I am not saying that people shouldn't get divorced, which can be wonderful. People shouldn't feel miserable in their home. But if you divorce 2 or 3 times, maybe it's time to consider that you're to blame and change behavior before it's too late.
- AnimalMuppet 3y agoMarried 33 years, still in love. Not in the honeymoon, first-love stage, but not just going through the motions and living separate lives, either. Definitely not miserable together. Some low-level unhappiness around the edges, but not miserable.