> Ironically I feel as though this attitude of mine tends to be detrimental during the dating phase. I give them way too much attention and they lose respect fo

> Ironically I feel as though this attitude of mine tends to be detrimental during the dating phase. I give them way too much attention and they lose respect for me. Without knowing you or your partners at all ... I'd expect people to feel uncomfortable because you are not seeing them - you are acting on your "obsession" (to use your word), and not based on them and the attention need, want, when and how, who they are, etc. They could be anyone; it has little to do with them as a person, and that understanding for and compassion for the individual is the whole point of a (healthy, IMHO) relationship.