3 ms·

These are the stereotypes: (that mostly track my experiences living in different parts of the country) In the northeast, people are kind but not nice. They'll

by wenc 3y ago

These are the stereotypes: (that mostly track my experiences living in different parts of the country) In the northeast, people are kind but not nice. They'll help you out when you have flat tire but may grumble under their breath that you might need to learn how to change your tires yourself. It takes a long time to get to know them, but once you do, they'll take their shirts off their backs for you. In the pacific northwest, people are nice but not kind. They'll be super polite to you but when you ask for help or ask to hang out, they'll snub you. They're mostly homebodies and they already have enough friends, no room for more. In the midwest, people are kind and nice. They'll help you out and they'll invite you to their homes for a meal. But they are somewhat cautious of outsiders. In the south, people mostly just have a nice façade that is skin deep. They'll be nice and friendly to you and talk to you all day, but they may not care that much for you at all. Their friendliness is more about them wanting to feel that they are nice people, and less about them actually caring about you. Many will talk behind your back ("bless your heart" culture). Terms like Seattle Freeze, Minnesota Nice, Southern Hospitality are all overgeneralizations and don't apply to each individual, but nevertheless capture a part of the culture that is at least somewhat true. For instance, a 2008 survey showed WA state ranked 48th out of 50 in trait extraversion. Seattle definitely feels socially different from other places -- it is very palpable. Here's the paper ranking 50 US states on the Five Factor model (Extraversion, Agreeableness, Conscientiousness, Neuroticism and Openness) https://pdodds.w3.uvm.edu/research/papers/others/2008/rentfrow2008a.pdf https://pdodds.w3.uvm.edu/research/papers/others/2008/rentfr...

bee_rider 3y ago
The only thing I don’t really like about the “kind but not nice” formulation is that (as someone from the Northeast), it seems to give us, like, the obviously good trait. At least I read it as implying pretty heavily by separating out “kind” and “nice” that “kind” is the authentic and important thing and “nice” is some superficial and therefor not as good trait. So I would feel too self-congratulatory, using it. I prefer to think we all just have different ways of showing that we care.
- Jensson 3y ago
  > it seems to give us, like, the obviously good trait That is from your perspective, everyone think that their culture is the "obviously good one", we value what we were taught to value. You value those traits since you came from that culture, a person from a "show happiness and spread warmth" culture will think that their way is the obviously superior one and that the culture you think is superior is making the worse bleak and depressing so not good at all.
  - bee_rider 3y ago
    I mean, I can see a positive reading of the other “kind” description, the Midwest. And I think it is sort of telling that the original commenter felt the need to sort of balance it out with a negative note about perceptions of outsiders, there. Fine, you could quibble about perspectives for most of the other ones, but it seems like an abjectly negative description of the South.

by wenc 3y ago

bee_rider 3y ago

The only thing I don’t really like about the “kind but not nice” formulation is that (as someone from the Northeast), it seems to give us, like, the obviously good trait. At least I read it as implying pretty heavily by separating out “kind” and “nice” that “kind” is the authentic and important thing and “nice” is some superficial and therefor not as good trait. So I would feel too self-congratulatory, using it. I prefer to think we all just have different ways of showing that we care.

Jensson 3y ago
> it seems to give us, like, the obviously good trait That is from your perspective, everyone think that their culture is the "obviously good one", we value what we were taught to value. You value those traits since you came from that culture, a person from a "show happiness and spread warmth" culture will think that their way is the obviously superior one and that the culture you think is superior is making the worse bleak and depressing so not good at all.
- bee_rider 3y ago
  I mean, I can see a positive reading of the other “kind” description, the Midwest. And I think it is sort of telling that the original commenter felt the need to sort of balance it out with a negative note about perceptions of outsiders, there. Fine, you could quibble about perspectives for most of the other ones, but it seems like an abjectly negative description of the South.