3 ms·
> When my son’s teacher told my mom she was being appreciated as a grandmother, she emphasized that my mom was special to her grandchildren— a domain over which
by 9dev 3y ago
> When my son’s teacher told my mom she was being appreciated as a grandmother, she emphasized that my mom was special to her grandchildren— a domain over which she could claim to have some authority, being the teacher of my son. This is not fake at all: it is just a feeling that comes from a focus on those features or accomplishments that would give the other person reason to feel good about themselves. You are a wonderful grandmother [...]
But here's what I don't understand. The teacher doesn't actually know whether her mother was a wonderful grandmother -- after all, she just got to know her! I get that the intent is to make another person feel good about themselves, but if you praise anything and everyone, how does this praise convey anything special?
Edit: I guess my actual question is this: How do you tell plain courtesy from actual commendation? When do you know someone actually means it?
- kazen44 3y ago> I get that the intent is to make another person feel good about themselves, but if you praise anything and everyone, how does this praise convey anything special? i have noticed that the inverse also exists. Especially in northern/eastern europe. Calling out the cynical truth and how everything is bad but could also be so much worse seems to be way for people to connect. This often happens in a crisis situation aswell.
- dotnet00 3y agoI think it can be reasonably believed that the teacher must've meant it. She doesn't know the grandmother, but she does know the kids, and kids tend to be fairly open about excitedly telling their friends that their grandma is visiting. Eg my niece's teachers know she really enjoys it when I visit despite never having met me because she draws me often. It can also just be seen as an appreciation towards the grandmother for being there enough for the kids to come to the meeting.