That's another lesson from my first couple years of management, but then what does "merit" even mean? Within the context of my organization I'm doing fine. By

That's another lesson from my first couple years of management, but then what does "merit" even mean? Within the context of my organization I'm doing fine. By market norms? Pretty sure I make more than a "good" manager at a small or medium-size company. By the happiness of those around me? I think my employer is generally a pretty miserable place to work, but my team seems generally happier than many of the other peer teams within the company, so within my sphere of control I seem to be doing okay there too. Besides, I care about the happiness of my family more than my company, and doing well at the arbitrary-and-kinda-pointless metrics set for me lets us afford a house in a nice area, a good education for the kids in a healthy social environment, and hopefully soon more time with them.