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Your reply just reinforces the impression I got from the original post. Someone with twenty years experience writing compilers could not "explain ... what they

Your reply just reinforces the impression I got from the original post. Someone with twenty years experience writing compilers could not "explain ... what they did" in any reasonable amount of time, and not in a way you would understand it at their level, or at the level needed to write a compiler. That's true of all complex skills. You might think you understand or "grok" something because you don't have to produce value with the expertise you think you have. What you describe usually gets called "book learning," an often necessary but usually insufficient degree of familiarity with a subject. Hundreds of thousands of people who took university classes or read a book or went to a boot camp believe they can write professional/commercial-quality software. They delude themselves, and employers understand the difference between reading a book about programming and having experience writing production code, working in a team, understanding and delivering on business requirements. The increasingly high unemployment and diminished job prospects for junior and inexperienced developers reflects that reality -- employers want people who can walk the walk, not just talk the talk. Humility and modesty come with maturity and age for most people. We all figure out eventually that a lot of smart and curious and talented people inhabit the world, we're less special than we think we are, or our parents and teachers told us we are. Good luck with the "hard parts" of mastering complex skills. Practice and some humility will probably pay off better over the long term than telling yourself you can "grok" everything in a ridiculously short time compared to everyone else.

mettamage 3y ago
I really appreciate the answer. I find it sad that I disagree. The viewpoint you lay out is super clear and I've seen people react to me like that before. I just can't reconcile it. I'm trying to (otherwise I wouldn't have posted this question in the first place). In the 4 years that I've worked as a software engineer, the hardest thing I've ever done was a university course where I had to analyze binary programs with IDA Pro. I find it odd how after being 4 years in the field there are still a handful of university courses that were clearly tougher. The best programmer I know personally agrees with this assessment as he was my course mate (I'm nowhere near his skill level, and he's always considered to be the C++ expert no matter what company he applies to). I've talked with friends - all of whom have more experience than I do given that I was in uni for 8 years - about this and I got a myriad of different responses. HFT developers seem to program actual hard things that I don't have experience in. Ethical hacking seems to be in its infancy in many companies making it possible for me to go that route (source: a friend did this and he was at a similar skill level). There's a huge difference between being a pentester for a corporate of a big HR company compared to Google's Project Zero. CRUD developers for web apps for startups seem to agree with me. I wonder if it's true for people working at a big corporate and doing CRUD, that I wouldn't know. For as far as I've noticed, being able to do a good job is mostly contingent on motivation. When my motivation is at the level of dedicating my life towards it for whatever period of time I'm working on it, it seems I get the job done at a satisfactory to exceptional level (most of the time). This has also been true for my friends. > Practice and some humility will probably pay off better For the past 4 years I've pretended to be humble, because people can deal with me better. The thing is I'm not. And neither am I humble for the capabilities of many people. Many people are insanely good at anything when sufficiently motivated. The reason I'm posting what I'm posting now is because I need coaching and I want to be authentic. I've been hiding myself and it's eating at me. I get paid, and people are happy with my work, but it's making me feel soulless. In an ideal world I'd start a company. However, understanding markets and market dynamics is insanely hard. It is as hard as actual investing and actual trading. It's not a financial risk I can afford, despite the fact that I think it suits my skills much better. Startups are a good environment, but the stress is in many cases too much. I agree with that there are many talented/smart people.
- gregjor 3y ago
  I can't offer any constructive advice. The older I get the more I understand that I know almost nothing. I can't empathize. Since you mentioned grokking Buddhism you might reflect on the Four Noble Truths, and the necessity of humbly valuing others and not striving in order to get closer to enlightenment. > For as far as I've noticed, being able to do a good job is mostly contingent on motivation. Motivation helps, but without understanding and skill your motivation will only get you so far. The people who perform best feel comfortable and confident doing what they know how to do. You can see that watching them work -- it seems effortless and calm. You can't fake that, and no amount of wanting to perform will make up for lack of skill and experience. For me the most thoughtful discussion of what we can call quality and effort comes from Zen And The Art Of Motorcycle Maintenance.
  - mettamage 3y ago
    Thanks :) Good book recommedation!

mettamage 3y ago

I really appreciate the answer. I find it sad that I disagree. The viewpoint you lay out is super clear and I've seen people react to me like that before. I just can't reconcile it. I'm trying to (otherwise I wouldn't have posted this question in the first place). In the 4 years that I've worked as a software engineer, the hardest thing I've ever done was a university course where I had to analyze binary programs with IDA Pro. I find it odd how after being 4 years in the field there are still a handful of university courses that were clearly tougher. The best programmer I know personally agrees with this assessment as he was my course mate (I'm nowhere near his skill level, and he's always considered to be the C++ expert no matter what company he applies to). I've talked with friends - all of whom have more experience than I do given that I was in uni for 8 years - about this and I got a myriad of different responses. HFT developers seem to program actual hard things that I don't have experience in. Ethical hacking seems to be in its infancy in many companies making it possible for me to go that route (source: a friend did this and he was at a similar skill level). There's a huge difference between being a pentester for a corporate of a big HR company compared to Google's Project Zero. CRUD developers for web apps for startups seem to agree with me. I wonder if it's true for people working at a big corporate and doing CRUD, that I wouldn't know. For as far as I've noticed, being able to do a good job is mostly contingent on motivation. When my motivation is at the level of dedicating my life towards it for whatever period of time I'm working on it, it seems I get the job done at a satisfactory to exceptional level (most of the time). This has also been true for my friends. > Practice and some humility will probably pay off better For the past 4 years I've pretended to be humble, because people can deal with me better. The thing is I'm not. And neither am I humble for the capabilities of many people. Many people are insanely good at anything when sufficiently motivated. The reason I'm posting what I'm posting now is because I need coaching and I want to be authentic. I've been hiding myself and it's eating at me. I get paid, and people are happy with my work, but it's making me feel soulless. In an ideal world I'd start a company. However, understanding markets and market dynamics is insanely hard. It is as hard as actual investing and actual trading. It's not a financial risk I can afford, despite the fact that I think it suits my skills much better. Startups are a good environment, but the stress is in many cases too much. I agree with that there are many talented/smart people.

gregjor 3y ago
I can't offer any constructive advice. The older I get the more I understand that I know almost nothing. I can't empathize. Since you mentioned grokking Buddhism you might reflect on the Four Noble Truths, and the necessity of humbly valuing others and not striving in order to get closer to enlightenment. > For as far as I've noticed, being able to do a good job is mostly contingent on motivation. Motivation helps, but without understanding and skill your motivation will only get you so far. The people who perform best feel comfortable and confident doing what they know how to do. You can see that watching them work -- it seems effortless and calm. You can't fake that, and no amount of wanting to perform will make up for lack of skill and experience. For me the most thoughtful discussion of what we can call quality and effort comes from Zen And The Art Of Motorcycle Maintenance.
- mettamage 3y ago
  Thanks :) Good book recommedation!