4 ms·

either you've never had kids, or you had the incrediblly good fortune to have found them a daycare that required little or no departure from your normal work c

either you've never had kids, or you had the incrediblly good fortune to have found them a daycare that required little or no departure from your normal work commute. Or you had a stay-at-home nanny or similar arrangement, which I would put up there in the incredibly good fortune category.

grepfru_it 3y ago
My daycare was 20 minutes off-route which increased to 45 minutes off-route when we moved. However I was a senior leader that was paid the salary to lead high stakes projects. YMMV
- hot_gril 3y ago
  So you spent a total of 90 minutes extra each day going to/from daycare. It sounds like the daycare should've been closer. At your pay rate, how much money was that time worth monthly?
  - ChainOfFools 3y ago
    I didn't understand the point of OP's own goal either. seems pretty unlikely that someone who lived that experience as described would not notice the obviously bad tradeoff they are making, and that this would hardly be something to be (apparently) proud of. But he got a chance to portray himself as a Senior Somebody making Important Decisions, so there's that. All the people I know, whose circumstances I don't share except by second-order family relations, and who are indeed well paid senior engineers, actually do have live-in nannies or au pairs. Which is why I mentioned that possibility.
    - grepfru_it 3y ago
      >I didn’t understand the point of OP’s own goal >circumstances I don’t share You got my viewpoint and I can clarify if you would like. My goal was to ensure the best upraising of my child. This includes social interaction, so a nanny was a nonstarter. So the 20 minute commute was considered an acceptable trade off (just as others may consider the lack of social interaction in selecting a nanny). When we purchased a new home we factored in the additional 50 minute loss in time and once again put our childrens consideration over our own. When you are in a leadership position and have to consider the real fact of working over 40 hours a week, those benefits or lack thereof become a factor you (and thus the company) must consider. I hope this helps you understand, especially one day in the future when you are in this position!
      - ChainOfFools 3y ago
        I don't share their circumstances because they're in finance whereas I'm the owner of a consulting business specializing in the facilitation of remote work for other companies (including some of theirs). So although my calendar is marked busy for months out I'm pretty free to determine what 'busy' means, and can spend time with my kids under terms I thus see fit. Still, daycare is indeed important for social development, commuting is not, and dead time in the car is a waste of both time and money. On that note, per the other comment, the family I'm referring to all live in midtown manhattan where nannies and au pairs are the norm, and socialization amongst such families comes with the ecosystem. I assume people who have nannies in other built-up regions operate the same way, but maybe your mileage does vary.
        deleted 3y ago
        [deleted]
  - grepfru_it 3y ago
    Sounds like I should have been closer, but sometimes you don’t find a learning program that is close by. Turns out the high school we should put our daughter in will be an hour long commute. This decision is not purely monetary and does not involve the company I work(ed) for. There will be a time in everyone’s career when they must make a decision that will remove them from their personal time and is not the fault of the company. Sure losing daycare benefit is a fault. Deciding to put your child in a lesser program because it won’t impact your commute has nothing to do with your job and entirely everything to do with you being a parent.. In my case I will pay to ensure the best upbringing for my children. And this means financially (paying for the best education) and temporally (waiting in traffic to pick them up from said learning institute).

grepfru_it 3y ago

My daycare was 20 minutes off-route which increased to 45 minutes off-route when we moved. However I was a senior leader that was paid the salary to lead high stakes projects. YMMV

hot_gril 3y ago
So you spent a total of 90 minutes extra each day going to/from daycare. It sounds like the daycare should've been closer. At your pay rate, how much money was that time worth monthly?
- ChainOfFools 3y ago
  I didn't understand the point of OP's own goal either. seems pretty unlikely that someone who lived that experience as described would not notice the obviously bad tradeoff they are making, and that this would hardly be something to be (apparently) proud of. But he got a chance to portray himself as a Senior Somebody making Important Decisions, so there's that. All the people I know, whose circumstances I don't share except by second-order family relations, and who are indeed well paid senior engineers, actually do have live-in nannies or au pairs. Which is why I mentioned that possibility.
  - grepfru_it 3y ago
    >I didn’t understand the point of OP’s own goal >circumstances I don’t share You got my viewpoint and I can clarify if you would like. My goal was to ensure the best upraising of my child. This includes social interaction, so a nanny was a nonstarter. So the 20 minute commute was considered an acceptable trade off (just as others may consider the lack of social interaction in selecting a nanny). When we purchased a new home we factored in the additional 50 minute loss in time and once again put our childrens consideration over our own. When you are in a leadership position and have to consider the real fact of working over 40 hours a week, those benefits or lack thereof become a factor you (and thus the company) must consider. I hope this helps you understand, especially one day in the future when you are in this position!
    - ChainOfFools 3y ago
      I don't share their circumstances because they're in finance whereas I'm the owner of a consulting business specializing in the facilitation of remote work for other companies (including some of theirs). So although my calendar is marked busy for months out I'm pretty free to determine what 'busy' means, and can spend time with my kids under terms I thus see fit. Still, daycare is indeed important for social development, commuting is not, and dead time in the car is a waste of both time and money. On that note, per the other comment, the family I'm referring to all live in midtown manhattan where nannies and au pairs are the norm, and socialization amongst such families comes with the ecosystem. I assume people who have nannies in other built-up regions operate the same way, but maybe your mileage does vary.
      - deleted 3y ago
        [deleted]
- grepfru_it 3y ago
  Sounds like I should have been closer, but sometimes you don’t find a learning program that is close by. Turns out the high school we should put our daughter in will be an hour long commute. This decision is not purely monetary and does not involve the company I work(ed) for. There will be a time in everyone’s career when they must make a decision that will remove them from their personal time and is not the fault of the company. Sure losing daycare benefit is a fault. Deciding to put your child in a lesser program because it won’t impact your commute has nothing to do with your job and entirely everything to do with you being a parent.. In my case I will pay to ensure the best upbringing for my children. And this means financially (paying for the best education) and temporally (waiting in traffic to pick them up from said learning institute).