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I use the “I’m not negotiating, I’m telling” line with my kids sometimes. It’s usually out of frustration, and I usually feel bad about it afterward. There’s us

I use the “I’m not negotiating, I’m telling” line with my kids sometimes. It’s usually out of frustration, and I usually feel bad about it afterward. There’s usually a better way to handle the conversation. Something more collaborative—which would make even more sense here, given that they’re presenting this move as being good for collaboration. If an adult spoke to me like that in the context of any type of relationship, I would immediately look for a way out. Maybe that’s the point here. Yes, there’s a hierarchy at work, and those at the top have the right to make the rules. But the smug condescension in this video says “I haven’t made the business case for this or I haven’t effectively communicated it, so I’m just resorting to ‘because I said so’”. Not the kind of environment I’d want to be part of.

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wolverine876 3y ago
Many insightful points, thank you. Any concrete suggestions on how it could be communicated?
- el_benhameen 3y ago
  If I worked there, my preference would have been a video with just the CEO giving an honest talk about what the changes are and what they’re basing the changes on. It might be data; if so, explain the data. It might just be the preference of the executive team; that’s their prerogative, but I think it’s worth being honest about it. Show some empathy for the people who are affected (“I understand that there are members of our team who would prefer to remain remote, and I understand that this move will impact their lifestyles” or something), and then be kind and unthreatening but firm about the decision (“but it’s my belief that these changes are necessary for xyz reasons, so we’re going to require x in-person days per week”). It’s still clear that it’s not optional, but there’s less of a “gfy” tone. I get that the intro with silly office shots and lots of different members of the management team is meant to provide some levity, but making a significant, unilateral change to an employment agreement isn’t a situation that calls for levity, and so it comes off as disrespectful and condescending. I think that getting straight to the point and being honest about it is a better approach.
  - wolverine876 3y ago
    I think your idea is a good one, and especially > empathy I still don't see the video as a problem. Most of the comments here (not yours) are jumping on the ridicule bandwagon, so I don't know if I have a blind spot, in which case I need to be careful with how I communicate, or if a lot of it is that bandwagon.

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wolverine876 3y ago

Many insightful points, thank you. Any concrete suggestions on how it could be communicated?

el_benhameen 3y ago
If I worked there, my preference would have been a video with just the CEO giving an honest talk about what the changes are and what they’re basing the changes on. It might be data; if so, explain the data. It might just be the preference of the executive team; that’s their prerogative, but I think it’s worth being honest about it. Show some empathy for the people who are affected (“I understand that there are members of our team who would prefer to remain remote, and I understand that this move will impact their lifestyles” or something), and then be kind and unthreatening but firm about the decision (“but it’s my belief that these changes are necessary for xyz reasons, so we’re going to require x in-person days per week”). It’s still clear that it’s not optional, but there’s less of a “gfy” tone. I get that the intro with silly office shots and lots of different members of the management team is meant to provide some levity, but making a significant, unilateral change to an employment agreement isn’t a situation that calls for levity, and so it comes off as disrespectful and condescending. I think that getting straight to the point and being honest about it is a better approach.
- wolverine876 3y ago
  I think your idea is a good one, and especially > empathy I still don't see the video as a problem. Most of the comments here (not yours) are jumping on the ridicule bandwagon, so I don't know if I have a blind spot, in which case I need to be careful with how I communicate, or if a lot of it is that bandwagon.