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I agree with the title, I don't think it matter how resilient you are if you have no friends and no money. The Veritasium YouTube channel debunked the fact that

I agree with the title, I don't think it matter how resilient you are if you have no friends and no money. The Veritasium YouTube channel debunked the fact that money doesn't make you happier (it does) and that there's a plateau (there isn't). I also learnt from Jordan Peterson that you only get positive emotion if you follow a goal. You can't follow a goal if you have no money. Anecdote: being poor is the most soul crushing thing that has happened to me. In my early 20s, I would go dancing sometimes and someone would approach me saying "you should buy me a drink" and I remember saying no because I had like 50$ total. Note, I was not blessed with loving parents. I don't know for sure, but I am willing to bet that people with more money have more friends with higher quality and deeper bonds then people with less money. I do think this plateaus however.

redserk 3y ago
Financial reasons or not, it is an entirely valid choice to decline someone's request for a drink.
- fragmede 3y ago
  It's a valid choice, but so is theirs to not continue to interact with you.
  - AnimalMuppet 3y ago
    Right, but as soperj said, the people you miss out on are the people who will dump you because you won't spend money on them. Missing out on them is likely to be a net win.
  - fhdkweig 3y ago
    That's the difference between a life-long friendship and a business transaction.
- Levitz 3y ago
  It's still soul crushing. It's internalized in a whole different way. When you have two, you have two, when you have one, you have none, what is it? Options. When you don't have a dime you don't choose not to spend money, your brain never gets there, it's just a "no" and the "no" is because you are poor.
  - deleted 3y ago
    [deleted]
  - redserk 3y ago
    I’m very much aware. I grew up in a poor family and was lucky to break out of the cycle in my 20s. That said, a club typically has people wanting free drinks and people not wanting to reciprocate. This environment is setting oneself up to be taken advantage of.
throwitaway222 3y ago
Thank you for reminding us of that. Well said comment. I hope you're doing better now.
BriggyDwiggs42 3y ago
The idea that it plateaus is a well studied phenomenon; most people don’t get significantly happier after 75k or so a year. I also think it’s very odd to suggest people with money (I’m imagining someone rich) have deeper bonds than poor people since my intuition would have led me to the opposite conclusion (poor people are more reliant on their communities). Your anecdote is really interesting cause, while being poor is absolutely soul crushing, dating is an area that shouldn’t need to be expensive, yet social expectations that men be the breadwinners (outdated, since everyone is forced to work now) lead many women to absolute dicks about men not having a bunch of money.
- wait_a_minute 3y ago
  > yet social expectations that men be the breadwinners (outdated, since everyone is forced to work now) Still plenty of stay-home moms who raise the kids and make the home. I don’t think your comment about that way of life being outdated is accurate, and I predict that because of automation the over-all need for labor will decline such that we will necessarily as a society go back to breadwinners and caretakers working together to build a household.
  - BriggyDwiggs42 3y ago
    You may be right about the division of labor reverting (though i sort of doubt it) but i think its unlikely to have its original gender divide since our social norms have shifted so much.
- TriangleEdge 3y ago
  This study suggests there isn't a 75k plateau: https://www.pnas.org/doi/full/10.1073/pnas.2016976118 https://www.pnas.org/doi/full/10.1073/pnas.2016976118
  - BriggyDwiggs42 3y ago
    Yeah you’re right. The study I was thinking of got debunked.
- 3y ago
soperj 3y ago
> In my early 20s, I would go dancing sometimes and someone would approach me saying "you should buy me a drink" and I remember saying no because I had like 50$ total. You just avoided the worst type of people anyway.
- exe34 3y ago
  That's copium. He declined a date because he couldn't afford it.
  - soperj 3y ago
    it really isn't. He declined buying a drink for someone who was asking them to buy them a drink, something I always do even though I can definitely afford it.
    - exe34 3y ago
      > I remember saying no because I had like 50$ total. He specifically stated his reason for declining. I'm not sure why you turned the comment towards yourself...

redserk 3y ago

Financial reasons or not, it is an entirely valid choice to decline someone's request for a drink.

fragmede 3y ago
It's a valid choice, but so is theirs to not continue to interact with you.
- AnimalMuppet 3y ago
  Right, but as soperj said, the people you miss out on are the people who will dump you because you won't spend money on them. Missing out on them is likely to be a net win.
- fhdkweig 3y ago
  That's the difference between a life-long friendship and a business transaction.
Levitz 3y ago
It's still soul crushing. It's internalized in a whole different way. When you have two, you have two, when you have one, you have none, what is it? Options. When you don't have a dime you don't choose not to spend money, your brain never gets there, it's just a "no" and the "no" is because you are poor.
- deleted 3y ago
  [deleted]
- redserk 3y ago
  I’m very much aware. I grew up in a poor family and was lucky to break out of the cycle in my 20s. That said, a club typically has people wanting free drinks and people not wanting to reciprocate. This environment is setting oneself up to be taken advantage of.

throwitaway222 3y ago

Thank you for reminding us of that. Well said comment. I hope you're doing better now.

BriggyDwiggs42 3y ago

The idea that it plateaus is a well studied phenomenon; most people don’t get significantly happier after 75k or so a year. I also think it’s very odd to suggest people with money (I’m imagining someone rich) have deeper bonds than poor people since my intuition would have led me to the opposite conclusion (poor people are more reliant on their communities). Your anecdote is really interesting cause, while being poor is absolutely soul crushing, dating is an area that shouldn’t need to be expensive, yet social expectations that men be the breadwinners (outdated, since everyone is forced to work now) lead many women to absolute dicks about men not having a bunch of money.

wait_a_minute 3y ago
> yet social expectations that men be the breadwinners (outdated, since everyone is forced to work now) Still plenty of stay-home moms who raise the kids and make the home. I don’t think your comment about that way of life being outdated is accurate, and I predict that because of automation the over-all need for labor will decline such that we will necessarily as a society go back to breadwinners and caretakers working together to build a household.
- BriggyDwiggs42 3y ago
  You may be right about the division of labor reverting (though i sort of doubt it) but i think its unlikely to have its original gender divide since our social norms have shifted so much.
TriangleEdge 3y ago
This study suggests there isn't a 75k plateau: https://www.pnas.org/doi/full/10.1073/pnas.2016976118 https://www.pnas.org/doi/full/10.1073/pnas.2016976118
- BriggyDwiggs42 3y ago
  Yeah you’re right. The study I was thinking of got debunked.
3y ago

soperj 3y ago

> In my early 20s, I would go dancing sometimes and someone would approach me saying "you should buy me a drink" and I remember saying no because I had like 50$ total. You just avoided the worst type of people anyway.

exe34 3y ago
That's copium. He declined a date because he couldn't afford it.
- soperj 3y ago
  it really isn't. He declined buying a drink for someone who was asking them to buy them a drink, something I always do even though I can definitely afford it.
  - exe34 3y ago
    > I remember saying no because I had like 50$ total. He specifically stated his reason for declining. I'm not sure why you turned the comment towards yourself...