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Men are hitting on my scheduling bot because it has a woman's name
- ryanklee 3y agoImagine being an actual woman and having to deal with this bullshit all the fucking time. I have no idea how the hell they do it. Must be low-level torture.
- wolverine876 3y agoImagine if women behaved this way toward men. Before making the obvious snarky remarks, step back and think about how unpleasant that would be, as well as distracting from doing actual work, degrading (they aren't taking you seriously as a professional, just as a f-k), etc.
- kylebenzle 3y ago.
- DANmode 3y agoI'll leave the rest of your comment to someone(s) else, but...Bumble failed? Citation?
- kylebenzle 3y ago[dead]
- DANmode 3y agoKyle, your blog link on your homepage is 404. Also, please do better with your comments in the future. You didn't even follow your smarmy link to see if something appropriate was shown in the results =[
- ozfive 3y agoI'm sorry, what world do you live in? As a server, women were extremely crass and inappropriate with me all of the time and it wasn't nice at all for me. I am also not the type to be that kind of guy so it was very jarring for me to experience.
- kylebenzle 3y agoI think most guys on this site don't really spend much time in the real world.
- randomdata 3y agoWell, who could stand to with all those people out there constantly asking you for things?
- ozfive 3y agoSan Francisco, Seattle, New York, Miami, Austin. Pick one I live there. Being in these environments really makes you wonder what sort of intellectual and ultimately evolutionary advancements have we made by constantly just volleying a ball over a net for so long with decisions that are made without our reach, oversight and generally care.
- kylebenzle 3y ago.
- bugglebeetle 3y agoSomeone who pesters waitresses to ensure the procreation of the human race is an argument against why that should occur.
- ozfive 3y agoAs a former male server I experienced women hitting on me in ways that I thought only men did and it didn't feel great at all. I'm sure there will be guys out there saying that's a good problem to have, but it really isn't. Especially if you have a wife already.
- bugglebeetle 3y agoYes, I shouldn’t have gendered it. Pestering anyone in a service role in this way is beyond obnoxious behavior, to put it politely.
- ozfive 3y agoTo describe it succinctly I and many others are a captive audience in these agreements to labor/income. I'm not necessarily attracted to you just because you are in my vicinity.
- alexey-salmin 3y agoWell you can argue against procreation of human race if you want but long-term this only means no procreation of your culture and not of the human race as a whole. Other cultures, more eager to spread will take it's place eventually.
- bugglebeetle 3y agoI didn’t argue against it in general, just for the case of people who pester service staff in pursuit of sexual gratification. I don’t think that’s a cultural issue, so much as one of individual boorishness.
- topherclay 3y ago>It gives a standard salutation and signs off with “Thank you, <bot name>.” I thought this was a mistake implying the bot was thanking itself as a way of signing off, but finally I realized it's probably supposed be a format like the end of a letter similar to "best wishes, topherclay".
- infotainment 3y agoThis seems like a great opportunity for LLMs. With ChatGPT's highly advanced flirty chat simulation, your business could keep those flirting-with-the-scheduling-bot email threads going for weeks!
- 63 3y agoThis isn't to excuse inappropriate behavior, but I do think that we should clearly label bots whenever possible to avoid embarrassments similar to this where one party knows it's a bot and the other doesn't.
- tourmalinetaco 3y agoNah, time spent flirting up a bot is time spent away from actual humans.
- spiderxxxx 3y agoAgreed. If it were a 'male' named bot, would that elicit the same responses? Why have a gendered name for a bot anyway, when there's tons of names without any sort of gender. If you've picked a 'female' name for a bot because you think it would get better responses, etc - that's something you would probably want to evaluate, but if people are thinking it's a human, then that's a you problem.
- noman-land 3y agoI have used female names for random one-off online accounts and the difference in the way I was treated was pretty fascinating and frankly a little saddening.
- akoboldfrying 3y agoWere you treated better, or worse?
- noman-land 3y agoJust... differently. A lot more random messages from strangers. A lot more smiley faces and what I could only describe as mild flirting or "flirt prodding". Depending on the platform there can also be a lot more abuse.
- yreg 3y agoI did this in RuneScape and it was very profitable. It was before the grand exchange, so trade happened by standing in a bank and shouting out offers.
- bilekas 3y agoThis is bizarre. I get very annoyed with creepy behaviour in the workplace especially. But if this post is true, then I would absolutely be forwarding the email thread to the client and simply say: "Could you ask your employee to please stop filling the automated assistant inbox".
- resolutebat 3y agoI used to work on a support team where a bot could solve simple cases: eg. if the user's software license had just expired, it would grant an immediate one-off 24 hour extension so the user could get their payments sorted. The fun bit is that it would reply to the case using a female name, using the same kind of account as human support reps. The bot's customer satisfaction surveys were over the top effusive, including not a few people declaring that they were in love and asking us to promote "her" for being so fast, polite and effective. I don't think "she" was ever asked out on a date though!
- kylebenzle 3y agoWomen do tend to get treated better and given more opportunities, interesting observation.
- jauco 3y agoThis needn't be because of the female name though, does it? A bot is generally very fast and if it was programmed right it might just be a very good experience for the end-users. Did the ratings change after the bot got a male name?
- deleted 3y ago[deleted]
- palmfacehn 3y agoThere's an obvious solution that doesn't involve moralizing about gender disputes. Set up another bot to schedule hoax dates, "Here's my personal email address" Continue to elaborate on the scheme with AI selfies, excuses for the no-show and whatever else you can come up with. You'll have more ideas as the project progresses. The real comedy gold will be when the person involved asks about your assistant in real life.
- Gyrantula 3y ago[flagged]
- resolutebat 3y agoThere are, sadly, multiple other regions that fit the bill (Middle East, Latin America, etc), and plenty of creeps in all countries.
- freitasm 3y agoYou only have to look at LinkedIn to see the levels people go to when commenting on women's posts. Even those where these women post nothing but business - and if their posts have a photo, there's an even better chance these comments will be there. On the other hand, you can see some posts are bait. And the guys replying take it and run. You see them because if any of your connections react to these posts, you might see them in your feed. It's cringey. Coupled with the self-aggrandising posts, the self-help "wisdom" and other stuff, they make LinkedIn look like a Mos Eisley Cantina.
- rl3 3y ago>... they make LinkedIn look like a Mos Eisley Cantina. No amount of credits could convince Figrin D'an and the Modal Nodes to play LinkedIn. That band has standards.
- huytersd 3y agoWhy is hitting on a woman inappropriate behavior?
- randomdata 3y agoCompetition strategy. The more people you can convince that they shouldn't hit on women means fewer people hitting on women, which improves the chances for those who hit on women. Same reason 'slut shaming' is a thing, which is the same thing, just from the other point of view. The more people you can convince to not accept the advances of others means more opportunity for those who do.
- ghusto 3y agoIt’s inappropriate if it’s inappropriate. Not that hitting on a woman is inappropriate in itself. Think of it the other way around: You send an email trying to quickly schedule an appointment with someone, and they reply with a time, and flirt with you. It’s weird because there’s no context for that.
- huytersd 3y agoIt seems arbitrary. Plenty of people hit on each other in professional settings or the workplace all the time.
- yowzadave 3y agoThere's a TV show starring Stephen Merchant from a few years ago called "Hello Ladies", in which he plays a character who is constantly hitting on (and being rejected by) models and actresses. He has a frequent complaint when he gets shut down for behaving inappropriately: "What are the rules?!?" It's frustrating for people who are less socially adept to learn that, in some cases, there are no hard and fast rules.
- huytersd 3y agoI think it’s less about “not getting the rules” and more of who made those rules because society doesn’t agree on them in a unified way by any means.
- akoboldfrying 3y ago>Obviously, this would be inappropriate behavior if it was happening to an actual human assistant, and I would deal with it. Unless one person has some level of authority over the other, I don't see why this should be considered inappropriate. Not taking no for an answer, or any kind of retribution for being declined, are harassment and shouldn't be tolerated -- but just asking? I think that's something any man or woman should be able to ask any man or woman. For avoidance of doubt: Asking someone out when you know very little about them isn't smooth. It won't impress many people. But I don't see it as morally repugnant.
- randomdata 3y ago> But I don't see it as morally repugnant. It is not seen as morally repugnant, it is seen as economically repugnant. If you were the server admin for a business and an old lady came in off the street asking if you would help her fix her computer, it is likely your boss would step in to put a stop to that too. The employer doesn't want to pay you to do things for other people. If the old lady came to your house instead, nobody would give a rat's ass. Likewise, if 'Emily' were a real assistant and people were asking her out on dates using her personal email address, that'd be her problem. But when someone is paying you for your undivided attention...
- akoboldfrying 3y agoIf I understand you correctly, your objection to asking people out at work is that it wastes company time? If so, this is a really interesting argument that I've never come across before. I do agree that it wastes company time, but I would think in such small quantities that it had very little impact -- on par with having a 5 minute chat with your office mate about their weekend. I still have the impression that for many people who do object to this sort of thing, their objection stems from a feeling that being asked out at work is an uncomfortable or even frightening thing, something a person should not have to be subjected to.
- randomdata 3y ago> If I understand you correctly, your objection to asking people out at work is that it wastes company time? No. Why would I have any feelings towards what other people do? That doesn't make any sense. The quote is written from an economic perspective. If 'Emily' were real and a random person the author had never met, there would be no concern or attempt to stand in. Allison is concerned because they would have 'Emily' on the clock. It impacts Allison directly. The cost in the case in the bot, despite being the exact same act, is so small it is immeasurable. As such, we get a 'funny anecdote' instead.
- ghusto 3y agoI don’t think there’s anything morally wrong with it, but I’d still say men shouldn’t do it because it’s annoying. We’ve been mixing up “morally wrong” with “come on, don’t be a dick” constantly when addressing feminist issues. The first relates to feminist issues, the latter is general advice for human beings. This is the latter: Don’t hit on people without any personal context. It’s weird, annoying, and a bit sad. Do we have to say these things out loud?
- 6R1M0R4CL3 3y agoif some men did, it is not acceptable to write "men are hitting" because not all men are doing that. at minimum this is dishonest if not misandry.
- resolutebat 3y agoThe statement is true as long as all the people doing the hitting are men. "Woman stoned to death by men" does not imply all men stone women to death.
- kennethrc 3y agoI'm sorry, but this doesn't ping anyone else's Bullshit Detector?!