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>>Finally I must add, all the friends (more like acquaintances) you make at the gym are absolutely crucial to motivate oneself Yes, but it's personality specif

>>Finally I must add, all the friends (more like acquaintances) you make at the gym are absolutely crucial to motivate oneself Yes, but it's personality specific; the absolute worst part of the gym, to me, is "other people". The sweaty, macho, over-enthusiastic bros with specific kind of humour (you can tell me that's not all or even most of them; doesn't matter, my subconsciousness doesn't believe you! :). The stinky changing rooms and people who don't want to cover anything up. The noise and the loudness and the boisterousness and just... people. So many people. Way too many people. Some of them even try to engage me! Make eye contact or talk to me! I think I'll stay home and try my elliptical again. SO I guess, you're right, people at the gym ARE motivational :-) (don't get me wrong - I'm mostly a people person otherwise; I'm an introvert but nobody believes me as I'm fairly outgoing, make small talk easily, smile and listen and engage people. But gym is where I'm at my most vulnerable, least-confident, and I suppose I have my share of traumatic memories of gyms as a scrawny dorky asthmatic nerdy boy. So I definitely, absolutely, completely, positively, desire no social interaction at the gym right now :)

opportune 3y ago
Not to point out the obvious, but most of this is I think just anxiety. I remember when I first started exercising, I was a fat alcoholic that was usually the youngest person there and had no idea what he was doing. I was very anxious about potentially doing something wrong, or being taunted or judged. I didn’t know how to use a lot of equipment and it took a long time before I even realized kind of “obvious” stuff like you being able to swap out attachments on cable systems. I knew my body language was glaringly displaying low self confidence and anxiety, and was further psyched out by knowing that it was obvious and I couldn’t do anything about it. As I went to the gym more I became more self confident and also assured through experience that I wasn’t doing anything wrong and nobody would be a dick to me. I mean, people are dicks sometimes, but usually only out of their own selfishness (like wanting to use something you are, or hogging something they’re not use because of fucking supersets), not malice. There’s always a small chance of a bad interaction along those lines every time you go but the anxiety definitely greatly subsides over time.
- NikolaNovak 3y ago
  Oh agree, it's all anxiety and insecurity! It's a catch-22 in that sense :).
- throwaway2037 3y ago
  Thanks for this brutally honest post! We need more of this on HN. Some advice from a weakling(!): In most gyms where I have worked-out, you can either ask the staff or a super buff lady/dude on how to best use the equipment. Yes, you feel like a complete idiot for about 6 seconds while asking for help. But then, they are so supportive and friendly. It's weird. If you are a tiny nobody at the gym, the super buffs are more than happy to provide advice if you asking respectfully. Note: Do not ask for help when they are in the middle of a set! EDIT Big support for going the gym. Your original post sounds like you were going through some big issues.
nelblu 3y ago
You will find that if you go at the times I go, most of these things are not a problem. It's usually only the serious, respectful people who show up at that time. Once I went to the gym around 5pm and OMG, it was the first time ever I felt like why am I here. Never happened again !
v-erne 3y ago
And this is why only go to boutique gym where you get personal trainer and whole room full of equipment only for yourself. I did not know that this kind of arrangement is possible (I used to go only to normal gyms which were overcrowded most of the times). My wife found it near us and we decided to check it, made a reservation, and now, after a year I cannot imagine going back. Unfortunately it does come with hefty price tag - about 4-5 times bigger than normal gym subscription.

opportune 3y ago

Not to point out the obvious, but most of this is I think just anxiety. I remember when I first started exercising, I was a fat alcoholic that was usually the youngest person there and had no idea what he was doing. I was very anxious about potentially doing something wrong, or being taunted or judged. I didn’t know how to use a lot of equipment and it took a long time before I even realized kind of “obvious” stuff like you being able to swap out attachments on cable systems. I knew my body language was glaringly displaying low self confidence and anxiety, and was further psyched out by knowing that it was obvious and I couldn’t do anything about it. As I went to the gym more I became more self confident and also assured through experience that I wasn’t doing anything wrong and nobody would be a dick to me. I mean, people are dicks sometimes, but usually only out of their own selfishness (like wanting to use something you are, or hogging something they’re not use because of fucking supersets), not malice. There’s always a small chance of a bad interaction along those lines every time you go but the anxiety definitely greatly subsides over time.

NikolaNovak 3y ago
Oh agree, it's all anxiety and insecurity! It's a catch-22 in that sense :).
throwaway2037 3y ago
Thanks for this brutally honest post! We need more of this on HN. Some advice from a weakling(!): In most gyms where I have worked-out, you can either ask the staff or a super buff lady/dude on how to best use the equipment. Yes, you feel like a complete idiot for about 6 seconds while asking for help. But then, they are so supportive and friendly. It's weird. If you are a tiny nobody at the gym, the super buffs are more than happy to provide advice if you asking respectfully. Note: Do not ask for help when they are in the middle of a set! EDIT Big support for going the gym. Your original post sounds like you were going through some big issues.

nelblu 3y ago

You will find that if you go at the times I go, most of these things are not a problem. It's usually only the serious, respectful people who show up at that time. Once I went to the gym around 5pm and OMG, it was the first time ever I felt like why am I here. Never happened again !

v-erne 3y ago

And this is why only go to boutique gym where you get personal trainer and whole room full of equipment only for yourself. I did not know that this kind of arrangement is possible (I used to go only to normal gyms which were overcrowded most of the times). My wife found it near us and we decided to check it, made a reservation, and now, after a year I cannot imagine going back. Unfortunately it does come with hefty price tag - about 4-5 times bigger than normal gym subscription.