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> It's distressing that (G?)PP either doesn't understand this, or is unwilling to spend enough time on reading I already know there are many things that I don'

by csdvrx 3y ago

> It's distressing that (G?)PP either doesn't understand this, or is unwilling to spend enough time on reading I already know there are many things that I don't understand, but I'm willing to spend large amounts of time to improve my understanding

johnchristopher 3y ago
Well, here's one: > I have trouble understanding how someone is generally felt (if not understood) as aggressive, as in passive-aggressive. You literally say you "have trouble understanding *foo*" as if the problem was on your side but what is understood (and more often than not meant) is "how could anyone/you be so stupid to do/think/try this is beyond me". "I have trouble understanding why you would use lib *foo* instead of lib *bar*" is very common on stackoverflow and other comp. sci. forums. Maybe people think it's a polite way to say things but it's worse because it's poison under veneer. If you want to point out you think it's stupid just say "I think it's stupid". 1/ it's stupid is better than you is stupid 2/ it's closer to what you want to express (or are people really so self-centred that someone else doing something they think is stupid breaks their brain ("trouble understanding")). my 2ç.
- csdvrx 3y ago
  Very interesting, thank you! I didn't think it was stupid, I had genuine trouble understanding how could an extra feature be hated - it didn't make sense: I thought it was maybe not the feature itself, but either the default setting, or the fact that it was a setting that could be tweaked. But when something doesn't make sense to me, I've found it often means I've overlooked or missed something that may be evident to others (sometimes I even write: "what have I overlooked?") Here, I missed that it would be interpreted to mean "poison under veneer". I'd like to improve, as in "not being perceived as aggressive", so I appreciate your feedback!
- dcminter 3y ago
  > poison under veneer Is this your own coinage? It's very good and I'm totally stealing it either way.
  - johnchristopher 3y ago
    > > poison under veneer > Is this your own coinage? It's very good and I'm totally stealing it either way. Yes, English is not my first language and I was trying to remember a colloquialism to translate. I was thinking of the words "veneer" (often used to indicate something is hidden with malice in my mother tongue) and "poison" as in "a viper's tongue" which is "a sharp tongue" in English and other words but I couldn't remember any aphorisms in either of languages. I thought both words would be evocative enough to convey the meaning so I went with it.
    - dcminter 3y ago
      Honestly it's brilliant.

by csdvrx 3y ago

johnchristopher 3y ago

Well, here's one: > I have trouble understanding how someone is generally felt (if not understood) as aggressive, as in passive-aggressive. You literally say you "have trouble understanding *foo*" as if the problem was on your side but what is understood (and more often than not meant) is "how could anyone/you be so stupid to do/think/try this is beyond me". "I have trouble understanding why you would use lib *foo* instead of lib *bar*" is very common on stackoverflow and other comp. sci. forums. Maybe people think it's a polite way to say things but it's worse because it's poison under veneer. If you want to point out you think it's stupid just say "I think it's stupid". 1/ it's stupid is better than you is stupid 2/ it's closer to what you want to express (or are people really so self-centred that someone else doing something they think is stupid breaks their brain ("trouble understanding")). my 2ç.

csdvrx 3y ago
Very interesting, thank you! I didn't think it was stupid, I had genuine trouble understanding how could an extra feature be hated - it didn't make sense: I thought it was maybe not the feature itself, but either the default setting, or the fact that it was a setting that could be tweaked. But when something doesn't make sense to me, I've found it often means I've overlooked or missed something that may be evident to others (sometimes I even write: "what have I overlooked?") Here, I missed that it would be interpreted to mean "poison under veneer". I'd like to improve, as in "not being perceived as aggressive", so I appreciate your feedback!
dcminter 3y ago
> poison under veneer Is this your own coinage? It's very good and I'm totally stealing it either way.
- johnchristopher 3y ago
  > > poison under veneer > Is this your own coinage? It's very good and I'm totally stealing it either way. Yes, English is not my first language and I was trying to remember a colloquialism to translate. I was thinking of the words "veneer" (often used to indicate something is hidden with malice in my mother tongue) and "poison" as in "a viper's tongue" which is "a sharp tongue" in English and other words but I couldn't remember any aphorisms in either of languages. I thought both words would be evocative enough to convey the meaning so I went with it.
  - dcminter 3y ago
    Honestly it's brilliant.