I can't participate in the Eucharist at home. Also, you are still assuming that sickness and suffering are inherently bad. There are worse things for your soul

I can't participate in the Eucharist at home. Also, you are still assuming that sickness and suffering are inherently bad. There are worse things for your soul than sickness and death. Sickness and suffering in general heal your soul, and death means you have repented as much as you can and you are returning to your Lord. There is nothing to fear. Suffering and sickness shouldn't be avoided out of fear.