5 ms·

I don't understand the shaming of how people choose to enjoy an event. Live and let live seems to be a much nicer way to enjoy life. No one there is hurting an

I don't understand the shaming of how people choose to enjoy an event. Live and let live seems to be a much nicer way to enjoy life. No one there is hurting anyone ... in fact all I see is a lot of people engaged in creating something: a video of their experience. Is it a good video? Maybe, maybe not, but it's their video. Would I film it if I were there? Maybe? I don't know. I tend not to but I don't begrudge others who do.

spacecadet 3y ago
Looks awfully bad for the environment? I dont get big shows or any group activity tho...
ejb999 3y ago
but did they create a video of their experience? or did they just created the ten thousandth almost identical video that they could find online later and probably of better quality, just so they could post in on their social media to prove to people they were there? Honestly, I don't care what people do, but some should try putting down the camera and enjoying the moment for a change and see if it changes their way of viewing things.
- yowzadave 3y ago
  This is why the only thing I bother taking photos of is my kids/family. If I'm visiting Delicate Arch, will my photo of it be any better than one of the millions of others I could find instantly by googling? Will I return to that photo and enjoy it later? No. (Actually good photographers, feel free to ignore this comment).
  - 303uru 3y ago
    As a long time amateur photographer, I agree. I had the DSLR, mirrorless, $10s of thousands in lenses, etc... But the reality is I can find a fantastic image of damn near any landscape in seconds. So, instead I get candid photos of my kids and wife in the places we visit. I have yet to feel the need to lookup a photo of a landscape.
ranting-moth 3y ago
Society is like that today. My way is the right way so shame on you for doing it differently.
- prepend 3y ago
  Criticizing isn’t always shame. And I don’t think it’s shame here. It’s ok to dislike something and to share my dislike with others. It’s also ok to point out wrong things toward making things better.
- spacemadness 3y ago
  Modern society invented shaming in the last X years? I don’t think that’s how it works.
corobo 3y ago
Ya I might not take a video or pictures of everything but all sorts of things have "on this day" these days. The pictures I have taken occasionally pop up and I remember the entire event. My phone (iOS) even makes little videos now and then that show the entire trip for me. I'm not sure which is more sad really. Folks not "experiencing the moment", folks calling those people sad, or me on the next meta level up judging the people judging the people haha Let people get their dopamine however they want to get it, internet, lmao
prepend 3y ago
Here’s how I imagine it. You’re in the Louvre, you’re in front of the Mona Lisa. It’s an amazing painting and it’s right there. And the person next to you is playing their gameboy. It’s not about shaming them. It’s feeling regret that they are wasting this opportunity and missing something amazing. Or I’m at breakfast with the most beautiful woman in the world and instead I don’t know she’s there and scroll through hacker news. I wouldn’t expect a person next to me to shame me for it, but I would expect them to recognize me wasting this opportunity. In my examples, there could be many reasons why people would miss the beautiful thing for the banal. But in photos like this, there are 1000s missing the actual experience to record something vastly inferior than the experience. I don’t think it’s shame. I think it’s empathetic regret and an urge to avoid doing this. I think it’s a bad thing for me to do. I want to do it less.
- corobo 3y ago
  I think what you're calling empathetic regret is in the dictionary under the word jealousy or maybe envy
  - nonrandomstring 3y ago
    Almost the total opposite of "jealousy", but nonetheless an unpleasant emotion more like "pity". Pity is sometimes described as an "ugly" emotion. It presumes you're in a better position to judge someone else. Getting over pity is a big life step of getting over yourself. Grace and compersion rush into the space left behind. Alexander the Great (probably a super genius) said he admired Diogenes, and that if he wasn't himself - so in touch with his own ambition - he'd like to be Diogenes, a man so in touch with his ecstatic humility. Anyway with respect to technological enslavement, I think it goes deeper than "pity". I once saw a small child running around with a tablet photographing everything and (probably copying a parent) saying "I have to capture moments". That sent a fucking deep chill down my spine.
  - prepend 3y ago
    Why would I be jealous of someone missing an experience to do less good thing?
Fricken 3y ago
They don't appear to have a choice, they're all stuck doing the same thing every other person is doing. They have succumb to herd behavior and can't help themselves.
magpi3 3y ago
Just my opinion: being in a group where everyone is on their phone feels alienating, and often causes me to whip out my own phone just to shield myself from the awkwardness. Of course there is nothing wrong with looking at your phone and recording something. But when everyone is doing it enmass like that, how can it not change the group dynamic in some way? Just imagine the end of a movie like "It's a Wonderful life" or some other movie that ends with a group celebration. Now change the ending by imagining everyone whipping out their phones to record the event. You know what I mean? I don't know. Maybe people who grow up with this are more comfortable with it. Maybe it is a generational thing.
- cassianoleal 3y ago
  > being in a group where everyone is on their phone feels alienating I agree - it's a terrible feeling. I also pick up my phone as a shield sometimes in these situations though I try to avoid it and just "enjoy" the awkwardness. > when everyone is doing it enmass like that, how can it not change the group dynamic in some way? I don't see people filming an event the same as being "on their phone". Not in the same way as everybody around a bar table checking WhatsApp, Instagram, Lemmy, whatever... When I'm filming something, I can still be as present with the people around me as I am when not filming. I have distanced myself from the object of the film but not from my immediate surroundings. I can still sing the songs, talk to the group about the performance, etc. Note that I also think it's bad when people spend a lot of their time watching a live event through their screens though. It can also be quite annoying for those of us behind them, especially if you're not a tall person, since it becomes even harder to actually see the live performance.
  - nonrandomstring 3y ago
    > just "enjoy" the awkwardness. Oh now you're talking! That's a x100 superpower. I recently met someone who is about to start a (psych) PhD on "Awkwardness" and I had one of the most interesting conversations in years. Some people fear embarrassment more than life threatening danger. As one of my favourite philosophers put it, terror management cannot be a plausible theory because "people aren't afraid of dying any more, they're afraid of being seen wearing the wrong trainers". We should all try to understand "awkwardness" and social pressure more, because I think it's role in widespread manipulation is unrecognised. There's something very, very powerful about being kinda resistant to awkwardness without being a callous asshole who feels no shame and delights in other people's discomfort. One insight is that it's highly contagious. and its powerful to be the chain-breaker who can spot it, name it, make a joke or otherwise disrupt it. People really appreciate you for that. When I am in a group of people who get phomo (that nervous wave of synchronised checking and tapping) I just walk off now. I used to stand there watching them all, but have since realised its me who makes them feel terribly awkward. I don't feel awkward, I feel mildly insulted.. but that's my baggage, so I just politely extricate. Edit: Someone flagged this entire topic. Since I cannot find a single untoward comment in the threads I assume they just felt awkward about the whole discussion. QED.
johanvts 3y ago
Its ok here because the fireworks are so high up, but its pretty annoying behaviour at concerts.

spacecadet 3y ago

Looks awfully bad for the environment? I dont get big shows or any group activity tho...

ejb999 3y ago

but did they create a video of their experience? or did they just created the ten thousandth almost identical video that they could find online later and probably of better quality, just so they could post in on their social media to prove to people they were there? Honestly, I don't care what people do, but some should try putting down the camera and enjoying the moment for a change and see if it changes their way of viewing things.

yowzadave 3y ago
This is why the only thing I bother taking photos of is my kids/family. If I'm visiting Delicate Arch, will my photo of it be any better than one of the millions of others I could find instantly by googling? Will I return to that photo and enjoy it later? No. (Actually good photographers, feel free to ignore this comment).
- 303uru 3y ago
  As a long time amateur photographer, I agree. I had the DSLR, mirrorless, $10s of thousands in lenses, etc... But the reality is I can find a fantastic image of damn near any landscape in seconds. So, instead I get candid photos of my kids and wife in the places we visit. I have yet to feel the need to lookup a photo of a landscape.

ranting-moth 3y ago

Society is like that today. My way is the right way so shame on you for doing it differently.

prepend 3y ago
Criticizing isn’t always shame. And I don’t think it’s shame here. It’s ok to dislike something and to share my dislike with others. It’s also ok to point out wrong things toward making things better.
spacemadness 3y ago
Modern society invented shaming in the last X years? I don’t think that’s how it works.

corobo 3y ago

Ya I might not take a video or pictures of everything but all sorts of things have "on this day" these days. The pictures I have taken occasionally pop up and I remember the entire event. My phone (iOS) even makes little videos now and then that show the entire trip for me. I'm not sure which is more sad really. Folks not "experiencing the moment", folks calling those people sad, or me on the next meta level up judging the people judging the people haha Let people get their dopamine however they want to get it, internet, lmao

prepend 3y ago

Here’s how I imagine it. You’re in the Louvre, you’re in front of the Mona Lisa. It’s an amazing painting and it’s right there. And the person next to you is playing their gameboy. It’s not about shaming them. It’s feeling regret that they are wasting this opportunity and missing something amazing. Or I’m at breakfast with the most beautiful woman in the world and instead I don’t know she’s there and scroll through hacker news. I wouldn’t expect a person next to me to shame me for it, but I would expect them to recognize me wasting this opportunity. In my examples, there could be many reasons why people would miss the beautiful thing for the banal. But in photos like this, there are 1000s missing the actual experience to record something vastly inferior than the experience. I don’t think it’s shame. I think it’s empathetic regret and an urge to avoid doing this. I think it’s a bad thing for me to do. I want to do it less.

corobo 3y ago
I think what you're calling empathetic regret is in the dictionary under the word jealousy or maybe envy
- nonrandomstring 3y ago
  Almost the total opposite of "jealousy", but nonetheless an unpleasant emotion more like "pity". Pity is sometimes described as an "ugly" emotion. It presumes you're in a better position to judge someone else. Getting over pity is a big life step of getting over yourself. Grace and compersion rush into the space left behind. Alexander the Great (probably a super genius) said he admired Diogenes, and that if he wasn't himself - so in touch with his own ambition - he'd like to be Diogenes, a man so in touch with his ecstatic humility. Anyway with respect to technological enslavement, I think it goes deeper than "pity". I once saw a small child running around with a tablet photographing everything and (probably copying a parent) saying "I have to capture moments". That sent a fucking deep chill down my spine.
- prepend 3y ago
  Why would I be jealous of someone missing an experience to do less good thing?

Fricken 3y ago

They don't appear to have a choice, they're all stuck doing the same thing every other person is doing. They have succumb to herd behavior and can't help themselves.

magpi3 3y ago

Just my opinion: being in a group where everyone is on their phone feels alienating, and often causes me to whip out my own phone just to shield myself from the awkwardness. Of course there is nothing wrong with looking at your phone and recording something. But when everyone is doing it enmass like that, how can it not change the group dynamic in some way? Just imagine the end of a movie like "It's a Wonderful life" or some other movie that ends with a group celebration. Now change the ending by imagining everyone whipping out their phones to record the event. You know what I mean? I don't know. Maybe people who grow up with this are more comfortable with it. Maybe it is a generational thing.

cassianoleal 3y ago
> being in a group where everyone is on their phone feels alienating I agree - it's a terrible feeling. I also pick up my phone as a shield sometimes in these situations though I try to avoid it and just "enjoy" the awkwardness. > when everyone is doing it enmass like that, how can it not change the group dynamic in some way? I don't see people filming an event the same as being "on their phone". Not in the same way as everybody around a bar table checking WhatsApp, Instagram, Lemmy, whatever... When I'm filming something, I can still be as present with the people around me as I am when not filming. I have distanced myself from the object of the film but not from my immediate surroundings. I can still sing the songs, talk to the group about the performance, etc. Note that I also think it's bad when people spend a lot of their time watching a live event through their screens though. It can also be quite annoying for those of us behind them, especially if you're not a tall person, since it becomes even harder to actually see the live performance.
- nonrandomstring 3y ago
  > just "enjoy" the awkwardness. Oh now you're talking! That's a x100 superpower. I recently met someone who is about to start a (psych) PhD on "Awkwardness" and I had one of the most interesting conversations in years. Some people fear embarrassment more than life threatening danger. As one of my favourite philosophers put it, terror management cannot be a plausible theory because "people aren't afraid of dying any more, they're afraid of being seen wearing the wrong trainers". We should all try to understand "awkwardness" and social pressure more, because I think it's role in widespread manipulation is unrecognised. There's something very, very powerful about being kinda resistant to awkwardness without being a callous asshole who feels no shame and delights in other people's discomfort. One insight is that it's highly contagious. and its powerful to be the chain-breaker who can spot it, name it, make a joke or otherwise disrupt it. People really appreciate you for that. When I am in a group of people who get phomo (that nervous wave of synchronised checking and tapping) I just walk off now. I used to stand there watching them all, but have since realised its me who makes them feel terribly awkward. I don't feel awkward, I feel mildly insulted.. but that's my baggage, so I just politely extricate. Edit: Someone flagged this entire topic. Since I cannot find a single untoward comment in the threads I assume they just felt awkward about the whole discussion. QED.

johanvts 3y ago

Its ok here because the fireworks are so high up, but its pretty annoying behaviour at concerts.